A few weeks ago I posted another stupid thread about me and my issues. I got all kinds of problems with myself after graduating. Now things got worse. Let's be clear about it: high school was an awful time. I was permanently bored, alone and pretending I was someone completely different so things wouldn't get worse and there was no one I liked. But I was always kind of narcissistic. I had a huge ego, amazing self-esteem and I was totally in love with myself. Now I'm going to college, I have a job, I have amazing colleagues who are always nice and I'm taking driving lessons, but now I don't love myself anymore. I don't see myself as the super awesome, stunning weirdo anymore, I've become focussed on all of my bad traits. Now that everyone is nice to me and I'm becoming more normal, I lost all of my self worth. If I were my friend, I'd stop talking to me. If I were my lover, I'd dump me and throw me of a cliff. I'm still having nightmares and I usually fight people in these dreams and kill them.
Is this because my life is changing, because I'm growing up or something else? Will this eventually go away all by itself, do I have to work on it or do I have to live with this forever?