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Group Bullying

Mole

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Group bullying remained a secret until Rachel Simmons wrote one of the first books called, "Odd Girl Out: the Hidden Culture of Aggression In Girls".

Since then many other books have followed along with movies, talk shows and seminars. Even our Education Department has a programme directed against group bullying in schools.

However group bullying meets a deep emotional need so group bullying has been transferred from the school to the internet.

And group bullying has been so successful on the internet, it has caused a number of high profile suicides.

And group bullying has been so successful on the internet because it meets deep emotional needs such as the need to belong, the need to scapegoat the different, and the need to express ressentiment in way that is safe for the individual.

One of the problems is that group bullies don't think of themselves as bullies, they feel what they are doing is right and just, right to the suicide of their victim. It is a kind of lynch mob mentality. "The Madness of Crowds", was written in 1932 and crowds haven't changed their minds since then.

It takes moral courage to oppose the madness of crowds and we have the opportunity to show moral courage and oppose the group bullying on Central.
 

slowriot

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I like the decree, but how can one change the mentality?
 

Schaph

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point being? or just fyi?

btw, is there such thing as non-group/one-on-one bullying? Maybe there's only one person physically manhandling the bullied, but doesn't every bully come with a posse?
 

Nicodemus

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To understand 'the different', many people feel the need to talk about it. Such talk is not necessarily group bullying. You can come to the place of the talking and help them understand, Victor.
 

Qlip

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I never bought into that whole Internet bullying stuff. Most of the time the idea is perpetuated by being being oversensitive and or antagonistic and unable to deal with the consequences. This is what I'm seeing with you, Victor. Actual bullying and actual virtual bullying (virtual = almost but not quite real) is something a person needs to learn to deal with themselves because, frankly, life sucks and it'll suck more if you don't learn how to not make yourself a target. Welcome to the jungle.
 

Jaguar

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Group bullying remained a secret until Rachel Simmons wrote one of the first books called, "Odd Girl Out: the Hidden Culture of Aggression In Girls". [...] It takes moral courage to oppose the madness of crowds and we have the opportunity to show moral courage and oppose the group bullying on Central.

You are duping your own thread about group bullying, Victor. You cited the same book in this bullying thread, as you did in your other bullying thread - "Odd Girl Out - The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls", by Rachel Simmons.


Old thread is here:
The Psychology of Group Bullying.
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/other-psychology-topics/21736-psychology-group-bullying.html

Original Post from old bullying thread:

To understand what is going on here it is important to read, "Odd Girl Out - The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls", by Rachel Simmons.

In it you will find group bullying laid out, from seemingly random personal attacks to attacks by the whole group. And when the victim complains, they are accused of 'venting'.

Male bulling is fairly easy to stop - all you have to do is to stand up to the bully. But if you stand up to group bullying, it only makes it worse.

And this is what I have found here - the more I complain, the worse it gets.
 

Aquarelle

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I think there are some who are bullying you, Victor, but not everyone is. That does sound like an interesting book, though. Might have to pick it up when I have some free time.
 

InvisibleJim

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It's the internet, everyone wants a pop at anyone who likes like they are on the losing end of a battle. Especially when the self reinforcing agenda setting circle'o'friends agree on what they think of someone.
 

Queen Kat

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How strange. I really dislike the crowd and I only like people who are different.

But yes, I've noticed this too. Both in the real world and on the internet. I remember hesitating a bit when I just was a new member of TypoC, because I had this feeling that other members were unfriendly towards me. I still think they were. Anyways, it's nearly two years later and now I think I finally became a part of this thing, however I'm never being mentionned in certain threads (like in "Post a song dedicated to another member" or "Post pictures that symbolize other members" or "TypoC Storyline" or whatever their names may be) and in that case I can never really be a part of this place. So I'll always be different. And the different are more fun. YAY! :D
 

Spamtar

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Since physical threat is generally off the table, then luckily internet bullying is usually only verbal/written.

Also there is a counter balance on freedom of speech and free flow of ideas.

However, if one takes on the task of supporting an unorthodox idea or presents their character in an unorthodox manner some flax is reasonable. It is similar to a limited public figure. A limited purpose public figure, meaning those who have "thrust themselves to the forefront of particular public controversies in order to influence the resolution of the issues involved."

So when a person takes on this type of role they should expect a bit more criticism.

That being said, this type of person nevertheless does deserve basic dignity and manners.

Best approach is for such a person to modify their presentation or otherwise make a case to authority to weed out unfair treatment when "unclean hands" are not involved. Preferably this would be a diary or journal showing methodical bullying modus operandi over a period of time rather than bugging authority for each individual instance or making repetitive threads.
 

Mole

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How strange. I really dislike the crowd and I only like people who are different.

You know, I have noticed you only like people who are different, and I have been hoping you would notice I am different and so like me too.
 

Mole

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Original Thinkers

You are duping your own thread about group bullying, Victor. You cited the same book in this bullying thread, as you did in your other bullying thread - "Odd Girl Out - The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls", by Rachel Simmons.

My point is that, "Odd Girl Out", is a seminal work, the beginning of a whole line of books and research papers that have reached the public through movies, talk shows and seminars.

I mention Rachel Simmons in the same breath as Socrates, Sigmund Freud or Marshall McLuhan, in the sense that all are original thinkers.

Each one has opened a new door for thought. And I am suggesting we open the door.
 

Mole

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Surviving and Thriving, the Jungle and Civilization

...life sucks and it'll suck more if you don't learn how to not make yourself a target. Welcome to the jungle.

Yes, life sucks when we are only surviving, but when we are thriving, life is rich and fulfilling, full of springing delight and poetic magic.

Welcome to civilization.
 

Mole

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Since physical threat is generally off the table, then luckily internet bullying is usually only verbal/written.

Rachel Simmons says that group bullying is primarily emotional. And she says that group bullying is hidden and operates beneath the radar. And she goes on to say that group bullying is eminently deniable.

Rachel Simmons says that group bullying is immediately emotionally painful and does long term emotional damage. And if the victim complains, the bullying only gets worse.
 

Qlip

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Yes, life sucks when we are only surviving, but when we are thriving, life is rich and fulfilling, full of springing delight and poetic magic.

Welcome to civilization.

You're ideals are lovely, and they are true. When we get our needs met, we can thrive. In order to eat, though, we don't starve in lieu of learning to go to the grocery store. Nor can we call it murder if our mother won't go shopping for us. Bullying is an assertion of a pecking order, it's an old old dance, and it has forms to follow.

I get the impression that you are older than me, and should have life experiences. I live in supposed civilization and have always had to stand up to what you would call bullying as a kid and in my adult life. I still occasionally have to push someone off who's being agressive at a concert, have words with someone at work who's targeting me, or just ignore someone who's typing discouraging things.

I'm thriving because I have ways of defending my body and my psyche from others.

You seem to live in a much scarier jungle than I do, my monkeys and hanging vines are your panthers and boa constrictors.
 
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Ginkgo

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Are we going to turn this into VictorCentral yet or what? Stop half-assing it, guys.
 

Siúil a Rúin

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Good OP. Group bullying has much to do with cowardice. For some reason I don't see it here as much, but my involvement is somewhat sporadic. When I have seen it on the internet or IRL I lose respect for the participants. Sometimes it's people who seem capable of being rational, strong, or even brave and then I see them group think with cowardice, and as you mentioned, a tremendous amount of self-righteousness. I know it's just people being people, but the times I've had some concern about the target have suicidal thoughts from having communicated one-on-one, I have taken the bully leader on, but that also doesn't seem to fix it. Bully leaders tend to create an image of toughness, but they confuse the idea of making everyone else have to be tough in their presence with the actual ability to be tough and take what they dish out. In most cases they are like a toddler who bites everyone, but who cries with such sensitivity when told, "stop".

There's a lot I don't know about people, but when I see social aggression, I see straight through to their core to all their weakness and fears and dull comprehension. Just when they think they have their best armor on, they don't realize it is completely see-through. Once someone group bullies (especially if the target seems "off" somehow), they no longer seem trustworthy or rational, but rather invested in their own personal distortions.

I would be curious to know the most effective strategies to make it stop when encountered. That part is complex because the role of the person stopping it makes an important impact - whether you are insider or outsider. It would be fantastic to have a whole arsenal of techniques to take on this problem. Undermining their constructed justification might be one approach. I've heard it described as "the only logical way to fix a problem", to "the right thing to do", "it's God's will", or some other moral justification. I have thought to say that with thousands of years of human civilization and millions of scenarios of conflict resolution, there is in all probability more than one approach to solve a given problem. Of course the actual bully isn't looking for the best resolution, but rather to indulge a social need. If the rejection of alternative solutions is not based on a personalized need to bully, then that implies the bully is simply not smart enough to see more than one solution.
 
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