We're on a typology site. So it's clear there are different types of people in the world, and I think someone's personality impacts how they respond to a particular missing parent (whether father or mother), as well as the personality and approach of the available parent, who else is available as a role model, the attitudes of peers, whether there is some sort of over-arching philosophical/religious belief that provides sustenance (or removes it), etc.
I also think it's possible to feel like you're doing just fine in your current situation, then reach a new situation in life (such as getting married, or becoming a parent), and then really noticing the void or realizing you might have developed some coping mechanisms to overcome the missing parent's absence, that make things harder for you. Being a child under a parent has a different set of responsibilities than being a young adult on your own, or a spouse yourself, or a parent. So you need to remain aware of your past and possible blind spots, and have someone to go to for advice or encouragement.
Originally Posted by INTP
i think my Ti helped on that one since i was able to figure out how things worked pretty well without having to rely too much on information from outer world
From what I've seen, INTPs do pretty well as teenagers in terms of being self-sufficient, etc., even if missing a parent figure.
- Able to perceive what's going on and figure out solutions
- Subjects emotions to rationality rather than acting out of emotion
- Typically independent and not one to base self on authority figures
- Not typically "macho" either and doesn't look as much for "guy" things
Still, I think the issues for INTP males would come later in life, if they end up becoming a husband and/or father. At that point, a positive role model is helpful, especially in regard to how to deal relationally with a spouse or child.
"Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"
“Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft
My parents divorced when i was 5 and i was very much a daddy's girl. We lived with mum and at the time i had no clue that she felt stifled in her marriage so when free of it, she allowed me ad my brother so much freedom and independence that it was great. I still spent time with my father at the weekends for a few hours and the occasional holiday .. but again not realising at the time, he actually kidnapped me and my brother and we stayed with family in Nottingham .. I remember my mum calling in tears, but didn't understand. I loved my dad.
My children do not see their father .. And god i gave him chance after chance. My ex was around for 6 years (longer than the bio father) so he was around but it wasn't the same (He didn't take the kids to play ball on the field or be very interactive although he came to the Xmas plays ). My eldest (15) doesn't care about his 'Father' .. My youngest (13), the kid has issues ..
I've made bad decisions, i am aware of that. I hope they'll come to a point in the future where they can hopefully understand why i behaved the way i did.
Now we have a male member of the family to come and talk to my youngest when things are going crazy so i am grateful that he gets some support.
“I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
― Georgia O'Keeffe