"just bought Best Coast/Wavves tix! Gonna be a good night with good friends."
"At work and HUNGRY!!!!!!!"
"Just saw a ton of cop cars driving on a frozen pond...it was awesome!"
"...is constantly learning."
"It's nice to laugh off something that only recently concerned me deeply. One more step toward inner peace...?"
"☮ you say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one... maybe one day you'll join us, and the world will live as one. ☮"
"come to mellow triv! all the cool kids are doing it..."
"Dear Kenneth, stop trying to burn me down.
(Quoting someone else apparently):"Last week I cupped a fart and threw it in my grandmother's face"
"laptop screen has been dead for about 2 months... i replaced it, now there's something else wrong with it... greeeat lol =-/"
"In the Rockies now...yeahyeah!"
"Its much easier to become a father than to be one. "
"I don't sympathize cause you a simple bitch lol"
Ha. Some of these were pretty funny.