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  1. #41
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Do you find that you act differently around your parents and siblings than you do normally?
    Yes....well, I wouldn't say it is not normal, as I currently live with them, but I show a different side of my personality. I act differently than I do with non-family.

    - Is there a role that you seem to fill?
    In some ways, yes. My mom & older sister peg me as the non-sentimental, ornery, critical, moody one. My family thinks I am a bit cold and detached, but I don't think friends see me that way. Strangers often find me aloof though.

    I'm not sure what role this is - the bratty little sister?

    - How do you act differently than you normally do?

    I'm more romantic (I feel a need to hide these sentiments with family), non-critical, and easy-going with non-family. I seem "softer" with non-family. My sister complains I am hiding a mean streak in public. I'm just careful not to impose my bad moods on people I am not close to . I guess I expect my loved ones to take me 100% for who I am, the good and bad. I imagine if I ever live with non-blood family (ie. marriage or room mate), then they may see my other sides also. I guess I take people I live with for granted too much, and I take out my moods on them more. I also have higher standards for them, which is why I trust them.

    - Do you find that you exaggerate certain cognitive functions compared to normal?

    No. It's really just a different aspect of the same mindset.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  2. #42
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Do you find that you act differently around your parents and siblings than you do normally?
    Yes. To a degree.

    Is there a role that you seem to fill?
    Hmmm. I guess I'm the slightly silly, anti-social, sarcastic, cerebral, bohemian, space cadet. Does that count as a role?

    How do you act differently than you normally do?
    I supposed I more relaxed and more silly. I don't feel like I have anyone to impress or feel the pressure to meet some sort of societal obligation (although my ESTJ sister is often critical of me and my ways). That means I be around people but still am free to wander off (mentally or physically) whenever I want, express myself more openly, and do or rave on about the weird/uncool/anti-social/boring things that interest me without any major limitations. Basically its (more though not complete) freedom from constant judgement.

    Do you find that you exaggerate certain cognitive functions compared to normal?
    Yes Ne and Te are sometimes exaggerated.

    Why do you think this is so?
    God knows. I guess its to try and bridge to the differences between myself and my family members; presenting a more relatable version of myself perhaps.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  3. #43
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    I suppose I'd have to say that I do act differently around my family than I do normally. I regress. If you looked at it in typological terms, I'd have more outward Te showing, not as much F in play, and probably regress on the Enneagram level as well. My people skills don't exactly go to shit - but I'm not at my best. It's like you fall into patterns you had when you were younger. It's not like people hold back their feelings in my family and there is a bit of a crazy interpersonal dynamic going on. We are all very different. Also, I've had some level of success and it seems to impact how they behave towards me (except my mom - she doesn't care ). That feels quite odd and and disturbs me a bit.
    So, I just learned something. In a family, and I imagine with small groups of people with extended relationships in general, we grow to rely on a particular person who has strengths in a function. My family relied on me for Te. My mom probably owned the Ni slot. My dad was definitely the person people relied on for Fe. My sister is relied on for Si. So, by relying on the other people for particular function strengths, we make it unnecessary for us to deal with our shadow or inferior functions. It has benefits. It's why when we're younger, we are attracted to our functional opposite. In the long term, we do have to deal with those things and those parts of ourselves that we don't want to deal with or own however.

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  4. #44
    figsfiggyfigs
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    I'm almost a completely different person around my family. If its possible, I become even more introverted and cold. I talk less, and definitely wont voice out my opinions.
    I tend to keep to myself, just go along with the ride.

    The role I take: " the heartless rational one"

    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    i am at my best with my family, i think we have a great understanding
    on how to interact with one other. which is odd because it's like
    they all speak a different language, and i've always seen myself as the
    translator in the family. translating parent language to kid language.
    brother language to father language. mother language to sister language.
    stuff like that.

    i guess that's all i do. just translate
    ... but not get involved.
    i'm also the ... 'independent' one in the family. nobody really ever gets
    in my way and i don't get in theirs. it's a great understanding.

    so i dunno. i guess my role would be: freelance translator.

  5. #45
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    So, I just learned something. In a family, and I imagine with small groups of people with extended relationships in general, we grow to rely on a particular person who has strengths in a function. My family relied on me for Te. My mom probably owned the Ni slot. My dad was definitely the person people relied on for Fe. My sister is relied on for Si. So, by relying on the other people for particular function strengths, we make it unnecessary for us to deal with our shadow or inferior functions. It has benefits. It's why when we're younger, we are attracted to our functional opposite. In the long term, we do have to deal with those things and those parts of ourselves that we don't want to deal with or own however.
    Interesting observation.....My family thinks that I am uncaring and cold and detached, elitist even. They end up relying upon me for Te, strangely, as they are all FPs. Growing up was all about avoiding being emotionally manipulated.

  6. #46
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    I'm a tad nicer/more generous, because there's that feeling that comes with the holidays. It's really the only thing that changes, unless I'm around a large group of family that I don't see very often. I put on the nice voice and sort through life events to see what is pertinent to them, opposed to being my typical wise-ass self. I'm far quieter, actually, unless I've zoned in on a specific family member for a while.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
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