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  1. #1
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    Default Fatherless Child

    I am one.

    My brothers, sisters and neices are too. And I wonder how it affects most people psychologically. People often want to say girls end up with daddy issues. Guys have problem with aggression. Those are the sterotypes, but what do you think is the truth?

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    Senior Member Ratsimoan's Avatar
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    I am one, too. I guess you can say my lack of trust in men come from not growing up with a father. I'm not quite sure if I have daddy issues.
    [SIGPIC] [/SIGPIC]

    Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."
    — Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

    "Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted."
    — Sylvia Plath

  3. #3
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    I think it's individual... i mean, one healthy parent is sometimes enough if your personalities are matching and circumstances are good.

    I am also fatherless.... I wasnt aware until recently how much it affected me. The reason why I wasnt aware is because I completely blocked feelings and needs towards him since early childhood. I didnt think I have right to father. I think it all started when I was 4 and he was going to war so, I remembered after doing some introspection, that I got so scared that he'll die then that I completely lost him that day, and when he came back I was older and didnt remember it but I was totally damaged.
    I wasnt aware of that, I was basically happy-go-lucky kid but always felt i m deeply wounded and I was.

    I dont think person needs to have issues life long, there are good ways to fix that, grieve loses. I will certainly not go through life with bleeding wounds that will fuck up my relationships and self image and all.

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    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    another bastard reporting. i dont have issues with aggression and i dont think not having a father has effected me much because my mom has been so awesome even tho raising me alone must not have been an easy job. not that i have been a hard child to raise, but still..
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  5. #5
    Senior Member WildCard's Avatar
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    I think it may have something to do with some aspects of someone's personality. Some of them may not be as obvious as some of the sterotypical signs, but I do know that growing up without a mother or father leads to some problems.

    For me, my parents got divorced and my mother refused to let me have any contact with him until recently. I have a lot of anger issues towards males, and have a hard time establishing good relationships with men in general. I think if I had grown up with a male figure, I could have learned things that I needed to know from a good source rather than relying on what I could only see.

    It's kinda like not having a Yin for your Yang. Things will be unbalanced in some way or another.
    Anything that you haven't fought for isn't going to be appreciated. It takes blood, sweat, and a large amount of tears before you appreciate what you have.

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    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WildCard View Post
    I think if I had grown up with a male figure, I could have learned things that I needed to know from a good source rather than relying on what I could only see.
    you didnt have any uncles, grandpa, older cousins or other males in your life that you could have used as male figure? i dont believe that male figure absolutely has to be your father
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  7. #7
    Senior Member WildCard's Avatar
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    Doesn't have to be, true. You could have learned those things from an uncle or grandfather as well. I just think there's a bit of a difference between the bond between father/child vs a grandparent or uncle relationship.

    You could get all this from another relationship and be able to work as well. I haven't for myself, so all I have to go from my experience.
    Anything that you haven't fought for isn't going to be appreciated. It takes blood, sweat, and a large amount of tears before you appreciate what you have.

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    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    i wonder if some types need less of a male figure(as in it doesent matter if that male figure isnt around much) to get the idea on how males should act.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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  9. #9
    Senior Member WildCard's Avatar
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    It's quite possible. I've met a few people who didn't have a male figure in their lives and they seemed just fine. I'm quite curious as to which types that would be though.
    Anything that you haven't fought for isn't going to be appreciated. It takes blood, sweat, and a large amount of tears before you appreciate what you have.

  10. #10
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WildCard View Post
    It's quite possible. I've met a few people who didn't have a male figure in their lives and they seemed just fine. I'm quite curious as to which types that would be though.
    i think my Ti helped on that one since i was able to figure out how things worked pretty well without having to rely too much on information from outer world
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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