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Don't like change

prplchknz

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So I hated high school, absolutely couldn't stand the people their, the cliques I hated etc. Yet I didn't want to graduate, because I knew what it entailed. I didn't know what college would be like, so I had no interest in that, just stay in high school, even though I hated it, but I knew what it was I knew my place I knew the expectations.

anyone else hate change this much? to the point of even if your life is miserable you still don't want it to change, because you know what to expect?
 

Cheshire Grin

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I can relate to your sentiments concerning not wanting something to change because you're unsure of what to expect once you transition from one 'stage' of life to another. It's like you have to learn everything again which can be bothersome at times and you would rather just stick with what you know because it's a zone of comfort and familiarity.

On the other hand, I really liked high school but had I hated it I would have been more than glad to leave. If I dislike a situation or an environment I will actively try to change it - and if departing from the familiar is something that comes with it, then I would rather wade into unknown waters than stay with something I'm dissatisfied with.

I think change isn't something that should be feared per se but rather, it should be viewed as an opportunity. It's what you make of the opportunity and your angle of approach that matters. So even though you would rather not leave high school because you already know what to expect from it there are still aspects to it that you dislike. Think of graduation as a fresh start and an opportunity to remove yourself from an environment that you aren't too happy with. Sometimes it's necessary to break out of your zone of comfort if you want to find better things in life.
 

prplchknz

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dude I'm 23 well past highschool. I just used that as an example.
 

Cheshire Grin

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Oh no I got that (seeing as the first paragraph of your opening post was in past tense). I was trying to give an example using the example you gave to offer an alternative perspective to facing change :yes:
 

OrangeAppled

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No. The unknown offers too much possibility - possibility to move closer to the ideal. What is known feels stagnant, and all of its flaws are glaringly clear. I get depressed and feel like numb zombie to be stuck in a rut like that. I am restless to move on and explore another avenue of life. Restlessness is much more of a problem for me than resistance to change.

I do sometimes have anxiety about other people's expectations when I am not familiar with those people though. I think this has to do with my Fe-tardation and remembering my past blunders & fearing a repeat showing. I guess that's my tert-Si rearing its ugly head.
 

nolla

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I like change, but I also like to stay put. When things start to change I like the feeling of starting over again or seeing things I would not see in my past situation. Then the phase ends and things come to a relative stillness and I like that too because in midst of all the change I had not time to consider how my life changed and now I need to do that. Then the cycle starts again. It seems like either I am not moving at all, or I am flying. Here it is, here it is, here it is, BLINK, now it's there! I warp.
 

Synapse

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Your in a funky funk!
When your in a funky funk options close, roads drawbridge and worlds collapse. And then your thoughts are climbing into that neurotoxin of neurotoxins self destruct. Please start taking iodine and magnesium supplements. But before you can even do that, you have to crawl out of your funky funk for the bridge shall narrow instead of widen. And the more it narrows the more you feel like you are walking on a tightrope, yes?

You do not hate change, what you hate is where you are, and where you are is unchanged! Its called base survival and when your in base survival you are simply going with those primal states. And then nothing else looks adjustable and feels indeed confining, tends to be blocked from the intentions of positive change but you can see every negative change possible, yes? Why try, why bother, why do anything that is, why put so much effort in resisting change, because your in your base survival state.
 

Snuggletron

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So I hated high school, absolutely couldn't stand the people their, the cliques I hated etc. Yet I didn't want to graduate, because I knew what it entailed. I didn't know what college would be like, so I had no interest in that, just stay in high school, even though I hated it, but I knew what it was I knew my place I knew the expectations.

anyone else hate change this much? to the point of even if your life is miserable you still don't want it to change, because you know what to expect?

Can relate...

after awhile though the routine becomes really abrasive on your morale. Especially when you consider you only have until you die and then that is it (maybe around 70 years if you're lucky). Is it really worth being stuck in a loop for that long? I have only recently had the desire to renovate my life and built up years and years of repression and fixation, staying in a comfort zone so it's been hard to think any other way.

I still live at home (I am 20), I've been taking classes at a local community college and have had the same job since I was 17. It really never bothered me or struck me that I should have to move in a certain direction any time soon, but I began to notice all of my friends moving in outward directions like galactic matter while I felt like I wasn't really going anywhere in any real character-gaining respect, except gaining credit hours.

In my home my mom (who is on disability) and step-dad have developed very dull, cyclic lives, and I know both are unhappy with that and just drown it out with TV, family gossip, sports, drinking, and other what have you. I feel I've synced with that like it's some kind of contagion. Like a really low energy that pushes you in a gutter, and I've allowed that because I was too scared to take a leap or do the required efforts to leave. Life is easy but so unstimulating. Getting tired of it. Will be making an effort to transfer to another school and live on my own, which is a very big deal. The start might suck but hopefully I'll be more satisfied knowing I'm not sitting around rotting anymore.
 

OrangeAppled

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Your in a funky funk!
When your in a funky funk options close, roads drawbridge and worlds collapse. And then your thoughts are climbing into that neurotoxin of neurotoxins self destruct. Please start taking iodine and magnesium supplements. But before you can even do that, you have to crawl out of your funky funk for the bridge shall narrow instead of widen. And the more it narrows the more you feel like you are walking on a tightrope, yes?

You do not hate change, what you hate is where you are, and where you are is unchanged! Its called base survival and when your in base survival you are simply going with those primal states. And then nothing else looks adjustable and feels indeed confining, tends to be blocked from the intentions of positive change but you can see every negative change possible, yes? Why try, why bother, why do anything that is, why put so much effort in resisting change, because your in your base survival state.


Fi-Si loop :coffee:

:tongue:
 

Chaotic Harmony

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There are different levels of change for me... Change that I know is coming... Change that is sudden... And change that I was given advanced warning about...

Change that I know is coming....
This would be like your high school example... I knew someday I would graduate and I had a very definite time line on when to expect that change to happen. So I was able to prepare myself for it. I even took some college classes prior to graduation to get a feel for what to expect.

Change that is sudden...
I don't handle this type of change very well because I wasn't given a chance to prepare for it. This happened in my job... My boss came back from a meeting and told me "You'll be handling this, this, and this from now on." I went into panic mode because I wasn't able to prepare myself for the change. I didn't have a plan of action ready and it threw me off balance.

Change that I was given advanced warning about...
This is similar to the first one... It was a change that I wasn't expecting, but was given enough of an advanced warning to prepare myself for the change. It gave me time to run scenarios through my head and prepare for what might happen when the change occurred.
 

Tabula

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I don't hate it; I'm afraid of it.

I've long since realized that I slip into, and become complacent in, routine rather quickly, and sooner or later, I find myself inexplicably frustrated and wanting to gouge out my eyeballs with a rusty spoon. Change is necessary for my health, and I'm willing to bet this doesn't apply to me only.

For whatever reason, I expected my life to move fluidly from one period to the next. I never considered what exactly had to happen to get to that next point and so felt nakedly unprepared as I exited the familiar classroom doors for the last time --namely, the fact that it requires an actual, specifically-directed expenditure of energy on my part, overcoming anxiety, dealings in failure, and understanding that I can't be a master/perfect/completely learned at everything before I even try it. I'm still dealing with these, but recognizing them has made it a little easier, as well as acknowledging that everyone goes through it in some form or another and that it doesn't matter if I embarrass myself in the process. Others are more concerned with their own issues to much bother about how incompetent or stupid I am. ;)

I'd say it's an incarnation of that clichéd "fear of the unknown"--which seems to translate, in you, as "hate." It seems you've placed yourself in direct, seeming confrontational opposition to it. But, you'd obviously know better than I.
 

Lily flower

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I have a sort of dual nature. I hate change that involves location. If I could have had the choice, I would still live in the same general area where I grew up. My friends are mostly people I have been friends with for 20 years or so.

On the other hand, I am a big risk taker in other areas of life. We were foster parents and I loved getting that phone call out of nowhere telling us there was a child who needed us. It was a real thrill to be able to rush to help a child and welcome them into our home and make them feel comfortable with our family.

So weird - major security freak on one hand, major risk taker on the other.
 
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