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Implications of the word "lifestyle"

Totenkindly

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When you hear someone's behavior/choices referred to as a "lifestyle," what connotations does that word seem to hold for you?

Do you think the word has positive or negative implications, and why?
 

nottaprettygal

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It always seems negative to me. I don't think I've ever heard it used without an up-turned nose and a somewhat disgusted tone.
 

Kiddo

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I think it's meant to be an indifferent way for expressing behavior/choices people don't agree with. Of course, the only time I ever hear people mention it is when it comes to the "gay lifestyle". To me it comes off as negative because you know the intent of the person using it is to say you aren't "normal" or "natural" like they are.
 

Hirsch63

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Its use does seem pejorative...usually used as an quasi-intellectual indicator of "otherness" to the accepted norm.

When I hear it from someone I am hearing it in a sense as a half-warning half-explanation or apology...Like "Oh, that's Fred he has a your choice lifestyle...but he's okay..."
 

Seanan

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When you hear someone's behavior/choices referred to as a "lifestyle," what connotations does that word seem to hold for you?

Do you think the word has positive or negative implications, and why?

I've never thought about how others use the term but I use it when I, in fact, wish not to infer any value judgement. Its meant to be a "neutral" statement of choice. I can see where some might take it as a negative one if saying, for instance, "drinking is not part of our lifestyle" but that interpretation lies with them. I could as easily say, "dancing is not part of our lifestyle" or "dancing is a big part of our lifestyle." So, it depends on the activity referred to I guess but, again, I don't intend it to be a value statement.
 

FDG

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I don't know about other people, however I tend to use it in a completely neutral way.
 

Totenkindly

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I've never thought about how others use the term but I use it when I, in fact, wish not to infer any value judgement. Its meant to be a "neutral" statement of choice. I can see where some might take it as a negative one if saying, for instance, "drinking is not part of our lifestyle" but that interpretation lies with them. I could as easily say, "dancing is not part of our lifestyle" or "dancing is a big part of our lifestyle." So, it depends on the activity referred to I guess but, again, I don't intend it to be a value statement.

Neat, thanks for offering an alterna... um, different point of view! :D

I had never really heard the term outside of application by religious folks to homosexuals and transgenders, but I have been immersed in conservative religious culture my entire life so I did not know how the phrase circulates outside of that subculture. So I will have to be on the lookout for more neutral uses of the phrase.

The things you mention seem to be separate activities -- and definitely expressions of choice rather than need or nature (i.e., you looked around until you found an activity you liked), so I guess then people who group their lives around a particular activity, sport, or even a religion/philosophy could be said to be living a "lifestyle."

I was just forced to consider it again when a family member used it to refer to me and my situation, and I found myself very bothered by it.

First, the word "alternate" automatically assumes that the speaker's choice of lifestyle should be the norm... and these other things are posers or replacements of some sort.

Second, it insinuates that a person looked around for something they enjoyed or believed in, then bought into it and have centered large parts of their life around it. Speaking as trans (but it carries over to homosexuals, probably), I didn't shop around for something "pleasing/pleasurable," nor did I just pick something from the Smorgasbord of Life as a thing for me to pursue because I happened to like it. It's just a hard reality of my life that this is where I am and what I'm dealing with. The life I want to live would be just as instinctive (rather than "chosen out of interest") as anyone's who is not in my situation. Which means it would be legitimate, rather than just a fancy.

Third, my life in every other respect isn't changing. There is no "alternate lifestyle." If all goes according to my wishes, my lifestyle would end up being indistinguishable from anyone else in my culture. I am not seeking for anything "alternate" at all.

And although I spend a lot of time thinking and talking about it at the moment (in the middle of the process), afterwards it's not like I want to immerse myself in parties, boat trips, pageants, and other things belonging to the trans subculture -- which, when taken to that extreme, might be a "lifestyle."

But then again, some religious faiths do the same thing and build up a lifestyle (not just morality, but what they do, who they associate with, what activities they pursue) around their beliefs.

Those are the three things I've thought of so far why it might not really be applicable.

In any case, the whole thing made me consider the potential uses and purpose of such a phrase -- why did it evolve, and what roles does it serve in discussion and human social politics?
 

Seanan

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In any case, the whole thing made me consider the potential uses and purpose of such a phrase -- why did it evolve, and what roles does it serve in discussion and human social politics?


I can so see where it would. I'm afraid I have a pretty simplistic view actually. (dangerous to admit I know) but from my "historical";) perspective its a phenomena of political correctness so prevalent today. I will use the example of "correctness" in racial definition. When I was young, Negro (with and "o") was the insisted upon word for PCness. Then it went to "black," then to African American and, now, some are offended if "African" is used, while others are offended if its not. I think people have seriously hardened their hearts to the point where they fail to look at the intent of the speaker.

Sure there are cases when "lifestyle" is used derogatorily but there are probably more cases when its not. I've been in situations, being recognizably by some AmInd, where "squaw" has been used against me derogatorily but, usually, that's not the intention. They just don't know its actual meaning which I'm privy to. I pay attention to "how" its being used in individual cases. If the person doesn't wish me harm, I try to stay open enough to see that and don't pick at their choice of words. Don't get me wrong.. I will call anyone out if I think they're actually name-calling but I don't jump the gun and end all communication as a result.

Edit: I've even been in situations where "introvert" has been used to call me something derogatory. :)
 

INTJMom

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I don't know about other people, however I tend to use it in a completely neutral way.
Me, too.

Lifestyle is a way of life as opposed to something you tried once or twice.

For instance, a healthy lifestyle might be one that includes eating fruits and vegetables on a weekly basis,
not just a couple of times a year. :devil:
 

Randomnity

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I've never heard lifestyle used other than by old and/or conservative people to refer to gays, drug addicts, pierced/tattooed kids, whatever the person thinks is deviant from the norm.

I can see how people might mean it in a neutral sense but I've never heard it used in that way around here....the notable exception being "healthy lifestyle" but that's pretty rare in everyday speech. Maybe all the other things that make up life aren't generally considered important enough to be a lifestyle?

I would tend to think of a lifestyle as being a significant part of someone's life, I guess. Like even though I wouldn't use the term, having a "gay lifestyle" implies to me someone that is heavily involved in the gay community, drag shows, pride parades, rallys etc....as opposed to someone who just happens to like members of their own sex. I don't know how common that interpretation is, but it's what the connotation is for me, more or less.
 

miss fortune

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:laugh: I'm from a pretty conservative religioius area, so I hear the word lifestyle thrown around a lot to describe people who's way of life is different than the speaker's in a manner in which they disapprove :dry: For instance- my grandmother saying "I just don't approve of the immoral lifestyles that today's college students live" or classmates saying "well, homosexuality is just a lifestyle" (implying that it's something that people choose and such).

It's more of the tone in which the term is spoken than the word itself I think- but there's definite associations and it's annoying :(
 

redacted

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lifestyle seems to have a negative connotation most of the time, and here's my theory about it.

people tend to make dispositional attributions for others and situational ones for themselves (the fundamental attribution error). eg: neither me nor my roomate cleaned up: i didn't do it because i was busy with homework, he didn't do it because he's a lazy pig.

there are 2 exceptions to the fundamental attribution error:
1) you do something awesome, and you explain it by a dispositional attribution about yourself (because it makes you feel better than just making a situational attribution)
2) someone else (that you don't like) does something awesome, and you explain it by a situational attribution.

given all this: if you're making a dispositional attribution about someone else, it's probably negative. (unless it benefits you somehow to think of them positively)
 

cafe

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Hmmm . . . this makes me want to go around talking about my 'lifestyle' maybe in a snooty tone. "Viewing professional wrestling competitions doesn't fit with my lifestyle. We're more into sci-fi at my house. harumph!"
 

Jae Rae

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Interesting thread.

"Lifestyle" can be used in a neutral way, as in "healthy lifestyle" but it's also used to put down disapproved ways of living. It's often used as shorthand for "those people are doing something I'd never do."

Jae Rae
 

The_Liquid_Laser

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When I hear the word "lifestyle" I think of a sticker I encountered in a bathroom when I was a freshman in college. It had an advertisement on it that read "Alternative Lifestyles For a catalogue of our products please send a correspondence to this address...." It stuck with me because the advertisement was vague, and I was interested because it used the word "alternative". After all I liked "alternative music", so I'd probably like this "alternative lifestyles" stuff. ;) I never sent in for a catalogue though, because I didn't have a pen on me, and I left the sticker in case the advertisement was more useful to someone who had an idea of what it was specifically talking about. :headphne:
 

zarc

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Jennifer said:
In any case, the whole thing made me consider the potential uses and purpose of such a phrase -- why did it evolve, and what roles does it serve in discussion and human social politics?

The phrase may have evolved but people have always been aware of different 'lifestyles' for thousands of years. The Romans live "this way and differently than we do", the Egyptians "this way and differently than we do". Sometimes, cultures (and subcultures) mix and they take from the other want they like. With religions, fashions, literature and so on.

Some people, nowadays or thenadays err, may not even be aware that the word lifestyle can be seen as derogatory. Perhaps they are very aware or aware of some but not others. I think it's largely an individual calling on how one perceives what's being said and if one is conscious enough in knowing that there might be ignorance, from the person mispercieving the word or deliberately doing so, in determinging if it'll affect them and how they might react to it if they choose to. Of course, this is also if the individual isn't ignorant of their own perceptions of the word or is aware there may be good differences from the other POV. Differences is fine, it's if one deems it a threat and how one chooses to respond to that perceived threat which can be both a good and bad thing.

There's no denying that terminology changes with its connotations changing or the mass perceptions of those words/terms changes as society changes to suit the new society's needs. It's now cool to say "that's so gay" even if the person isn't homophobic or the person is LGBT. So, they've clearly taken it out of it's original context to suit w/e agenda has been latched onto the word, ignorantly or believing it to be empowerment that there's freedom in the word (I largely feel it's ignorance). Later on, they may discard it for an ever more 'cool' word and it'll have never existed with those connotations in the new society's eyes.

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, Lifestyles of LGBT etc, shouldn't all be lumped or generalised but people mainly, out of ignorance, do so when viewing people who supposedly have the means or appear to look the same and that's a problem with connotations on lifestyle (or any word used for/against people/s, for that matter). That and the misunderstandings generated by fear of the unknown "lifestyle" (whether rich, poor, LGBT, Muslim etc) when people from one largely accepted "lifesytle" or have similarly accepted ones deliberatly spread hatred/fear in order to incite more hatred/fear of these 'other lifestyles'. Or even just to "casually" mock it. Or even those who may not fear or hate it but just misunderstand it or largely take their understanding from the ideas of others (media, friends etc) and adopt their own personal derivative of it. When those people, at least, come more into contact with various differences within that supposed "lifestyle" they are better able to comprehend that not everyone will act the same or believe the same. If this understanding translates into trying to understand other "lifestyles", then good for them. Don't think it happens much, IMO.

I can see potential use in being what we foresee it to hold or wish it to hold to make it more positive or negative or neutral. I can see the purpose as given to the word-weilder who molds that potential into w/e meaning they want to derive or inflict onto it, positive or negative or neutral. It'll keep evolving so long as people do not make the term, itself, archaic. Perhaps there'll be a new word created just for that new society in the future.
 

Mort Belfry

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It seems to be used by contrary people to describe somebody else, or used by somebody to describe themself in the face of contrary people.
 

Seanan

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Delirious... just want to say how much I enjoy your posts... you are wise beyond your years in my opinion and I hope you see that as a compliment.


I've stated how I use/view "lifestyle" but reading these posts, I hope you all will endulge an old grit. Has it, too, now become a "dirty" word among younger people today?

Words do change.. for instance, my generation started "cool" and, for a time, that was an "uncool" word to use as it screamed "old." Now, based on reading here, it has come back into vogue. So, if one chooses to be PC, is "lifestyle" now off limits? And, if it has become so, what would be a PC replacement for it? Thanks.
 

Totenkindly

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...Words do change.. for instance, my generation started "cool" and, for a time, that was an "uncool" word to use as it screamed "old." Now, based on reading here, it has come back into vogue. So, if one chooses to be PC, is "lifestyle" now off limits? And, if it has become so, what would be a PC replacement for it? Thanks.

I would love to hear this too, since I'm at the older edge of Gen X... and I am noticing a lot of changes in mentality and approach among late teens / young adults, let alone my younger children.

(I think the Internet/Electronic Age has had a LARGE impact on cultural mind, for one... as well as the different generation of parents for the younger kids versus my generation. I was raised by Boomers influenced by the 50/60's. They were raised in the 80's/90's.)
 

Ivy

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I think once they named a condom "Lifestyles," the word became irrevocably tainted with sexual undertones. :)

Seriously though, "lifestyle" isn't always a dirty word IMO. I think it probably depends on who says it, and the likelihood that they are communicating a judgment (or trying not to). If you wanted to be safe, you could say "way of life" or something of that nature, to avoid the possibility of a knee-jerk reaction to the word "lifestyle."
 
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