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Thread: Confidence

  1. #11
    Senior Member snegledmaca's Avatar
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    Indifference gives me confidence. The more indifferent I am to something the more I am able to do with it.

  2. #12
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Previous success and realising that no matter what the outcome, it won't kill me.

    Rationalisation of what is being risked has often helped me to bypass my initial fears. It's often more a question, with me, of finding out what something is really like and not just going with my initial assumptions/ mental model. Once I've gotten a fair grounding usually I'm more confident. I think that with us NTs it's more a fear of being incompetent than really screwing up that stops us.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  3. #13
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    How do you gain confidence in your ability to do what needs to be done?

    Whether it is self-care, meeting new people, accomplishing tasks on a job, doing well enough in school, or something else...

    how do you gain the confidence in your ability to do it?
    Confidence is about setting and achieving goals. Think about that for a minute and it makes sense. By setting and achieving a goal, you are basically proving to yourself that you can do it, whatever that may be.

  4. #14
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    Write the goal down and take small incremental steps towards the goal. It takes time for your brain to adjust, but it will adjust over time. The brain is actually quite plastic in that it changes all the time. The brain you have now is different from the brain you had six months ago.

    I have been allergic to math for most of my life. A few years ago I decided I needed math and that it was just a confidence problem. So I started easing my way into it. I've done it for many other things, why not math? It initially seemed like a humongous daunting task and a little scary. But I said to myself, no damn it! I can do this. One thing about me is that I am a rebel. I routinely ignore the existing rules and make up my own mind about things. I knew my fear over math was a result of my having internalized other people insecurities. I took small steps initially. I started by reading the simplest math texts I could find, and progressively worked my way up to increasingly more complex topics. Now I love math! It is making sense, and it really is quite beautiful. Looking back I'm thinking, what they hell was I afraid of? The answer is that it was other people's fears I had internalized that I feared. Crowds can make you dumb! Do some of your own thinking.

  5. #15
    a white iris elfinchilde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    How do you gain confidence in your ability to do what needs to be done?

    Whether it is self-care, meeting new people, accomplishing tasks on a job, doing well enough in school, or something else...

    how do you gain the confidence in your ability to do it?
    I simply throw my hat over the fence, and with a 'what the heck' attitude, throw myself into the situation, being prepared to adapt to anything at anytime.

    Having enthusiasm and a positive, receptive attitude to the situation helps.

    In three words, "wing it, baby."

    Note: this is a serious response. Have realised that as INTPs, sometimes, we tend to consider too much: we overthink things and set impossibly high standards, thereby adding stress to self and taking away the pleasure of learning--which is crucial for an INTP to succeed, since we like systems very much.

    So the way out for me, is simply to heck it, and just do it. Have found that I learn better this way, and it's a refreshing change.
    You gave me hyacinths first a year ago;
    They called me the hyacinth girl.
    Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,
    Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not
    Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither
    Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,
    Looking into the heart of light, the silence.

    --T.S Eliot, The Wasteland

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