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  1. #1
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Default Emotional maturity & emotional intelligence - do you want them, or not?

    Nowadays I act in a really much less emotionally intelligent way than I used to. I have surely lost much of my love for the fellow humans, and much of my innocence about human behavior in general.

    I've become a bit of an isolationist in emotional matters. I feel that everyone should just keep to themselves. I find just asking myself, what's the deal with this emotional sharing thing? Does this emotionally intelligent - or emotionally mature - way of dealing with things really resonate with what I want? Much of the time, my answer is NO.

    I mostly feel that all this emotionally intelligent stuff is comparable to some expensive hobby that only the rich can afford. Emotionally intelligent behavior needs investment in time, investment in mind, and what you get back? Some emotional niceties that I don't have time for. My #1 concern right now is money.

    When I answer some Emotional IQ tests truthfully according to what I really do in real life, my score is around 100, mostly because of neglecting others and not being supportive of them. I'm no caretaker. This score used to be about 130-140 many years ago.

    Enough about me, what's your take on emotional maturity and emotional intelligence? They are different, although I've talked about both in here.

    Are there any aspects of "emotionally intelligent" behavior that you are not fond of?
    Edit: and some that you like / respect?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #2
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Santtu View Post
    Enough about me, what's your take on emotional maturity and emotional intelligence? They are different, although I've talked about both in here.

    Are there any aspects of "emotionally intelligent" behavior that you are not fond of?
    Edit: and some that you like / respect?
    In another thread I said that given the choice I'd take IQ over EQ but that doesn't mean I value EQ. I do. The parts of it that I like/respect:
    *Being resilient after setbacks
    *Empathy and compassion for others
    *Being aware of your own feelings and values. Knowing what you truly want for yourself


    Parts of it that I don't like:
    *I suppose being overly aware of your emotions could be burdensome. Sometimes you have to set aside your feelings to be more receptive to the current moment.
    *I want to understand what others are feeling but I don't wish to feel what they feel. I'd find that emotionally draining.
    *Sometimes it's not always good to take setbacks too much in stride and act unaffected because acting out could be inappropriate. If you perceive some injustice, stand up to it. Sometimes its best not to take "no" as an answer.
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  3. #3
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    I find focusing overmuch on anyone's emotions (mine or others') is confusing and not very productive. If someone I know is upset, for instance, it makes more sense to focus on why he is upset, so we can try to fix things.

  4. #4
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    Yes, I definitely do but it's because I've had to bear witness to such complete disasters of selfishness and borderline sociopathic behavior that it behooves me to better myself, lest I end up like the people I have judged in my youth.

    I had much less emotional self-control as a younger person, I think, for various reasons, and I find it an enormous relief to be able to step back from my own feelings and realize when I might be intruding upon or harming others, or going around "inflicting myself" on people. It's really swell to be able to "handle" people in my day to day life, even people who annoy me...or worse, even creep me out or anger me, without upsetting anyone or messing things up because of showing hostility or impatience. It helps to be able to step back and question why other people do what they do.

    I think it's in my own highest best interest to make things go smoothly socially because I have to live with people, like it or not, and I'm the sort of person who needs relationships in my life, and I have ethics about avoiding needlessly hurting others, especially IRL.

  5. #5
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Santtu View Post
    Nowadays I act in a really much less emotionally intelligent way than I used to. I have surely lost much of my love for the fellow humans, and much of my innocence about human behavior in general.

    I've become a bit of an isolationist in emotional matters. I feel that everyone should just keep to themselves. I find just asking myself, what's the deal with this emotional sharing thing? Does this emotionally intelligent - or emotionally mature - way of dealing with things really resonate with what I want? Much of the time, my answer is NO.

    I mostly feel that all this emotionally intelligent stuff is comparable to some expensive hobby that only the rich can afford. Emotionally intelligent behavior needs investment in time, investment in mind, and what you get back? Some emotional niceties that I don't have time for. My #1 concern right now is money.

    When I answer some Emotional IQ tests truthfully according to what I really do in real life, my score is around 100, mostly because of neglecting others and not being supportive of them. I'm no caretaker. This score used to be about 130-140 many years ago.

    Enough about me, what's your take on emotional maturity and emotional intelligence? They are different, although I've talked about both in here.

    Are there any aspects of "emotionally intelligent" behavior that you are not fond of?
    Edit: and some that you like / respect?

    It is the other way around.
    Like breeds like.
    Emotional intelligence is a property of the poor.
    If it were not so, poverty would not exist.

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