It had/has a very specific weight actually.. I had refused to mourn for my EX.. Fighting a losing battle was killing me inside and out.. Now I allow myself to mourn and I feel much better.. The crying has stopped. The anger is fading and I am accepting my fate.
It's all good
It could be a release but it sounds more like depression, or at least a chemical imbalance affecting your moods.
How do you feel before, during and after?
My counselor got to me admit I was depressed.. I wasn't admitting it and "we" (as in the forum for example) saw what was happening to me as things welled up inside.
I wasn't allowing myself to admit I was hurt, that I am hurt, and that it's OK to really mourn for what I have lost.
I felt since it is all my responsibility ( It isn't actually) ,that I am not allowed to tend to myself and feel bad (sorry for myself).
Admitting It hurts and that I am sad about things has been catharsis.
OH, that, and finally admitting maybe my childhood was not "normal" like I am prone to saying it was.
I don't think I have a chemical imbalance. None of my therapists have thought so either.
They say I am simply too defensive and too good at convincing people they can't hurt me.
Apparently I do not like feeling vulnerable. Anytime I do.. I panic.
Originally Posted by erm
So it's stopped now?
I know that problem.
When you cried like this, did it feel bad? Good? Neutral? What did the whole experience bring in terms of sensations? How did it compare to the more usual types of crying?
That's all, you know, if you don't mind me asking!
I am feeling a lot better lately, Thanks.
When it was happening it just felt confusing.
I didn't really feel any better or worse.
I just wondered why I was crying and thinking about why, befuddled me.