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  1. #31
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    I'd be curious what's considered excessive use and if the same amount of time spent reading books would also be considered excessive use.
    Yeah, and extreme reading always seems to get a free pass. But extreme internet use.... it's about porn, gambling, FarmVille, dating... "you need help!" which I guess is fair. But most of my internet time is spent reading and typing.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    Yeah, and extreme reading always seems to get a free pass. But extreme internet use.... it's about porn, gambling, FarmVille, dating... "you need help!" which I guess is fair. But most of my internet time is spent reading and typing.
    Yeah - I thought about this too. Before the Internet, I just walked around with my nose in a book (sometimes literally, walking with a book from room to room) and lived in my head anyway.

    It comes naturally to me to read, write, and discuss. I learn things all the time on-line from discussions with other people. I'm sure if the Internet is used that way it's actually good for your brain - you know, the way that people who do puzzles and read for pleasure tend to stave off things like dementia and alzheimer's longer in old age.

    This is a case of Ss judging Ns, or maybe Es judging Is.

    Most likely ESxx judging everyone else by their standard of normal.

  3. #33
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    I'd be curious what's considered excessive use and if the same amount of time spent reading books would also be considered excessive use.
    You sound like someone in denial.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    It kind of sucks though if you make friends and don't meet them or it's too long distance to meet enough. This applies to this site, but it's applied to me before elsewhere.

    It's kind of a "lousy investment" if you think about it. As cool as some people are.

    Hmm, I think I'm depressed now.
    I don't see it as a lousy investment at all. I learn from each person I interact with, some people have taught me so much. Plus, I meet a lot of the people that I really enjoy talking to on-line, and some of the people I talk to are my friends and family from IRL anyway.

    It doesn't depress me at all.

  5. #35
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Apparently you don't suffer from social anxiety yourself, and don't comprehend how crippling that can be for some people, especially if they have agoraphobia, and Internet socializing really can help people, and I stand by that statement.
    Part of my comment was drawn from my experience with my (fairly mild) social anxiety, but yes I'm not in the camp of people who can't leave the house. Still, it's been enough to seriously affect my life at times.

    I have improved dramatically when I've been forced to do activities that I fear, and letting me follow my fear and hide from people hasn't been productive. The biggest example is school presentations, which I was previously so afraid to do that I got zero every time we had to do it in high school because I refused. Now after forced and highly unpleasant practice with presentations, it doesn't cause nearly as much anxiety (I would say I'm nearly at the "normal" anxiety level now, which is a huge improvement for me).

    Another example is that after being forced to get a job by being threatened with being thrown out of the house, I got a job as a cashier which did directly reduce my anxiety with strangers, though it's still there even today (before that I was too afraid to submit an application because I didn't want to talk to a stranger there, despite really needing money and wanting a job). Before that I spent a LOT of time playing video games online and chatting with people there (I was a depressed and self-harming teenager at the time, actually, but that's not my point). I spent all my non-school hours chatting to people online and my social skills didn't improve at all as far as I could tell. It would be a little different for somewhere like here where "Fe" is a little more enforced, but still you're not going to fix the fear by avoiding it, even if you do learn things. Unfortunately mental disorders, and thinking like that, are very difficult to overcome by rational thought, no matter how educated it is.

    Anyway that's TMI about me all to say that I'm not completely talking out of my ass here (just mostly ), although I'd agree with you that severe social anxiety is different and is probably more difficult to treat with exposure therapy. Anti-anxiety meds are probably needed there at a bare minimum. We're talking about depressed people in this thread though, which isn't the same thing. Plenty of depressed people have no social anxiety problems, although certainly it's likely to make these problems worse.

    ---

    I agree with you that it's all about how it's used, although I'd stretch that more to "why" it's used. Spending hours a day, totally fine. Spending hours a day to escape your sad reality when your kids are crying and the stove is on fire and you haven't showered in three days and there's an inch of grime on the counter and you have three projects due at work, not so much.

    Can I just emphasize again that I'm not talking about large amounts of internet use intrinsically? You seem to be responding as if I meant that, but I would be a severe offender myself, in that case. I specifically mean using it addictively, to escape reality, like the OP sort of implies.
    -end of thread-

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    Part of my comment was drawn from my experience with my (fairly mild) social anxiety, but yes I'm not in the camp of people who can't leave the house. I have improved dramatically when I've been forced to do activities that I fear, and letting me follow my fear and hide from people hasn't been productive. The biggest example is school presentations, which I was previously so afraid to do that I got zero every time we had to do it in high school because I refused. Now after forced and highly unpleasant practice with presentations, it doesn't cause nearly as much anxiety (I would say I'm nearly at the "normal" anxiety level now, which is a huge improvement for me).

    Another example is that after being forced to get a job by being threatened with being thrown out of the house, I got a job as a cashier which did directly reduce my anxiety with strangers, though it's still there even today (before that I was too afraid to submit an application because I didn't want to talk to a stranger there, despite really needing money and wanting a job). Before that I spent a LOT of time playing video games online and chatting with people there (I was a depressed and self-harming teenager at the time, actually, but that's not my point). I spent all my non-school hours chatting to people online and my social skills didn't improve at all as far as I could tell. It would be a little different for somewhere like here where "Fe" is a little more enforced, but still you're not going to fix the fear by avoiding it, even if you do learn things. Unfortunately mental disorders and thinking like that is very difficult to overcome by rational thought, no matter how educated it is.
    Indeed. That's why I went to my therapist this very morning. But I will say that self-help is extremely beneficial and huge part of anyone's journey in overcoming issues or learning to live with illnesses or disorders.

    Anyway that's TMI about me all to say that I'm not completely talking out of my ass here (just mostly ), although I'd agree with you that severe social anxiety is different and is probably more difficult to treat with exposure therapy. Anti-anxiety meds are probably needed there at a bare minimum. We're talking about depressed people in this thread though, which isn't the same thing. Plenty of depressed people have no social anxiety problems, although certainly it's likely to make these problems worse.

    ---

    I agree with you that it's all about how it's used, although I'd stretch that more to "why" it's used. Spending hours a day, totally fine. Spending hours a day to escape your sad reality when your kids are crying and the stove is on fire and you haven't showered in three days and there's an inch of grime on the counter and you have three projects due at work, not so much.

    Can I just emphasize again that I'm not talking about large amounts of internet use intrinsically? You seem to be responding as if I meant that, but I would be a severe offender myself, in that case. I specifically mean using it addictively, to escape reality, like the OP describes.
    I totally agree with the bolded. I didn't even think of it terms of not bathing, your stove being on fire, etc...I guess it's like those messed up people who let their baby die because they were playing video games. So I do agree. I see your point.

  7. #37
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    Yeah, and extreme reading always seems to get a free pass. But extreme internet use.... it's about porn, gambling, FarmVille, dating... "you need help!" which I guess is fair. But most of my internet time is spent reading and typing.
    It does depend on how you use it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post
    You sound like someone in denial.
    Answer my question.

  8. #38
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    Answer my question.
    I heard when your palms get furry, it's time to take a break.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  9. #39
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post
    I heard when your palms get furry, it's time to take a break.
    *hides palms*

  10. #40
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    I see this as a chicken/egg issue. People who are intimidated by social situations are more likely to seek out social comfort online. So it may be better to say that people who are depressed spend more time on the internet.

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