I don't always think self-control is a good thing.
Sometimes it's a coward's way out of not having to face legitimate conflict.
I spent a lot of my life living in self-restraint, which was good in some ways and not in others. Having to deal with my parents growing up, and being unable to communicate with either because they were incapable or unwilling to have any reasonable discourse, I learned to control myself instead and not let my emotions express themselves in my body (as much as possible) except for when I chose. That's not a great thing either, it kills sponaneity for the good stuff.
I usually did not show fear and could make myself do things most people would have had trouble doing (including 2-3 hour drives in the middle of the night on little sleep, or that 6-hour drive by myself through an actual blizzard one holiday, back around when I was twenty). But I tolerated some horrible depression and misery over the years of my life trying to make an untenable situation work, by just sticking my nose to the grindstone and controlling how I felt. There were times I just wanted to make decisions based on my emotional state but I squelched it instead because I believed I should. And despite my wanting to get along with people and feeling like I always had to be civil, nice, kind, whatever, there have been people I've met who I just found insufferable ... yet somehow managed to suck it up. Maybe not always for the best.
I don't exercise as much control as I used to, partly by choice -- I was tired of feeling that level of disconnect from my actual source of energy and internal emotion, and I don't always see the point of control nowadays if the conflict needs to happen and deserves to happen. I guess I could say instead of self-controlling all the time out of fear, I'd rather consciously make choices about how to respond.