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  1. #11
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Situation 1
    1, 2 are more justifiable, but I don’t think I would really judge someone for 3 either.

    Situation 2
    Probably 1. I don’t know. I hate that kind of situation. I never know what is the right thing to do.

    Situation 3
    I wouldn’t do it anymore. Especially if they aren’t really whiny/demanding in general. I’ve had a couple roommates who have been pretty particular about things like temperature, touching bugs, and lots of things. So that actually started to get on my nerves a tiny bit, but even then, when they asked me to not burn stuff, I didn't.

    Situation 4
    No. I wouldn’t. It seems like a recipe for disaster.

    Situation 5
    It probably depends on if I’m in a rush or not. Usually I’ll put it back, but occasionally I’ll just tell the cashier I don’t want the item after all and they seem to be not that annoyed.

    Situation 6
    Pick it up and trash it. I think I had that kind of thing drilled into my head enough as a kid that I just feel wrong not doing it.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    These are some hypothetical situations I'm curious to see what people would do. I'd prefer you choose one option and explain why you choose it, but if no option fits what you would do or think, please give your alternative and why.

    Situation 1
    A friend of yours buys a new car. They say they bought it because:
    1. It's a hybrid, low emissions vehicle OR
    2. The price was a bargain and it gets good gas mileage OR
    3. A friend of their's has one just like it and they wanted one too.

    Are any of these answers more or less justifiable to you?
    Well people buy cars for a variety of reasons, so it's generally not much if any sweat off my back. That said, if your rationale for option 1 is to get something "good for the environment", then you should have bought a used efficiency. (I'll note that buying a new hybrid supports the production of more hybrids, but most people don't think that through.) I'd think the 3rd answer is kinda funny, but whatever. I've done that on other items.

    Really, I'd just think you're perhaps well meaning but slow if you choose option 1 for the "good for the environment" rationale. Otherwise, I don't care.

    Situation 2
    You have a friend who smokes indoors with their young children (under 10) living in the house with them. They've smoked since you've known them and are aware about the dangers of smoking, but you feel now that they have kids they should really try to quit. You:
    1. Say nothing. It's none of your business and they make their own choices.
    2. Occasionally OR frequently mention to the friend that it's not healthy to smoke and try to find ways to help them quit.
    3. Avoid coming to their house or being with them with their kids, so you don't have to see them smoking in front of their children.
    1 or 2. 1 because it isn't my business. 2 if I'm actually friends with them or it is truly blatant. 3 may be considered a minor act of cowardice.

    Situation 3
    You enjoy burning scented candles and incense because you find them relaxing and soothing. One day, your roommate comes to you and says they're sensitive to fragrances and asks you not to burn them. You can tell your roommate is nervous and looks uncomfortable while asking you. They have not made any previous requests of you and your relationship is good. What do you do?
    Put it out, or only use them when they are not around and give the smell time to vent.

    That said, (after a point, and if the quality of the relationship goes down) if there are many more requests to alter other aspects of my behavior that require me to work harder or take the enjoyment out of something, regardless of how nervous they look, I'll tell them no.

    Situation 4
    You're in college and find a scholarship that would greatly relieve your financial burden of paying for school. The only hitch is that you can be no more than a college freshman in order to be eligible. You are midway through the first semester of your sophomore year and know the current semester is not yet reflected on your transcript. The organization giving the scholarship will make a decision before your transcript is updated to reflect your sophomore status. This means only you know you don't technically qualify. Do you send in your application for the scholarship with a transcript reflecting you are still a college freshman? If you get the scholarship do you take the money?
    They'd find out. Don't get caught trying to mess with a scholarship program.

    But I'll play along and say...if you wouldn't get caught...what's a half a semester difference? If you were a junior, no.

    But I'd feel uneasy about it. Probably wouldn't do it.

    Situation 5
    You're at the grocery store and about to go to through check out. You realize you picked up more items than what you intended. Do you:
    1. Take all the extra items back to their original spots.
    2. Put them back on the shelves closest to you.
    I've done both. I tend to put them back.

    I understand the "they wouldn't have a job otherwise" argument, but it seems like irresponsibility and being an ass to just stuff things in random places. Same rules apply to clothing stores. I tend to view people who don't clean up their mess care as dolts. You wouldn't want someone doing that to you. They probably see everyone else the same way, because they can readily get away with it, or they are totally oblivious to those other mere mortals shuffling about.

    This is a case of "not what you eat but how you chew it." If you're not going to put stuff back, then give it to the cashier for easiest resorting.

    Situation 6
    You use a public restroom and wash and dry your hands. You throw the paper towel to the trash can but miss. You're in the bathroom alone. Do you:
    1. Pick it up and trash it
    2. Leave w/o picking it up
    Pick it up. I'm sure I've left it (and committed other minor acts of littering) but I can't remember any instances. Similar rationale as last question.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  3. #13
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Situation 1
    It's their choice, including reasons why and since they've already bought the car, my opinion would be extraneous. Had they asked me prior to purchasing the car, I would have made suggestions about which cars to buy, depending on what they're looking for.

    Situation 2
    Don't have any friends who smoke indoors around their children, although I do have smoker friends who smoke outside. And if they were close friends, I'd suggest they smoke outside. Beyond that, it's their choice to smoke or not. Not interested in parenting my friends.

    Situation 3
    Based on how you've explained their approach, I'd stop. Scented candles and incense aren't a necessity in my life enough to warrant bothering someone else over it.

    Situation 4
    No. Not worth the guilt and potential hassle if caught.

    Situation 5
    No, I would leave the unwanted goods with the cashier.

    Situation 6
    In the trash it goes, no matter how much of a hurry I was in.

  4. #14
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    1. I wouldn't care, though I'd find the third response a bit odd and perhaps indicative of a need to be wanted or appreciated by others too much.

    2. I don't worry about it, but if they wonder to me why their kids are always sick, I tell them it may have something to do with the air quality in their house, you dumb shits.

    3. I try to burn them when they're not around. If it's a huge issue I'd find somewhere else to live.

    4. I apply and take the money if I get it.

    5. Leave them at check out.

    6. I pick it up.

    7. I like the number 7.



  5. #15
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Situation 1
    A friend of yours buys a new car. They say they bought it because:
    1. It's a hybrid, low emissions vehicle OR
    2. The price was a bargain and it gets good gas mileage OR
    3. A friend of their's has one just like it and they wanted one too.

    Are any of these answers more or less justifiable to you?
    All of these are good answers, but the last option I'd probably probe more, wanting to understand why they wanted one too. Hopefully it's not simply because their friend got it.



    Situation 2
    You have a friend who smokes indoors with their young children (under 10) living in the house with them. They've smoked since you've known them and are aware about the dangers of smoking, but you feel now that they have kids they should really try to quit. You:
    1. Say nothing. It's none of your business and they make their own choices.
    2. Occasionally OR frequently mention to the friend that it's not healthy to smoke and try to find ways to help them quit.
    3. Avoid coming to their house or being with them with their kids, so you don't have to see them smoking in front of their children.
    Depending on the level of the friendship would determine what I say. Ultimately it's their decision, so hopefully they make the one that ensures the health and safety of the youngins. If they choose to smoke, I would choose to not be at their house, because it would bother me; maybe I might avoid them altogether. Personally, smoking in front of kids bothers me.

    Situation 3
    You enjoy burning scented candles and incense because you find them relaxing and soothing. One day, your roommate comes to you and says they're sensitive to fragrances and asks you not to burn them. You can tell your roommate is nervous and looks uncomfortable while asking you. They have not made any previous requests of you and your relationship is good. What do you do?
    I'd stop burning them. If we get along well, and it's just one way to relax, I'd find something else.


    Situation 4
    You're in college and find a scholarship that would greatly relieve your financial burden of paying for school. The only hitch is that you can be no more than a college freshman in order to be eligible. You are midway through the first semester of your sophomore year and know the current semester is not yet reflected on your transcript. The organization giving the scholarship will make a decision before your transcript is updated to reflect your sophomore status. This means only you know you don't technically qualify. Do you send in your application for the scholarship with a transcript reflecting you are still a college freshman? If you get the scholarship do you take the money?
    No I would not do it.

    Situation 5
    You're at the grocery store and about to go to through check out. You realize you picked up more items than what you intended. Do you:
    1. Take all the extra items back to their original spots.
    2. Put them back on the shelves closest to you.
    Put them on the shelves, or let the cashier know I'm not going to get them, and have an employee put them back. They're paid to assist the shopper. That's like folding the shirt at the mall thing. I can't ever replicate their folds, so I just let it be. LOL

    Situation 6
    You use a public restroom and wash and dry your hands. You throw the paper towel to the trash can but miss. You're in the bathroom alone. Do you:
    1. Pick it up and trash it
    2. Leave w/o picking it up
    [/QUOTE]

    Depends on how scuzzy the bathroom is. If it goes behind the basket- no.

  6. #16
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    1) option #2 The price was a bargain and it gets good gas mileage

    2) option #1 Say nothing. It's none of your business and they make their own choices.

    3) Honor their request.

    4) Don't apply for the scholarship.

    5) option #1 Take all the extra items back to their original spots.

    6) option #1 Pick it up and trash it.

  7. #17
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    1. Number 2 is the reason I would buy a new car (number 1 too, if I could afford it, but I can't), but as for why a friend buys a car, I don't give a damn. I think number 3 is a dumb reason to buy a certain car, but they're the one who has to like the car, so if they like it, it's fine with me.
    2. This would never happen in my group of friends, as all of the former smokers have already quit, or already smoke outside so as not to endanger the kids' health. If it did happen though, I would probably say something. If they want to endanger their own health, that's their choice, but it's a different story with the kids.
    3. I stop burning the candles.
    4. Don't apply.
    5. Probably just put them back on the shelf by me, unless they need to be refrigerated.
    6. Usually I pick it up.
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

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  8. #18
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Situation 1: #2 The price was a bargain and it gets good gas mileage
    The option resonates the most with my own values and reasoning behind buying a certain vehicle. I would accept option #1, as well, but there are certain stereotypical vibes from certain people who would use that as their reasoning that I tend to ease away from.

    Situation 2: #2/3 Occasionally OR frequently mention/try to find ways to help them quit. & Avoid coming to their house or being with them with their kids
    I wouldn't expect them to quit, but I would advise they not smoke around their children. If it persisted, it would be an issue for me to be around. I may despise children with a seething passion, but I more so despise parents who decided to pop them out and neglect 'parenting' well enough providing their choice.

    Situation 3: Refrain from burning them, while trying to reach a compromise.
    I would assess if burning them in another part of the house still bothered the roommate. If there was a time where the roommate would not be home and the area could be aired out prior to their arrival. If the roommate could make an exception every now and then. Etc. If it bothered them that severely, then I would halt the process alltogether.

    Situation 4: Depends on the consequence, if any.
    If there were any large consequences, I likely wouldn't bother. This also depends on how clearly stated it is that only the freshman can apply. I would probably attempt it, but then resort to honesty if anyone inquired about it if all they would do is deny me inevitably.

    Situation 5: #1 Take all the extra items back to their original spots.
    If there was time, I would definitely take them back. There are certain places where I'll exclaim 'this is why they have employees', but there are also many times where I feel one shouldn't make the employee's job more of a hassle.
    Otherwise, I would bring them to the checkout specifically and inform the cashier that I wouldn't be taking those items, while apologizing for the inconvenience.

    Situation 6: #1 Pick it up and trash it
    It's just common courtesy if it can be helped. I'm no saint and have definitely left things when I should have picked them up and I do litter every now and then. No one is perfect, but having the decency the majority of the time makes a person feel better themselves and allows others to feel better about not having such a mess to look at/clean/feel bad over.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
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  9. #19
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Situation 1
    A friend of yours buys a new car. They say they bought it because:
    1. It's a hybrid, low emissions vehicle OR
    2. The price was a bargain and it gets good gas mileage OR
    3. A friend of their's has one just like it and they wanted one too.

    Are any of these answers more or less justifiable to you?

    The first two would convince more to want to get that car than the last one. The last one is just a matter of personal preference. It doesn't mean I'd want it.

    Situation 2
    You have a friend who smokes indoors with their young children (under 10) living in the house with them. They've smoked since you've known them and are aware about the dangers of smoking, but you feel now that they have kids they should really try to quit. You:
    1. Say nothing. It's none of your business and they make their own choices.
    2. Occasionally OR frequently mention to the friend that it's not healthy to smoke and try to find ways to help them quit.
    3. Avoid coming to their house or being with them with their kids, so you don't have to see them smoking in front of their children.


    I'd go with the second one. I really hate intervening but I care about my friend and their kids. Secondhand smoke can have dangerous effects. I would feel its my duty to make my friend aware of that.

    Situation 3
    You enjoy burning scented candles and incense because you find them relaxing and soothing. One day, your roommate comes to you and says they're sensitive to fragrances and asks you not to burn them. You can tell your roommate is nervous and looks uncomfortable while asking you. They have not made any previous requests of you and your relationship is good. What do you do?

    I'd stop burning the candles in my roomate's presence. My relationship with my roommate is more important than some candles. Some people have serious allergic reactions to fragrances. I try to be considerate of that.

    Situation 4
    You're in college and find a scholarship that would greatly relieve your financial burden of paying for school. The only hitch is that you can be no more than a college freshman in order to be eligible. You are midway through the first semester of your sophomore year and know the current semester is not yet reflected on your transcript. The organization giving the scholarship will make a decision before your transcript is updated to reflect your sophomore status. This means only you know you don't technically qualify. Do you send in your application for the scholarship with a transcript reflecting you are still a college freshman? If you get the scholarship do you take the money?

    Yeah, I'd send in the application and act like I didn't know any better. If I got the scholarship, I'd take the money. Not the most ethical but college is so damn expensive.

    Situation 5
    You're at the grocery store and about to go to through check out. You realize you picked up more items than what you intended. Do you:
    1. Take all the extra items back to their original spots.
    2. Put them back on the shelves closest to you.


    If the original spots were near by and I could be guaranteed I wouldn't lose my place in line, I'd do that. Otherwise, I'd just mention it when I was ready to check out and let the cashier take care of the unwanted items.

    Situation 6
    You use a public restroom and wash and dry your hands. You throw the paper towel to the trash can but miss. You're in the bathroom alone. Do you:
    1. Pick it up and trash it
    2. Leave w/o picking it up
    [/QUOTE]

    I'd pick it up and put it back in the trash can. If the trash can was already overflowing, I'd probably just leave it on the floor.
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  10. #20
    Reason vs Being ragashree's Avatar
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    1) I really don't care why they bought their car, it's their own decision. 3, however, might hint at the kind of shallow, easily influenced qualities I probably wouldn't be looking to see in a friend.

    2) I'm not normally a rabid anti smoking campaigner despite my general dislike of the practice and the fact that too much smoke around can make me feel nauseous, but I have been known to tell people off for smoking around kids. They can make what decisions they like about their own health *and so can I if I happen to be in their company* but don't so far as I'm concerned have the right to endanger their non-consenting kids in that way; it's inconsiderate and selfish. My little sister's older kid was in hospital early last year with a serious case of pneumonia, and a week later she was happily sitting on the living room couch, filling the air with smoke while the kid played just feet away, because she couldn't be bothered to go out and shiver in the nasty winter cold to do it, or maybe had an exceptionally important program to watch on TV. I had quite a lot to say to her about this...

    2, then in some circumstances; but if it was a case of merely having a bit of smoke floating on the air it's not something to make an issue out of just because I/the kid might catch a distant whiff. I'm more interested in protecting those who are not able to protect themselves when there is actually a meaningful level of risk than in imposing my own view on others for ideological reasons...

    3) Depends whether it was in my private space or communal space. If in my own I would tell them to get knotted. If they countered with "but I smell it every time I go past your room" I would respectfully suggest that in that case they stand and inhale the air somewhere they find more congenial instead of looking to make trouble. A space that was used communally is somewhere not to make too unpleasant for others as far as I'm concerned.

    However, I had the situation some time ago where someone was complaining *not in the polite or shy way outlined!* about me doing just this thing in communal space, and the "disgusting stench" thereby created. I suggested that I found it a lot more pleasant than the disgusting personal stench he insisted on creating in said space with his own revolting habits, and if he was going to insist on his right to continue stinking there, because it didn't bother HIM, I was certainly intending to continue purifying the space to make it more bearable for myself. Heh.

    4) Probably think "Oh, pity, that doesn't apply to me!".

    5) If I'd got as far as the checkout I'd either buy it or (if I really really didn't want another) say to checkout person "Oh, sorry, I don't need this one" and give it to them to put aside until someone can take back. If the place where the item belonged was close by I'd probably just take it back myself, depending on how busy supermarket was and how many items were being bought.

    6) Depends. Probably pick up, but if it was one of those places that was filthy already I wouldn't want extra floor germs to go with the ones already on my shoes...
    Look into my avatar. Look deep into my avatar...

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