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  1. #31
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    what do you do when you reach the point in your life when you realize that all of the things you really wanted to do when you grew up are very unlikely now... when you wonder if you sold out your goals for comfort. Do you give up? Do you still try? Do you try to find a compromise? Am I the only one who wonders if they've hit that fork in the road?
    I think that within reason, it's never too late. If you have the drive and ability to try to achieve some of them, or to change your life in a new direction, I think it can be done. I think people too easily cease being willing to take new forks in the road as they get older, and I think part of it is just a societal undercurrent that tends to discourage that or make it seem 'impossible' once you hit a certain point...I mean, this makes sense, as life for most gets more complicated with age, what with relationships and families, but again, if the opportunity/way is there... take it! (I know someone who ended up applying to and getting a really good medical Residency at age 39)

    As for dreams... might sound weird, but I don't think I've ever had any. Really!! I think part of it was that I grew up in a non-dream-inspired/oriented-household, but just to give you an example -- I was never one who had the dream to do a lot of traveling once I was retired, because a) I knew there was the possibility that I might die before then, and boy would that suck, and b) I knew that traveling when I'm not in my prime wouldn't be terribly awesome anyway. So, for me, I try to 'live' any dreams that I have, in the Now - and try to actualize them in the Now. If there's something I want to incorporate into my life or work towards, I go for it. If there's something else which I realize isn't what I want my life to be about, I'll try to shift away from it and come up with something better. I think all of it's a continuous process.

    (of course I say all of this is in reason - if you have a dream that will involve years of work before you'll be in a position to reach it, then obviously it's more of a long-term goal, but still I don't think it's too late. You're awfully young, whatever!! )
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  2. #32
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Smile The American Dream and Reality

    The poet Auden taught us that poetry does nothing. However apprentice poets try to make their poetry come true, particulary their love poetry, but they find their dreams don't come true and poetry does nothing.

    But of course dreams are not reality and so are not meant to come true.

    And yet we continue to dream and write poetry, because poetry gives life its savour.

    And when life loses its savour, we become depressed. And depression is the largest presenting symptom in doctors' surgeries, precipitationg a huge profitable pharmaceutical industry to treat depression.

    So in the land of ideology with an ideological Constitution, where ideology is king, where ideology is the dream of three hundred million citizens, no wonder so many are depressed because their dream doesn't come true.

    It is almost as though Disney Land isn't true, Santa isn't true, the Trinity a fevered dream, and Hollywood a dream factory.

  3. #33

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    Well, I experience this a couple of times and probably will as time goes on, although I take massive comfort from the fact that while I may from time to time experience jealousy of my friends who are married, with kids, houses, lots of things which now and again I imagine constitute "a dream" or "the dream", if particular people had been involved, most of the time I'm very happy with how I am.

    Single, working steadily, putting some of what I've learned and believe to be important into practice, not too overburdened with work, trying and succeeding to strike a balance even if it is only to secure the days off which might allow me the opportunity at least to feel like I'm really living (I tend to find that now, the experience of really living life fills the spaces in between other commitments).

    For most things I never did I've plenty of consolations or reasons why its not a terrible loss to me really, for instance, I never became a soldier but then there were no wars worth fighting at the time, I never reached peak physical fitness and became a facsimile of any of my action heroes like Arnie or as good a martial artist as Bruce Lee but I can improve my fitness for my age (31yrs).

    I'm never going to lead any revolution or reshape the world but I'm more and more aware of the flaws in the ideologies I once thought were great and how imperfect and necessarily so the world is and will be (at least it means the revolutions of the political or cultural tendencies I oppose wont work out or happen either).

    I never joined the priesthood or a religious order but I'm increasingly aware that the church which I could have been most at home in no longer exists, if it ever did, and I could meet all sorts of people unlike myself and embracing religion for all sorts of reasons which are contrary to my own if I did pursue the religious calling.

    In the main I've read Eric Fromm, who thinks disillusionment is a positive thing or can be turned to positive growth and development, and another book called the age of absurdity which suggest that consumerism and potential as a philosophical idea have created a burden of expectation. Analysing my situation like that allows me to come to terms with it better.

    Sometimes I get annoyed that I'll likely not read all the books I own before I die, or I'll miss other opportunities in life if I spend the time doing so, but life goes on. If you dwell on it or think about it it can become truly absurd, for instance, consider the amount of times when, because you didnt buy a ticket, you've effectively passed on the dream of winning the lottery.

  4. #34
    Peaced Quay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    what do you do when you reach the point in your life when you realize that all of the things you really wanted to do when you grew up are very unlikely now... when you wonder if you sold out your goals for comfort. Do you give up? Do you still try? Do you try to find a compromise? Am I the only one who wonders if they've hit that fork in the road?
    You know I've thought about this, but my life is so awesomely weird, I have no reason to believe that they won't come true regardless of what is going on in the present.

    Have you ever had something in your life work out the way you want it to even though you had no expectation that it would?

  5. #35

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    When I think about it my dream of growing up to be James Bond was a little unrealistic.

  6. #36
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    One dream might not come true, but it doesn't mean other dreams can't/won't come true. Nor does not having a dream come true mean you can't make new ones.

    So what if one of my dreams won't come true, I have other dreams that I like just as much.

    A dream doesn't have to be something grand you know. It can be something as simple as losing/gaining weight, to living just a simple life, or being a firefighter. Take your pick of whatever dream you create. If things don't go well, pick another one until you find one that does come true.

  7. #37
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    If you enjoy comfort then comfort must be at least part of your goals.

  8. #38
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    what do you do when you reach the point in your life when you realize that all of the things you really wanted to do when you grew up are very unlikely now... when you wonder if you sold out your goals for comfort. Do you give up? Do you still try? Do you try to find a compromise? Am I the only one who wonders if they've hit that fork in the road?
    I'm still trying to make my dream come true. My dreams have become more specific along the way from childhood to adulthood. As a child, I didn't want more than use my time imagining things and inventing stories. I never realized you could "become" a writer so I didn't work towards that goal. I also didn't want to think about being an adult (with work and responsibilities and being boring) as long as I wasn't one.
    Now I want to write my stories down and make money with them, because this would allow me to allot MORE of my time imagining things and inventing stories.
    I've also had this dream of being a scientist and an inventor. This has been scratched, as I'm not really cut for lonely (E), deadline-less (P - I need external pressure) research work. But I can still be a science teacher, can't I?
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
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