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    Default What's the difference between hurt Fe and hurt Fi?

    I know the difference between Fe's and Fi's reasoning for choosing ethical standards, moral behavior, etc. but I've seen people talk about hurt Fe vs. hurt Fi. Do they really look that different? How so? Examples please. Thanks.

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    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I know the difference between Fe's and Fi's reasoning for choosing ethical standards, moral behavior, etc. but I've seen people talk about hurt Fe vs. hurt Fi. Do they really look that different? How so? Examples please. Thanks.
    I think a hurt Fe comes off a bit more chaotic than a hurt Fi... reason being they just internalize it all... most of the time. I think many might be oblivious to me being hurt, unless they notice a lack of smiling and bubbliness. With a hurt Fe, however, it's usually pretty obvious... they make their pain well known or just act erratically. However, this is just from my experience with myself, an INFP, an ENFP, an ESFJ, and an INFJ. I do have one enigma of this type however, and that is my ESFP roommate, who is technically an Fi... but she makes her pain heard. But another ESFP that I know of often hides her pain, pretending to be all smiles on the outside even when shit's got her down.
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    Hmmm...I don't know that this helps, because I've been made to understand that Fe is actually more likely to repress feelings so as not to affect other people or cause disturbance, that Fi doms (IxFPs) will internalize things, but not necessarily repress for the sake of others, and that ExFPs are more likely to have outbursts and be "chaotic" as you say, because of a combination of being extroverted and having a need to be real or "authentic" with lack of regards to what other people think.

    What I'm trying to find out here, is if someone had really hurt Fe would it start to look like extroverted Fi, i.e. acting out with lack of regard to society and other people.

    I guess.

    I hope this thread gets plenty of responses, because I'm a little confused.

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    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Hmmm...I don't know that this helps, because I've been made to understand that Fe is actually more likely to repress feelings so as not to affect other people or cause disturbance, that Fi doms (IxFPs) will internalize things, but not necessarily repress for the sake of others, and that ExFPs are more likely to have outbursts and be "chaotic" as you say, because of a combination of being extroverted and having a need to be real or "authentic" with lack of regards to what other people think.

    What I'm trying to find out here, is if someone had really hurt Fe would it start to look like extroverted Fi, i.e. acting out with lack of regard to society and other people.

    I guess.

    I hope this thread gets plenty of responses, because I'm a little confused.
    Hurt Fe revolves around other people. A way I might have a hurt Fe attack is if I hurt someone else I instantly feel what I am doing to them, and Ni backing it up, I see all the angles in which I am hurting them which in turn makes me feel like I am utterly swimming in guilt and self doubt. It feels like self hatred and self loathing for being a useless waste who is unworthy of love.

    I've also seen it show up as self sacrifice, maybe if I hurt myself bad enough someone will care kind of thing.

    Fe is totally reliant on external forces.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy View Post
    Hurt Fe revolves around other people. A way I might have a hurt Fe attack is if I hurt someone else I instantly feel what I am doing to them, and Ni backing it up, I see all the angles in which I am hurting them which in turn makes me feel like I am utterly swimming in guilt and self doubt. It feels like self hatred and self loathing for being a useless waste who is unworthy of love.

    I've also seen it show up as self sacrifice, maybe if I hurt myself bad enough someone will care kind of thing.

    Fe is totally reliant on external forces.
    Hmmm...yeah, but I when I hurt other people I feel like shit, too. It makes me feel guilty too.

    BUT WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE. Do you feel vengeful? Do you want to hurt other people before they hurt you? Do you ever act out to punish people?

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    When my ENFJ friend is hurt... EVERYONE knows about it. And you hear about why, and what caused it. A LOT.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

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    Let me give you a couple of scenarios:

    1) I think this is the difference between me and my ENFJ sister (I could be wrong, maybe I'm the ENFJ and she's the ENFP?) ... she brings her friend home unexpectedly one night to my mother's house, and acts appalled that my mother and I are arguing. I am very upset and can't calm down, I am crying at that point because I'm upset about more than my mom (this was a very bad time in my life, had just broke up with my ex, was depressed) and my sister actually approaches me and basically asks me to behave myself for her friend. She totally disregarded how upset I was and thought I was out of line for being hysterically upset when she brought her friend home UNEXPECTEDLY...which I still think is fucking ridiculous and rude of her. Her friend, a guy, some sort of IxFx seemed like he was more concerned about me than my sister did. What she cared about is that I didn't embarrass her and that I behave myself. She has asked me on other occasions basically to tone it down if I'm upset.

    2) Someone who wants to tell the truth and be themselves, even if it is to the point of offending other people. Someone who likes teasing or provoking other people. Could this be an FJ with hurt Fe or is this actually someone with Fi?

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    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    I realized I confused myself also when referring to my ENFP friends... I forgot they are Fi and not Fe.

    Would a Fe look like an extroverted Fi when hurt? Lemme think about this... ESFJ's, ENFJ's, and ISFJ's, and INFJ's right? That's who we're talking about here specifically?

    Mmmk. I don't know that they act out without regard to society, but specific people, especially maybe one that they are hurt by? Yes!
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    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    BUT WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE. Do you feel vengeful? Do you want to hurt other people before they hurt you? Do you ever act out to punish people?
    Fi Hurt:


    Fe Hurt:


    --------------------
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Hmmm...I don't know that this helps, because I've been made to understand that Fe is actually more likely to repress feelings so as not to affect other people or cause disturbance, that Fi doms (IxFPs) will internalize things, but not necessarily repress for the sake of others, and that ExFPs are more likely to have outbursts and be "chaotic" as you say, because of a combination of being extroverted and having a need to be real or "authentic" with lack of regards to what other people think.
    That's how I would have assumed they displayed, as a T type I don't think my personal experience with Fe is going to help but I expect hurt Fe would not want to upset the overall feeling of others around them, as with most things in life though I don't expect that courtesy is automatically given to the people they are annoyed with or care about the most.

    I have a Fe dom, two Fi doms and a Fe aux in my family, the Fe dom when hurt would either emotionally crumble and be unavailable for others, or try to express her emotions in a manner that attempted to make other people understand without upsetting them (unless they were the cause of the angst), one Fi dom would appear hurt to the core and withdraw, she wouldn’t strike out at others. The other Fi dom showed minimal outward concern about others reactions to their emotions, they appeared completely unaffected on the outside but would be capable of lashing out. The Fe aux would try to minimise their impact on others, they would however express their emotions, moody was very much them, sulky too when hurt.

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