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Thread: Figuring out what you want out of life...

  1. #31
    Freaking Ratchet Array Rail Tracer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    they're not me

    I really don't WANT that much, when it all comes down to it... to be happy, that's really it

    I'm in the same situation as you. Been there, done that, and I'm younger then you >.<. People have been telling me that what I want to do will come in

    Probably the only thing I can tell you is to fight until you get that "sweet spot."

    Take my anecdote for example, I thought that it would be cool to be able to be a part of the process in making cartoons and video games (for kids, teens, etc. Would be cool to be able to help make a Disney/Pixar film and find that kids really love the film) based on my personal experiences with such. Not to mention I also love cartoons and video games. From there, I found a few choices. It was either art (there are a couple choices that also relate a bit with technology that I am getting into,) or technology (like Computer Science and programming.)

    Back then, I went the Computer Science route because I told myself that it was probably more reliable. A year later, found out it was ok, but I hated the fact that I was always extremely frustrated with programming. So now, I'm trying the art side of it to see if I can get a breakthrough. I did tend to like drawing more than I did programming. Found out that I can stay up all night getting a drawing right versus programming the whole night.

    You sort of... have to keep trying is really all I can say until you eventually find one that you are ok with. If you know people in the field, get their perspective, I was pushed by Computer Science professors that I might be more into the art side of making cartoons and video games and not the IT side of it. Who knows, the outcome may be completely different in a few years.

  2. #32
    Senior Member Array Synapse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007


    When people tell you it will come, that you will learn what you want given time then they are referring to that event that transpires between your experiences and your dreams of what it is that you are assigned or are in wanting to achieve. the closer you move towards that which you want to do the happier you will start to feel the further away you move from that which you enjoy the more stress accumulates in your life.

    and in that way we are bringing into awareness that what we want from our dreams when we were very young and that is why people say that it will happen give it time. because with time attitude changes, maturity and growth precipitate towards that aspect of your life, the calling that is tugging at you on a subconscious level towards that which you want to do in life.

    and that is like a puzzle piece on a board of many puzzle pieces. that when placed in accordance to your will you are putting a puzzle a year onto the puzzle board of your life towards that which becomes in sync to your awareness of being or rather becomes most influential, needed, wanted, desired, expected and decided upon having the best outcome and value in you life towards your dreams of what it is that you do want to do.

    This may start happening early in life, tomorrow or it might happen in your fifties who knows Whatever. Whatever it is that you are meant to be doing your spirit approved.

    Cryptic much. lol
    I have no idea and I'm older!

  3. #33
    pathwise dependent Array FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007


    You might want to start this way: think about a list of things you might like (not job-related) and you already have a "base experience" about - now, it could be a problem if you don't know what you like, but I'm not sure this is the case. Then, try to associate each one with a certain type of job, still keeping it fuzzy. Then, try to look at what's in high demand (relatively: I'm not saying you need to shoot for something high-income, but at least something which gives easy employability). The whole process is relatively simple, I'm not talking about a lengthy and detailed research.
    Anyway, when you've identified something you might like and you know it does have a decent level of demand, you could try to find a short course / training on the matter, obviously checking out that it does have a certain probability of landing you a related job. Something you need to pay attention to: avoid falling in love (figuratively) with the "idea" of doing something, it's more important that you know you will like the nitty-gritty everyday routine of your job.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  4. #34
    L'anima non dimora Array Donna Cecilia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I love food and cooking, I love the outdoors and I adore people... unfortunatly, I had to go to college instead of pursuing any of those things. And being unemployed isn't any fun
    If you knew the salary of chef working in a five-star hotel of a tourist hot spot, you'd surely change your mind.

    It's never too late to quit when you are in an unpleasant situation. The only good thing about being unemployed is the free time you have to pursue your interests. I wish I had some right now.

    I was in the same situation when I was 23, and I decided to make a career switch (from IT to Marketing). It wasn't easy at first, I had a strong discussion with my mother, who had been without talking to me for weeks after I told her; and some of my friends questioned me for a long time.

    Now, looking at where I am, I don't regret it at all, since I could prove everybody that I made the right decision.

    "An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise."
    Victor Hugo

    LII/INTj (Analyst) - 1w9 Sp/Sx - RC|O|EI - Melancholy/Choleric

  5. #35


    Hey there whatever!

    I seem to recall that for awhile you were toying with the idea of becoming an ESL tutor or helping immigrants with a path to citizenship or something like that. Is that idea or anything like it still on your radar?

    Quote Originally Posted by Donna Cecilia View Post
    It's never too late to quit when you are in an unpleasant situation.
    Good advice from DC.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  6. #36
    Senior Member Array guesswho's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    Will I end up like my dad, who at the age of 68 still doesn't know what he really wants with the exception of my mom?
    Interesting, I also fear ending up like my mom

    The questions you ask yourself have no immediate answer, it takes time to answer them.

    Make a journal with lists of stuff in order to define yourself, and what you want. That's the answer I got in cognitive behavioural therapy when I asked the same question
    What is constant in your life? What do you like and stays constant? What fulfills you? What did you want to be when you were growing up? etc.

    Apparently it worked.

    I have defined myself, and found a job, to which I aspire now.

  7. #37


    I'm not a natural decision maker, but sometimes I'll make a decision just so that I never have to make a decision in that area ever again.

    I spent a while agonizing over what I wanted out of life. I analysed the question so much that it essentially lost all meaning and I ended up having a rather crucial existential crisis. I managed to work my way out of it by, to make a long story short, deciding that if I couldn't decide what the purpose to my life was, then my purpose would be to:

    a. learn as much as I possibly can about the universe and
    b. to help out people as much as possible and work on being a genuinely compassionate human being

    And that's been it. If I ever start questioning my existence again or start going in those mental circles again, then I just go back to that decision. It's a huge load off my mind. I can move on to other things. And I've been way happier since I made that decision, because I can keep looking back to it if I ever realise "oh shit, I'm lost!" It's like a trusty, easy-to-read road map.

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