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View Poll Results: What has been the worst age to be alive for you (so far)?

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  • 0-10

    7 15.22%
  • 11-20

    33 71.74%
  • 21-30

    7 15.22%
  • 31-40

    4 8.70%
  • 41-50

    0 0%
  • 51-60

    0 0%
  • 61-70

    0 0%
  • 71-80

    1 2.17%
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Results 31 to 40 of 44

  1. #31
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by dissonance View Post
    age 18 was the worst by far. my first girlfriend died 2 months before i turned 18 (while we were together) and i was a complete wreck all year.
    Do you think you can tell that story?

  2. #32
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    So far, I would say that 15-17 were the worst because my father made me come to live with him during those years. I didn't relate to him or his family at all, and he finally let me come back home to my mother after three years of pleading with him about it and trying to meet his standards. He was nice to me and everything, but he expected me to develop social skills and complained about my being so introverted (He tested as an ESTP, but he was near 50% on every dichotomy except "E").

  3. #33
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Dissonance - I'm sorry. Glad things are improving for you though.

    My teens weren't fantastic by any stretch, but I wouldn't say I was unhappy. Everything outside of school was fine; I had some extracurricular activities that were really great. [of course this could be my looking at my past with rose-colored glasses on ;-)] Also, my consolation throughout my teen years was that eventually it would be over -- I had my eyes set on college and post-college, when life would miraculously be better. ;-) That's really what made the teen years not as bad as they could have been; my eyes were fixated on the future.

    My worst years so far have been 24-27ish. They really sucked...at least as far as my overall emotional state went (not to say I didn't have some great moments dotted throughout those years!) I was very unhappy (probably borderline depressed) and disillusioned. I had really thought I'd be romantically involved with someone by that point, or even married, and failures in those types of relationships were beginning to eat away at me. I also couldn't stomach the thought of having such a bland existance where all I was doing was working day in and day out for the next 50 years. So I kinda had to throw away some earlier assumptions I'd made about what my life would be like. Basically it was a quarter life crisis. And unlike my teen years, I didn't have any 'magic' future time where everything would be great that I could set my sights on. I instead had to figure out how to be happy in the present, and in the 'real world'. Kinda rebuilding my foundation, and learning to rely a bit more on myself to make things happen in my life. A lot of self reflection.

    28 was a really good yr for me, and 29 hasn't been so bad either...aside from the 'almost 30' mantra that I keep saying in the back of my head.....

    Edit: Oh, and as for best years!!! College was wonderful. What a neat experience and snapshot in life..being with thousands of other people who are at the exact same stage in life. Otherwise, there haven't been 'best years' -- just lots of memorable experiences peppered throughout my life! More 'best months' or 'best weeks', rather than 'best years!' :-)
    Last edited by cascadeco; 01-22-2008 at 12:05 PM.
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  4. #34
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    Do you think you can tell that story?
    sure.

    this girl (ENFJ) was a year older than i. she sought me out, since we were in a PE class together, and essentially made the whole relationship happen. at that point in my life, i basically had no idea how to be assertive, and she taught me. she was like 5 years more mature than anyone else i'd met at that point in my life. so our relationship was completely life changing for me.

    eventually, she went off to Columbia and i was still a senior, but we stayed together (i live in the bay area, california, and she was in new york). she visited me for a weekend and it was our best two days ever. then she went back to school. about a week later, we had a normal convo on the phone, she said she'd call me the next day, we said "i love you", and the next day she never called. she literally flaked ZERO times in our whole year and a half relationship, so i got worried. i was calling her dorm room and cell phone for the whole day, then i went to sleep. i kept calling her the next day, but couldn't get a hold of her. i eventually called her parents, and they had found out she died about an hour prior. what a terrible conversation for them to have to have with me

    so basically she had a single room, and had an allergic reaction. her floormates began to worry when she wasn't around for a day (she was like the floor leader), so they asked the R.A. to open the room. she was found dead with an epi-pen (allergy emergency medicine) and benadryl in front of her. autopsy results were inconclusive (no drugs or anything were found).

    i stayed home from school for a few days, then went back. everyone knew (small-ish school) but no one had any idea what to say to me, so no one said anything. i didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, so i just kept quiet about it for the rest of the school year. my friends really had no idea what to do, so they did nothing. only ONE friend understood what i was really going through, and she helped me tons. but basically i became a huge stoner, smoking 3-5 times a day -- it allowed me to hold everything inside (which was obviously bad in the long term).

    i went to therapy, blah blah, but i intellectualized everything instead of really facing my emotions and dealing with them (party because i was always stoned). then i went to cal, had a ton of freedom, and ended up blowing off all my classes and smoking all day instead. i had to bring my grades up the next semester, since i put myself on academic probation, but i didn't. so i got kicked out. i guess i was 19 at that point.

    but yeah, i spent a year out of cal, got back in, was gonna fail again, had to withdraw, then got sober for 7 months. that sober time was really what's allowed me to enter the next phase of my life. i had a little stoner phase for the last few months, but i'm done with that now.

    interestingly enough, i think i changed from enneagram 1w9 to 1w2 somewhere in there. it's because she was always helping/saving people, and once she died, i unconsciously took on that characteristic.

    phew. that was long.

  5. #35
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Wow. That's awful. I'm sorry for your loss.
    At least you got to say "I love you".
    I know a lot of people regret not having that chance.
    How horrible for her parents - to lose their daughter in such a way that seems so preventable.

  6. #36
    Senior Member Sandy's Avatar
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    My Dad left us when I was 10, and from that time on, my life was hell. I battled low-self esteem for years. :sad: The only bright spot was when I fell in love, got married, and had two beautiful children. That was short lived when I couldn't take marriage anymore, and I walked away from an addict and chose to be a single-parent. That was, by far, the hardest years I faced (doing it alone).

    My 30s were tough, too. Finally, the 2nd half of my 30s were decent!

    I can report that, thankfully, my 40s have been nothing short of amazing!
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  7. #37
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    From 12 to 21, incredibly painful years for me. Glad to put them to rest.

  8. #38
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandy View Post

    I can report that, thankfully, my 40s have been nothing short of amazing!
    Awesome, I have something to look forward to, hopefully.!!!

  9. #39
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    0-10 wasn't too bad most of the time. I was in my own little dream world and wasn't very aware of conflicts in the adult world around me.

    My mom and first step-dad divorced when I was ten and mom went through a party phase for a couple of years.

    She became reacquainted with a former boyfriend and married him when I was twelve. I liked him. We moved out of town. Later that year, my dog got run over, I got hit by a car, and my step-dad was killed by a drunk driver all on the same road, but not at the same time. It was hard.

    8-12th grades were pretty good.

    After graduation I was at loose ends. I got a job, dated a guy who wasn't that great to me and eventually dumped me. Mom got remarried and I felt it was time for me to leave home, but had no idea what I wanted to do. I left for college shortly after I turned 21 and though I was homesick a lot, I liked school and met the best guy ever.

    My twenties were not easy. We were poor and I had four kids in five and a half years, but there was a lot of love and we made some great memories.

    My thirties are the best so far. The kids are bigger and not so labor intensive and we have started getting on our feet, which is really nice. The hubby and I have most of our communication/power issues ironed out by now, so it's pretty smooth sailing there.

    I have high hopes for our forties and fifties.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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  10. #40
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    6th grade--being called fat and ugly to my face over and over, and having a girl pull a handful of my hair out. And my only two friends were always fighting with each other of ditching me.

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