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  1. #11
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post

    people get busy.
    i understand that.
    i can go off the radar for months at a time.

    i don't mind absence.
    Exactly what I was going to say.
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  2. #12
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    I usually don't expect people have the time for me at all, given work/school schedules, so I just do my own thing. So to answer the OP, I'd say that I'd assume that they've gotten involved with a project and didn't have time to go out. Yeah, it would feel sucky initially, but I'd have to just deal with it.
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  3. #13
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by Santtu View Post
    Suppose some friend of yours has invited you for a beer or whatever activity on a semi-regular basis, say about once or twice a week, on average. There's a change in his patterns; he doesn't contact you for two weeks or so. What you feeling?
    I see nobody that often. Except the people in my commune.

  4. #14
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    i think usually there's a give and take of it. like, it becomes both of our activity instead of something they're inviting me to. so i come to expect it, and i'd give them a call to see what's up if they didn't contact me first.

    or if they wanted to go more often, it'd depend on the activity. if i was bored of it maybe i'd suggest somewhere else. i might be a P but i actually love weekly ritual stuff. i like knowing i'll see people i enjoy and have a good time with them regularly. the routine is comfortable, as long as it's something i really want to do. if not... haha i'll take off.

    but i don't really think about these patterns being related to much in particular, unless they become really obvious. life is chaotic. for someone to randomly have a busy week or a more social week seems very normal. not to mention that it's related to what life is like at the time. things are much more random during the summer, for instance. both more and less social at holidays. whether you're in school and/or working, what job schedules are, etc.

    Would it be strange? You're not that close, why all the sudden interest in you? Have they lost interest in their closest friends for a while, so they are seeking for backup friends?
    this i do take notice of, when someone distant suddenly wants to hang out a lot. i usually just indirectly probe until i find out why.

  5. #15
    Glycerine
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    At least 1-2 times a year.

  6. #16
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    In regards to the questions in the OP, I'd be the friend not contacting others most of the time. Someone else doing the same to me wouldn't bother me.

    In regards to the follow up questions, if I liked the person then they could invite me out every day if they wanted and it wouldn't bother me, I mean I wouldn't hang out every day but their invites wouldn't annoy me. If I wasn't too keen on them it'd be a very different story.

  7. #17
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    A few times a year is sufficient for me.
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  8. #18
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I think it's best to just ask them what is up, rather than trying to guess.

    Realistically, there's a lot in life to keep any of us busy... including lots of various friendships and family... and that's not even considering the times when we're sick, exhausted, or just need some space without any demands jerking us around.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

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  9. #19
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    I love hanging out with friends, but I need at least a compliation of what resembles 2 to 3 days of rest.

  10. #20
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    i rarely expect things from people...but i can't remember ever wanting to hang out with someone and they couldn't or wouldn't so i'm guessing i don't notice too much when people get busy...maybe i get busy too.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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