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  1. #1
    ThatGirl
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    Default Punching yourself in the hypothetical balls.

    Okay, so I just observed something about myself.

    I may AT TIMES run toward unrealistic goals. Though I never think they are unrealistic. Actually, I think, if someone has done it, so can I.

    Every now and then, I realize the best thing to do is stop. Accept defeat on one level because that maximizes the greater productivity on another. (See thread, why can't I just stay down).

    I get this logic, though at the same time, it feels like I am losing the utility of the original goal. Ultimately, I see it as failure, even if I know I am doing the right thing in the long run. I hate to be defeated. I start kicking myself.

    I guess I am wondering, how you give up? I get the goal is still the same. But as I measure skill by efficiency, it makes me feel like shit, I didn't get it right the first time.

    ....If that makes any sense?

    Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Chunes's Avatar
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    Actions which are seen as failures are rarely purely failures. Buckminster Fuller described his term 'precession' which means the unintended consequences of any action. All actions produce some effect that we could never have foreseen beforehand, and often they lead toward somewhere good. Maybe alter your perspective and think about how precession might have emerged from your actions. The fact that you're out there striving enough to create many of these forces which may well end up acting in concert and guiding you toward your potential places you firmly among the upper tier of achievers.
    "If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see."
    Thoreau

  3. #3
    ThatGirl
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    Nice message, thanks.

    Upon further evaluation today I have decided that this punch yourself in the balls pattern comes from a combination of the following attitudes:


    You would have to pry my goals from my cold dead hands. I put more force into my ideal outcome than accept a lesser (more time consuming) path. Like the captain going down with the ship, refusing to jump.

    Super 8, if I feel like I am being coerced to a specific outcome I will drop all goals relating to someones external motives. This to show I cannot be used, controlled, or anyones bitch, and that nothing is sacred enough to have influence over me.

    Thinking I can will my body into doing things it refuses to. Like operating optimaly (mentally) off 4 hours of sleep.

    Thinking I am already behind the game, so I need to push twice as hard as others to maintain an equal position.

    Massive frustration at ANYTHING that goes wrong, or even not as smoothly as it could.

    Anyway, yeah emo post. But if anyone has ever experienced or relates to any of these set backs, I would be curious as to any tips they used to overcome them while remaining consistently productive.

  4. #4
    Hate
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    I have thoughts I can offer about prevention from punching myself in the literal balls.

    Would that still be sufficient?

  5. #5
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    I can offer advice on how to punch someone in their balls and make it hurt a lot.

  6. #6
    ThatGirl
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    I am actually surprised no one could relate to these attitudes.....Interesting.

  7. #7
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    I found the situation in your OP a bit too abstract to reply in any definite form. I understand the concept of backtracking; I've spent the last 6 months coding an efficient backtracking algorithm for a certain problem.

    I just wondered on what level you do your backtracking. What redefinition of goals is there, etc.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #8
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    We thrive on goals. This is fact. Attaining the unattainable is a rush. But what's the cost/benefit to the goal beyond momentary satisfaction?

    Also, when you perceive life as a win-lose, it's self-defeating. As a consideration, perceive life as a learning experience. Okay, I did it or okay, no go. What did I do or didn't do and what did I learn?

    It's okay to acknowledge limitations, as long as limitations aren't driving us.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Hmm... This may not be the same thing... but even if I have an unrealistic goal, I feel like a failure if I don't at least try. A lot of times I'm failed, but been pretty surprised that I got farther than I ever dreamed I would have. So I keep trying, and each time I get a little closer.

    I tend to give up when I get bored... Or I become distracted by a new goal.


  10. #10
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    I'd never try something that I don't think I could do, as I think it's much better to apply my energies toward something I can actually accomplish. The downside to this is sometimes I get things confused, as in "I can definately do this!"(No, you can't.), and the opposite "I can't do this!"(Yes, you can, you just didn't/don't apply yourself enough).

    That said, once I set a goal for myself, it's nearly impossible for me to drop it or give up. Most times it takes an external person coming out and saying to me "Dude, give it up" before I actually realize I'm wasting my time on something, because I'm not the kind of person to admit defeat.

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