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  1. #1
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    Default T's and Openness to Others

    Something that I have noticed on this forum is that some Ts are much more open/warm/trusting than others, some more social, etc and often this is explained away by extraversion or saying they are more balanced on T/F or were socialized to be emotional because of being female...

    But it appears sometimes that there are people who are using the Thinker banner to excuse away things that might actually be caused by not trusting people, being afraid to give and receive love, self-loathing, low self-esteem, or abusive behavior to others that is most likely caused by some emotional source, not just because they're being level and rational.

    I know there is a difference and that Thinkers are just more rational and decide with their head instead of their heart, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about "normal" intellectual detachment or being straight-forward instead of using flowery, emotional speech. I'm talking about people who are so distant or mean that I suspect it not because of being a Thinker.

    Thoughts?

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    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post

    But it appears sometimes that there are people who are using the Thinker banner to excuse away things that might actually be caused by not trusting people, being afraid to give and receive love, self-loathing, low self-esteem, or abusive behavior to others that is most likely caused by some emotional source, not just because they're being level and rational.
    Uh-oh....someone's on to me...

    Awkwardly enough, I was thinking about this recently as to whether I say I'm a T because I'd probably be a really crappy F that finds rational excuses to avoid a large portion of people, or that my way of rationalizing is being altered due to my extreme fears.

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    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    I think I know what you're saying, how some of them just seem pretty mean. I probably just don't engage with those people on here (and in RL, if I can help it).

    SCARY.


    (p.s. tawanda, I've never felt that way about you)
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

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    Supreme High Commander Andy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Something that I have noticed on this forum is that some Ts are much more open/warm/trusting than others, some more social, etc and often this is explained away by extraversion or saying they are more balanced on T/F or were socialized to be emotional because of being female...

    But it appears sometimes that there are people who are using the Thinker banner to excuse away things that might actually be caused by not trusting people, being afraid to give and receive love, self-loathing, low self-esteem, or abusive behavior to others that is most likely caused by some emotional source, not just because they're being level and rational.

    I know there is a difference and that Thinkers are just more rational and decide with their head instead of their heart, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about "normal" intellectual detachment or being straight-forward instead of using flowery, emotional speech. I'm talking about people who are so distant or mean that I suspect it not because of being a Thinker.

    Thoughts?
    It's often struck me that people frequently use function theory as a means of self justification rather than to expand their understanding. I think this is one more example of that.
    Don't make whine out of sour grapes.

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    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    The "nicer" Ts are usually the older ones and especially the older (than teens/20s or so) women. The real jerks are almost always immature teen/20s boys with a few girls thrown in. Haven't learned social skills yet (and/or don't care), I suspect, but that's not really an excuse. I see a similar thing with a few older Fs (they seem more level headed and rational)

    And yes, some use "T" as an excuse, just as others use "F" as an excuse (and the other letters).
    -end of thread-

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    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Something that I have noticed on this forum is that some Ts are much more open/warm/trusting than others, some more social
    But marm, these are feeler values. Isn't this similar to Thinkers saying, "Something that I have noticed on this forum is that some Fs are much more rational/objective/logical than others, some less needy, etc."?

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    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Yeah, I know what you mean. But you know, T's have just as much emotion, they just don't really like to deal with them because they don't hold any validity in their 'reasoning' universe. Some are more allergic to others. And due to things like sympathy and empathy and you know, human contact, they end up feeling emotions and it pisses them off if they haven't come to terms with their own. I think Feeling doesn't have to do so much work to deal with emotion, it doesn't (necessarily) need any rationalization to fit it in a frame work. Some T's frameworks are broken and haven't left any room for real, and their own, human illogicality.

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    Senior Member FakePlasticAlice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy View Post
    It's often struck me that people frequently use function theory as a means of self justification rather than to expand their understanding. I think this is one more example of that.
    I couldn't agree more. I say this because i've done this when i first discovered MBTI, my thoughts being something along the lines of "oh! so that's why i'm this way...well this is me, can't help it! mbti says so." But as i decided i was being, for lack of a better term, a moron.. i delved much further into MBTI, function theory and all that jazz (my knowledge base being nowhere near most people's on here). What i discovered were ways to better communicate with certain people in my life based on their type, causing me to be much more patient and understanding (especially with my ISTP). I have also, temporarily, labeled myself an unhealthy INFJ..i have a lot of work to do on myself, but being aware of the functions and how i use them, and also how to use them in order to be healthy and happy has opened up a huge opportunity for positive change in my life, which i am already seeing within my internal dialogue.
    While i am an F replying to this thread..i'm sure the exact same can be said for T's.
    "You can't take a picture of this...it's already gone."

    “But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”
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    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    The "nicer" Ts are usually the older ones and especially the older (than teens/20s or so) women. The real jerks are almost always immature teen/20s boys with a few girls thrown in. Haven't learned social skills yet (and/or don't care), I suspect, but that's not really an excuse. I see a similar thing with a few older Fs (they seem more level headed and rational)

    And yes, some use "T" as an excuse, just as others use "F" as an excuse (and the other letters).
    This. Although I'll qualify it with using 'experience' as a determining factor over age. I know some people who are older than me but are still stuck in how they perceive things to be and feel that everyone sees the world as they do, or should see it.

    I was actually having this discussion with him on Monday night, so it's interesting to come and read it in this thread.

  10. #10
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Oh yes, I didn't mean to imply that all older Ts/Fs/whatever are like that, by any stretch (not all the banned people have been younguns either), just that it's fairly rare to see in the younger ones, since many of them haven't developed adequate social skills yet (I count myself more in that category than not )
    -end of thread-

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