User Tag List

First 123 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 28

  1. #11

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    I'd be really interested to see if this is correlating with number of 'real' friends.

    It makes a lot of sense that someone would be unhappy if they didn't have many good friends, and then they would be forced to talk about shallow stuff with aquaintances, work colleagues etc.

    I'm not surprised this is true, pretty much nobody enjoys small talk as defined by the study. Non-small talk doesn't have to be abstract and "deep". I know I love a good conversation, usually focusing on relationships/psychology/personal motivations.
    I think that's a good point there, its why I bother logging online because generally you can have substantive exchanges you're unlikely to in real life.

    Its also part of the reason I hate trolls and get pissed off with certain forums because they seem to be in that zone where small talk is all there is or should be.

  2. #12
    Senor Membrane
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,190

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    I'd be really interested to see if this is correlating with number of 'real' friends.

    It makes a lot of sense that someone would be unhappy if they didn't have many good friends, and then they would be forced to talk about shallow stuff with aquaintances, work colleagues etc.
    Yeah, my thoughts exactly. I think it is more likely that the "deep" discussions just mean that you have someone you trust with your ideas.

  3. #13
    Senior Member InsatiableCuriosity's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    699

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    I will offer a slightly differing viewpoint on the classic "N" = deep conversations, and "S" = small talk dynamic.

    That should not be taken as absolute. I am a Sensor, My S/N scores are about 60/40 respectively. So, while I am maybe "just over the cusp" of being a Sensor, I am one nonetheless. I love chit chat, but I also love a good deep conversation, provided it's with the right person and about the right topic.

    Also, I know alot of iNtuitives (I seem to collect them somehow, LOL!) and not a single one of them ever runs away in horror if I am stopping by to say hello to them, and entertaining them with some of my notorious random bullshit.

    So, S/N smalltalk/deep thought predetermined wants and needs should be thrown in to the mix of things that might skew this study, because beyond all that, people are people, and we all bleed the same color, we all have hearts, and licves, and forced connectivity to some type of societal machine that tries to draw the life out of us everyday we turn its gears. We're alot more common than different, all MBTI aside. Just my opinion.
    A brilliant perspective Halla!! Well said!
    "Study hard what interests you the most in the most undisciplined, irreverent and original manner possible."
    — Richard P. Feynman

    "Never tell a person a thing is impossible. G*d/the Universe may have been waiting all this time for someone ignorant enough of the impossibility to do just that thing."
    author unknown

  4. #14
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    7w8 sx/so
    Socionics
    SLE
    Posts
    6,927

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    well that was just generalization to picture why this research can go down easy. i just showed direction in which i can think of possible weaknesses of research, didnt even rethink it because i know there's out there something that makes this research invalid and i dont have a need to find what exactly it is if i see clearly that there is something. i am sometimes wrong, but more often right but i just skim over it and scan it.
    Oh, I totally understand your comments above. I feel your pain, when I have to read too much into the details of how a given experiment was setup I think "That's great, defend it all you want, someone will be able to shoot it down" LOL! It's true though. There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. I'm more interested in what will happen in the real world, with real people, under real circumstances than pigeoning a group of folks into a room and asking them a few questions, and then trying to figure out why the sky is blue because of their answers being this or that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    in other words; example with N/S is irrelevant, i'm sure we could find others if i put time in it.
    The list would be long and varied, be sure of it!

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    it would be the same if the research was about people who dont practice sports daily being less happy, and you made your research among ex-athletes who are now invalids...
    Totally!

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    they said too little about group of 79 students who participated.
    Yes, and more importantly they did not observe them in thier natural environment. In vitro != In vivo...

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    and actually my post was defending of Ss.. because I dont think people who dislike to talk deep a lot should be forced to...etc... i know that i used to be angry at people close to me who are not interested in deeper conversations with me, and forced them. i seriously thought they'll be more happy if i make them more interested in such things.. but i was projecting my own needs. they dont need such amount of deep talk and connection.
    I'm totally with you, I try not to "force" people to talk about what I want to talk about. That's just plain self centered.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    ah.... why everything i say seems like attack on sensors.
    I didn't think you were Sensor bashing, I really didn't!

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    now, it's different if you read this article as ; people need genuine and deeper connections to be happy. i agree on that regardless type, many Ss, even 100% S, reach point in life where they are forced to use N, and go deeper and all, and it makes them usually happier, more aware of not-obvious stuff. But at the same time they dont require so much deep talk as NFs do, how can you measure then person's happiness based on how much time, in minutes, they talked deep? Amount of Deep talk =/= deep connection, or depth.
    Your statements above would be excellent criteria to expand the original experiment with. I'd like to see those smartypants little grad students chew on that!!

    My wife is an INFJ, so I totally understand your point above. There are times when she will get in front of me and just start talking about how her day went, and how it relates to her life, and years ago I used to try and makes sense of it as my brain would, and I always missed the boat. Two years ago I learned to listen, and ask about a few things in her conversation here and there, but no hijack it, and then a bit later, when she was done talking, when she felt like she had been "heard" she felt nice and happy and ended up on my lap watching TV with a glass of wine poured for each of us. That's a great deal in my book!

    The prototypical Sensor, especially a strong Thinking type, will not understand the default mode of deep communication that is no native to NFs. But we can learn to listen, and once we figure it out, it really is great stuff to listen to.

    Cheers to you! Have a great day!

    -A.
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  5. #15
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    18,524

    Smile

    If I am in touch with my deep self, it is as though I can see the deep selves of those around me.

    Also I can see whether they want to access their deep self or not.

    Often those with a loss or a problem or an illness or a mental illness want to access their deep self but find it hard to share their deep self with those around them.

    I think this is because the deep self operates to different principles or perceptions than the every day self.

    So to be able to move gracefully between the every day and the deep is a gift.

  6. #16
    Ginkgo
    Guest

    Default

    Talk Deeply, Be Happy?
    Maybe being happy can allow someone to talk deeply. Maybe, once they are free from despair, they can enjoy the more abstract things in life. Or maybe, abstraction distracts people from the immediate reality and acts as a kind of soma. The more cerebral you are, the more you are lifted up into the heavens. Of course it's happier there.

  7. #17
    Senior Member InsatiableCuriosity's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    699

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    Maybe being happy can allow someone to talk deeply. Maybe, once they are free from despair, they can enjoy the more abstract things in life. Or maybe, abstraction distracts people from the immediate reality and acts as a kind of soma. The more cerebral you are, the more you are lifted up into the heavens. Of course it's happier there.
    What an interesting perspective!! You may be very close to the truth there Tater
    "Study hard what interests you the most in the most undisciplined, irreverent and original manner possible."
    — Richard P. Feynman

    "Never tell a person a thing is impossible. G*d/the Universe may have been waiting all this time for someone ignorant enough of the impossibility to do just that thing."
    author unknown

  8. #18
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    10
    Posts
    2,233

    Default

    If you can't learn2 deep convo every now and then I don't see why anyone would want to be around you. It's not an S/N thing, it's just a matter of having a soul (or a similar metaphysical concept created by humans).

  9. #19
    Senior Member Gerbah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    433

    Default

    I agree it's not an S/N thing.

    I find that when people don't like deep conversation, it is often because they are insecure in their views and don't want to be disturbed by thinking about things that would make them question themselves or their lives. Or they are very attached to the things and ideas that make them feel they know what's what and how things are. Which is I guess the same thing.

    Basically there is something that makes it too disturbing for them to be open to different ideas. Each person's comfort zone will be different.
    the shoheen ho of the wind of the west and the lulla lo of the soft sea billow - Alfred Graves

  10. #20
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    ENFj
    Posts
    2,900

    Default

    I feel that being too far in either direction will not allow for attaining a proper balance and stable happiness. It's more likely to teeter if there isn't something to even it. However, I am a firm believer in the middle-ground in relation to almost anything.

    Too much of either can act more as an illusion of happiness, than a truth. I would be more interested in studies over an extensive period of time. It would have the high potential to prove that much more interesting.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gerbah View Post
    I find that when people don't like deep conversation, it is often because they are insecure in their views and don't want to be disturbed by thinking about things that would make them question themselves or their lives. Or they are very attached to the things and ideas that make them feel they know what's what and how things are. Which is I guess the same thing.

    Basically there is something that makes it too disturbing for them to be open to different ideas. Each person's comfort zone will be different.
    These are issues i am currently in the process of overcoming. Assessing/discussing other people or myself is my comfort zone. Topics directly related to the depth of all life can be unnerving.
    If you lack a good degree of security in yourself and in life, deep assessment has the ability to tear your perspective to shreds. I would imagine that a number of people don't consider this before diving into depth. Potentially, it is why the stereotype would be existenalism causing unhappiness.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

Similar Threads

  1. [NF] What Makes You Deeply HAPPY And/Or What do you NEED to be HAPPY?
    By ChocTiramisu in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 08-19-2017, 11:51 PM
  2. Is it easier to be happy if you're an S?
    By Moiety in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 09-15-2010, 07:55 AM
  3. Wing? And "I must be [x] to be happy"?
    By LeafAndSky in forum Enneagram
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 08-23-2010, 08:54 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO