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  1. #51
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I do that very often with my threads. I'm just curious to see what other people have to say. Plus as heart points out, when you give your own opinions people start to debate you about your opinions and not the meat of the thread. I'm more likely to play devil's advocate and say opinions I don't hold just to get a debate going when I'm discussing things IRL. I tend to post more in threads I'm invested in.
    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Sometimes I will start a thread on something controversial because I want to see what others think of the issue and I don't put my own views because I don't want the thread to start off becoming about me and my views and them debating me on them, I want the thread to be about their views instead. Then I come back later and give my views, lol as if they probably could not guess them before hand if they knew me!
    I agree with Heart and proteanmix here.
    I'm not consistent with the answering to my own threads thing (or any other thing). I go check the threads that I start but if I don't have anything to add then I won

  2. #52
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tovlo View Post
    As I understand it, Fe is judgement oriented externally. Those with Dom or Aux Fe need to refer to an external structure to make their judgements. It is important for us to have external feedback to work with in making decisions (like whether a post or expression is appropriate) and I have now come to believe that there is nothing inherently maladaptive about this at all. (not to say that someone who is Dom/Aux Fe could not also be lacking in self-esteem, but I do not believe they are the same thing) Unfortunately to those who orient their judgement internally Fe may seem a lack of confidence in self. Ironically for those of us who orient our judgement externally receiving that feedback from them can have devastating effect.

    Or so I've experienced.

    At any rate, I would wish you not to feel uncomfortable about this need within you. I think that with external orientation also comes an exceptional awareness of the dynamics of the social environment and I have observed you exhibit this gift in great measure.

    And yes, this is a response to your expression, but one that is without question coming from a place inside of personal pain and so if I projected my own experience on to yours, please forgive me.
    Oh, no, it makes a lot of sense, actually. Thank you. I do tend to have that problem a lot, to the extent that I need something external to base my decisions on. I kind of suspected it was that, but I liked hearing you confirm that it wasn't just me. So I now I do feel better about needing external feedback.

  3. #53
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Sometimes I will start a thread on something controversial because I want to see what others think of the issue and I don't put my own views because I don't want the thread to start off becoming about me and my views and them debating me on them, I want the thread to be about their views instead. Then I come back later and give my views, lol as if they probably could not guess them before hand if they knew me!
    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I do that very often with my threads. I'm just curious to see what other people have to say. Plus as heart points out, when you give your own opinions people start to debate you about your opinions and not the meat of the thread. I'm more likely to play devil's advocate and say opinions I don't hold just to get a debate going when I'm discussing things IRL. I tend to post more in threads I'm invested in.
    What you guys are saying makes sense. It's just that I don't get it when there's 48 responses two and a half weeks later, and the person has never come back.

    I guess when I start a conversation, I want to take part in it.

  4. #54
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    What you guys are saying makes sense. It's just that I don't get it when there's 48 responses two and a half weeks later, and the person has never come back.

    I guess when I start a conversation, I want to take part in it.
    I agree with that most of the time. Although very rarely I like to see what they come up with on their own without my ideas biasing them towards any one outcome or the other, to see if they come up with the same things I did. Testing how similar other people's thinking is to mine, in other words.

    I can't seem to resist coming back and checking on my conversations most of the time, though.

  5. #55
    Senior Member JustDave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    I agree with that most of the time. Although very rarely I like to see what they come up with on their own without my ideas biasing them towards any one outcome or the other, to see if they come up with the same things I did. Testing how similar other people's thinking is to mine, in other words.

    I can't seem to resist coming back and checking on my conversations most of the time, though.
    One of my big concerns is insuring that I followup on any threads I start.

    Also, to answer your initial question. Thus far I have found starting threads to be much easier than adding to them as when adding to a thread I am often afraid of posting redundant material.

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