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  1. #31
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i am a type 7 but i'm not sure if loosing your father at age 18 counts. they did however divorce when i was very young but he remained a constant part of my life. we were very close...i was a daddy's girl since i was born. i'm not sure how this all relates to being type 7...but it might.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #32
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    I remember seeing my father when I was 4.5 years old and intuitively knowing he was my father yet not being absolutely certain because I saw him so seldom prior to that age.

    I was neglected/rejected by my father till he died when I was 21.

    He and what he represents is definitely integral as to why I am an enneagram 4.

    That's all for now.

    I could say a lot more, but don't want to go down that incredibly sad thought path right now, sorry.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  3. #33
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    This thread is offically...

    [youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHdGySZLcIQ&feature=related"]Sad[/youtube]
    Oh, its
    You
    ....

  4. #34
    Senior Member rowingineden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    Yes I am interested in how it affects relationships interpersonal and particularly romantic relationships. Trust seems to be either limited or very intense but short lived or very often wanting repeated assurances/physical presence. Another aspect is a particular sensitively to criticism, especially by someone who is close (i.e. even when complemented noticing those parts of the complement that are less complementary then the main gist of the complement. For example I have noticed in some different voice either 1) a little girl voice well into adulthood or 2) an emotionally fluctuating and animated voice [sometime with a angry or brooding tone] or 3) a quiet shy voice or 4) a mixture of the above. I don't know if this is symptomatic it is just anecdotal and wondering if this fits a profile.

    I would also ask those who have gone through this whether surviving this experiance has given you specific gifts or strengths and what they are?
    What I went through with my biological father definitely made me more critical, more moral, more cautious (reluctant to trust), more intuitive, more avoidant, more protective of people close to me, stronger, and more mature. However, on the flip side, I tend to need someone to remind me very frequently that they do care about me, and I don't like criticism (I'm already critical of myself enough that it just seems redundant!) and I tend to want to have a chance to act childlike and playful.
    "You get what you're given, it's all how you use it."
    Pink - "God is a DJ"

  5. #35
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rowingineden View Post
    However, on the flip side, I tend to need someone to remind me very frequently that they do care about me, and I don't like criticism (I'm already critical of myself enough that it just seems redundant!) and I tend to want to have a chance to act childlike and playful.
    I notice this with women under these circumstances when I get close to them. In fact it is rather pleasureful. It reminds me of a lady friend of mine who purposely sought out a bottle-fed kitten to adopt ( a kitten whose mother had died before nursing had been completed). They were very close and it was as if the kitten thought she was its mother.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  6. #36
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Yeah. That stood out to me too.

    It ties in with Fives integrating to Eight - Eight being the power-seeking type.
    INTP 5s definitely have this tension between wanting ultimate control over their environment and person and at the same time not wanting to be bothered by anything/one. I guess those are two sides of the same coin.

    INTP 9s solve the problem of not being bothered in a different way. It's all pretty interesting.

    /derail
    And another slight derail... hilarious, last night I was talking with ISFJ ex in relation to my ISFJ mom and sister (note that ISFJs often identity as 2 or 2w1) and it was specifically said (not by me!) in regards to a specific social situation we're all dealing with right now that they were trying to control the situation in order to minimize potential conflict and in the process were not actually taking people's feelings into consideration or including them in the deliberations, which was wrong, but it was about them remaining in control of the situation.

    It was, like, right out of the horse's mouth!

    People seek power for different reasons.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #37
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    ^I think maybe you're both putting a type 4 spin on it.
    Not everyone with a smothering mother becomes type 5. Not everyone abandoned by a parent becomes type 4.

    Barring abuse or severe neglect, I think attachment patterns are broadly shaped by nature rather than nurture. E.g. Type 5 is said to be ambivalent to both parents. Well, we're pretty much ambivalent towards everything so no great surprises here. Does the type 5 "retreat" because the mother's emotions are "overwhelming" or does the type 5 find even normal emotional stimulation overwhelming? No real way of knowing which is egg and which is chicken...
    I got into the nature vs. nurture part in the blog entry (which is admittedly just rough ideas)....that was only a portion of it quoted. I personally think enneagram is nurture, and everything I've read on it supports that, as enneagram is very much about moving towards self-actualization (where the integration points come into play). However, I think cognitive functions are mostly nature...

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloé View Post
    its all about how the child perceives his parents.
    Exactly. Two children with the same upbringing can definitely be different enneagram types. Again, in my blog, I discussed my sister, who has the same parents, and how her subjective experience of the same events probably made her a 7w6. Part of it is, I am an INFP and she is an ESFP, so we're already starting from very different places.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  8. #38
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I got into the nature vs. nurture part in the blog entry (which is admittedly just rough ideas)....that was only a portion of it quoted. I personally think enneagram is nurture, and everything I've read on it supports that, as enneagram is very much about moving towards self-actualization (where the integration points come into play). However, I think cognitive functions are mostly nature...


    Exactly. Two children with the same upbringing can definitely be different enneagram types. Again, in my blog, I discussed my sister, who has the same parents, and how her subjective experience of the same events probably made her a 7w6. Part of it is, I am an INFP and she is an ESFP, so we're already starting from very different places.
    Does not compute. "Subjective" = Nature
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  9. #39
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Does not compute. "Subjective" = Nature
    Work on your reading comprehension & try again.
    That's the point.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  10. #40
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
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    I had my father growing up, but my mother left when I was one. I have two older sisters who also experiences this --

    And I've noticed we are all the same in our behavior, especially when it comes to relationships. We are vastly different when it comes to our careers and how we go about life, but when it comes to how we interact with people -- we are very...cold. We rarely get emotional and we are highly detached from most people. We are very aggressive in most aspects of life, especially when pursuing men. Both of my sister's are also very sexual people, although not very "loving" or sentimental.

    Basically, we think like men. But I suppose that is to be expected. I'm not sure what their MBTI type is however, due to the fact I don't think they have the patience to take the test.

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