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  1. #11
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    beautiful/sad perspective but i'm not sure i see it the same....i think she suffers from self hate and feelings of unworthiness. i think she wants to disappear...maybe she's beautiful outside but feels really ugly inside...she covers her body with tattoos to show you she's nothing...she feels loved when her family reaches out to help...but then feels unworthy of it so she can't accept it...instead just wishing to disappear...life would be better without her...all she causes is pain.

    anyway that's my quick take...she needs to learn to love and value herself.
    This. In a nutshell!
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    beautiful/sad perspective but i'm not sure i see it the same....i think she suffers from self hate and feelings of unworthiness. i think she wants to disappear...maybe she's beautiful outside but feels really ugly inside...she covers her body with tattoos to show you she's nothing...she feels loved when her family reaches out to help...but then feels unworthy of it so she can't accept it...instead just wishing to disappear...life would be better without her...all she causes is pain.

    anyway that's my quick take...she needs to learn to love and value herself.
    Reading Lady X's explanation, I think I read this situation way too intellectually. I can't say I have any direct experience with this kind of thing, but this seems to ring true to me. And also, the explanation is much simpler, which is a good sign of truth.

    And it doesn't matter how many times you tell her - if she doesn't believe it herself, she won't believe it from anyone else.

  3. #13
    facettes de la petite mor Words of Ivory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    beautiful/sad perspective but i'm not sure i see it the same....i think she suffers from self hate and feelings of unworthiness. i think she wants to disappear...maybe she's beautiful outside but feels really ugly inside...she covers her body with tattoos to show you she's nothing...she feels loved when her family reaches out to help...but then feels unworthy of it so she can't accept it...instead just wishing to disappear...life would be better without her...all she causes is pain.
    This.

    She's probably hoping for someone to come along and save her.

    Lack of self worth is a very destructive force.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    "Life calls out the meaning of pure jubilance,
    if you'll only take the time to hear it."
    ~ Words of Ivory ~

  4. #14
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    Yes, drugs are addictive, but under this theory, the high from the drug isn't the payoff. It's the eventual feeling of tragedy she feels that's the real addiction.

    Thoughts?
    Maybe both the physical addiction and the addiction to pain coexist?

    Also, it is likely that some of the drug use is "ritualistic" or solidifed in her as "habit forming behaviors."

    That is why Kojak (the 70's detective show on TV, played by actor Telly Savalas) always had lollipops: Because he had quit smoking and the lollipos helped him mitigate the ritualistic/habitual behaviors of putting something in his mouth when he craved nicotine.

    Finally, I will share a generalized theory I have on people that exhibit "victim complex" behaviors, for whatever reason they choose to villify.

    PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF THEIR GREATNESS, NOT OF BEING A FAILURE.

    Being a failure is easy. You can wallow in your own pity. You can screw up over and over again because that's all you can do. Boo Hoo. Achieving something requires that you establish a benchmark that you will hold yourself accountable for, and holding it in perpetuity. That scares the shit out of some people.

    Am I completely unsympathetic to people who have deep rooted psychological issues, such as major depression, bipolar disorder, acute cases of schizophrenia, etc? Hell no. They have my deepest empathy, and best wishes that they will recover, or at least be able to manage their issues with the right combination of medication and/or counseling.

    BUT - they must first come to the realization that something is wrong in their lives, and it is preventing them from living a productive and content existence. Then they must commit to finding a treatment that works for them, and commit to doing the work they need to do to overcome their demons.

    Drugs are often referred to as an escape for other problems. Guess what? They work. BUT - The escape is temporary, often illegal, and also of extreme danger to one's physical and mental health if too much is used for too long.

    It pisses me off that not everyone who has such issues has access to health care sufficient to provide them with medication and/or counseling to help them. Not until they let their lives fall into decay and thus qualify for Medicaid, at which point they are already living at about the federal poverty level (FPL).

    It's hard to recover from being stripped down to having nothing for an extended period of time. You have to stay that poor if you want to keep your health care. that is fucking bullshit. Why can't we as a nation give people care to PREVENT THEM from falling to that level of poverty. The whole fucking thing is backwards from this perspective. You either have ALL public benefits or NONE. A difference in income of a few hundred dollars per year can put you over the line from one category to the other. It's no wonder so many people don't try to get off public benefits. If they do earn just a little bit more money, they lose ALOT, so if they stay poor, and make extra money off the tax rolls, then they don't. This is especially disheartening for people with HIV/AIDS, who lose their SSID benefits if they make over a certain amount of money per month (it is low, like ~$600).
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  5. #15
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    The power to disappoint is a big, hateful power.

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