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  1. #21
    To the top of the world arcticangel02's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OctaviaCaesar View Post
    The no. 1 reason I wish that I were an extravert is that I don't think I would fear initiating speech and actions outside myself so much if I were extraverted. As it is, if I have to make a call to ask about the hours of a store, for example, I have to go over in my mind no less than three times, sometimes ten, exactly what I am going to say. Also, my so-called conversations with people involve having to internalize for a few seconds each thing they have said and plan my answer before answering it to make it come out right. It's beyond annoying.
    One thing I'd just like to point out - Extraversion is not synonymous with confidence, self-assurance, etc. You wouldn't suddenly not fear initiating speech if you were an extravert. :P

    I think the situation is more like this:

    Extraverted children and teenagers are normally so compelled to get out there and interact with people that they've naturally developed the confidence/outgoingness/whatever over time and practice. Being 'outgoing' is as much a skill as anything else, trust me. It requires practice, practice, a bit of failure and a lot of acting. And more practice. So by the time they're adults, they've embarrassed themselves enough times that nothing much phases them anymore. :P

    Introverts, on the other hand, having much less compulsion to go out and make a fool of themselves, sometimes miss out on getting over the embarrassment when they're very young and impervious to other people's opinions. So then it may get awkward in the teen / young adult years. Hence the (false) association between introversion and shyness.

    For the record, though, until recently I had to write down what I needed to ask the shop assistant over the phone before I called them. I needed it to center me and keep me focused, clear, and concise. Phones used to scare me. But then I got a job where answering the phone and dealing with people vocally only (not my preferred communication style!) was a major part, and so I got over it. I'm much better now.
    ANFP:
    Extraversion (52%) ---- Introversion (48%)
    Sensing (26%) ---- iNtuition (74%)
    Thinking (16%) ---- Feeling (84%)
    Judging (5%) ---- Perceiving (95%)

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  2. #22
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    well said arctic. I concur entirely My social skills were a long time in developing, not 'til my late 20's, and it's only in the last couple of years that I've become socially confident enough that I've had it said of me that I behave as though "the world is my bedroom" But even so, I still get nervous at times, and public speaking brings me out in hives (well, not literally, but damn near!)
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