I guess the difference is motivation. Resignation implies you wanted something better and let go of it out of defeat. If you can accept things as they are, yet seek something better, you can be happy. Not necessarily being an optimist, so much as learning to see even bad situations have some good in them, and vice-versa. Learning to embrace a kind of balance, I guess.
I really think I failed to describe what I was talking about adequately, but I hope I explained at least part of it well enough.
No. I think you got your point across. I understand this, and have tried it.
There is a second truth that people miss--an inner calling/voice that "is what it is" as well. When this is in alignment with the way things are, things go well. But when things get out of alignment, when we are forced to chose (temporarily at least) between being true to ourselves or accepting things as they are, that's when spiritual pain sets in.
This is where we are tested spiritually. In many ways, we are simply talking around each other. I thing most of us are aware of the points people bring up. We cannot discount the role of heredity, biology in all of this.
I disagree on this. It is true that most emotions come to us in an uncotrolled, call it spontaneous, way. However, I really believe we can think ourselves into emotions and emotional states. Thus we can sustain sadness when we start seeing it as part of our identity. And just the other way around as well. Isn't this what behaviourism can do?
There are plenty of behavioral techniques that can help a lot. They are often stop-gaps however, if steps aren't taken to make an individual's situation better, also.
i think you are missing my point. yes, the world exists as it is, regardless of how you see it or feel about it... full of aspects both negative and positive. this we cannot change... what we can change, though, is our understanding (which alters our actions) and focus (which alters our perspective)
Well, Zen-master. It is easy for me to miss points. When we change our understanding, are we not trying to change it to be more compatible with the way things actually are?
Focus, I suppose, is the main point. We can of course find the silver-lining where there are gray clouds. But, often, it is simply wiser to bring an umbrella.
I see two ends of a spectrum... one is fear, the other is love... you can either be driven by the former or pursue the latter. this isn't lying to yourself, it's smart thinking. anyone who has ridden a motorcycle will be familiar with the concept of target fixation... what you look at is where you're going to end up going. if you look for good opportunity in everything, then it only follows that you will get the best results possible.
This much makes sense. Unfortunately, people can be in points of their life where riding a motorcycle is not a good analogy. They have no target to fixate upon. What was "good," no longer seems good, and non new target is apparent. There is simply a state of confusion an unhappiness.
if are only ever driven by fear, although you may manage to survive, you will never be happy--fear is a beast you will never escape. the most basic fears-inadequacy and deficiency-can be easily identified in today's society. greed, for one, is a simple enough example of this... the poorest see the well-off as rich, the well-off see the millionaires as rich, the millionaires see the billionaires as rich... many will never think that they have enough. this is because they are trying to find security and happiness by feeding a fear of not having enough. this is, of course, completely irrational... a leftover, primal instinct that isn't useful in modern society. this is apparent from studies that show the increase in happiness in correlation to income is marginal except in cases of extreme poverty (where the instinct to have enough to survive is legitimate)
on the other hand, we can find happiness by pursuing love... both inward and outwardly. as mentioned earlier, i see two halves to this, the first being understanding, how we see inwardly and determine how to act and respond... the second being our focus on the world around us and how we see outwardly, which determines our perspective. i shall begin with the former... let's say someone does something that would probably make you angry. you could, of course, become angry and blame them for what they've done, or... you could realize that blame is admitting that someone else has control of your feelings and choose to respond differently. the world is what it is, what you need to determine is how you respond to it. i believe with this understanding, we can strive to live a healthy lifestyle (physically and emotionally) and thus learn to love ourselves... strive to find purpose in our lives and thus learn to love our existence... strive to create solid relationships with others and thus learn to love the people around us. as for the second half, it's simply a matter of focusing on and appreciating all of the positive aspects of the world and the people who inhabit it... loving every moment more than you mourn its loss.
it is no surprise that fear is centralized in the most primitive part of the human brain, nor that the things that separate humans from animals like art, music, and other aspects of culture, complex communication, etc. incite activity in the upper, more developed part of the brain. the biggest difference, in my opinion, is that while the purpose of the reptilian brain is survival, the higher mind is what allows us to
thrive
This also makes sense. Positive goals have a lot more staying power, if you can find them. But sometimes the voices/visions of fear are so strong that all you want to do is make them go away. Nothing else is heard/seen/felt till that happens.
it's important to ask yourself... "am i doing this, or looking at something a certain way because i feel like i need to in order to survive?" the bottom line is... in the grand scheme, you're probably going to be just fine. the only question left is whether or not you're going pursue happiness once you realize that.
That is easy for broadly capable people to say, but many are capable in only very a narrow sense. Take, for example, many people I knew in the Math and Physics departments at school. They are quite good at solving equations and coming up ideas for proofs, etc. but very handicapped in almost everything else (not officially autistic, but similar in many ways). How is it that you believe these people will be fine, in the grand scheme of things? What happens when their grants go away? What happens when they can no longer rely on the only thing they are capable at doing?
considering my S-ness, that much writing should tide me over for at least a couple of weeks.
Really, you read like the Dalai Lama (meant as a complement, BTW)
Ah, you bring up an excellent point. I find there to be a distinction between an emotion by itself, and an emotionally-infused, sustained mood. The former being derived instantaneously, without any foresight, and the latter being more of a result of a person's behavioral tendencies to either dwell on a given emotional state, or ignore, or acknowledge and get over it. I believe that cognitive behavioral therapy helps one control their moods by teaching them what and why they feel the things they do.
CBT has been proven a most effective way to lift depression, but even here, recurrence is very frequent. One thing people miss is that the environment a depressed person is in is just wrong for the person. They may need to find a different one, but not know where to look.
This is the hardest part (finding the right environment). The part most professionals, friends, family members, etc. are usually unable to do (and find very frustrating). IMO, this has to be done by the depressed people themselves, once they have regained the energy and resources to search.