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What do you wish your parents had done for you as a child?

Tiltyred

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Realized that no matter how hard you smack it, the square peg will not fit into the round hole.
 

Cephalonimbus

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What do you wish your parents had done for you as a child?
  • I wish my dad would have at least contacted me occasionally. I've only seen him 4 times in my life and every time the contact was initiated either by my mom or myself. Doesn't exactly make a kid feel wanted. It's not that he doesn't care either, because when i visited him in my teens, all his pub buddies knew he had a son and had seen my picture.
  • My mom could have been more strict with me. I'm not very disciplined and have messed up a lot of things in my life. And although i certainly don't want to put the blame on anyone but myself, i feel that i might have done better if there was some authority figure in my youth who gave me the occasional kick in the butt instead of only being sympathetic.
  • I wish she would have found a stable man sooner. She has had a number of disastrous relationships throughout my childhood and although how others act is obviously out of her control, she could have figured out sooner that there was a certain repeating pattern of irresponsible jackasses in her life. Now i normally don't like to label people, but none of these guys could be described as responsible human beings and frankly, they were all quite abnormal. Sure, i can see the charm of free spirits with eccentric lifestyles -- and in a way it does fit her own personality -- but they're often not the most dependable people and she had enough problems of her own to deal with. She needed someone who would take care of her and i worried a lot about this.

What did they do which really stands out as significant?
My mom did a great job, considering she had to raise me all by herself and she had enough problems on her own -- physically, mentally and financially. I received plenty of love and affection, intellectual and creative stimulation... well, basically she did everything right except for what i mentioned earlier :heart:
 

Sunny Ghost

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What do you wish your parents had done for you as a child?

What did they do which really stands out as significant?

I was always really shy and timid... and so never expressed a desire to do much of anything. I wish they would have thrown me into a piano or violin lesson... or perhaps even some sort of dancing lesson like ballet. I was never really encouraged to do any sort of extracurricular activity, but always had a slight desire to do so... I was just too afraid at the same time. :huh:

What they did do, was give me a great open minded view of the world and humbleness, which I've always appreciated them for. Not to mention a really silly sense of humor. :yes:
 

Rebe

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What do you wish your parents had done for you as a child?

- I wish my mom was more nurturing and there for me rather than demanding that I be her picture perfect daughter. Also, she treated me like her emotional punching bag.
- I wish they taught me to experience life and find challenges and be strong and courageous instead of teaching me to be afraid/anxious of everything.

I understand why and how they failed in those areas (and others) to me and a part of me sympathize but a part of me still holds great anger toward them.

What did they do which really stands out as significant?

- Everything they do is for their children. They work extremely, extremely hard and saves everything just for our future. Financially and sentimentally, they are the most self-sacrificing parents I know.
 

Mole

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Everything they do is for their children. They work extremely, extremely hard and saves everything just for our future. Financially and sentimentally, they are the most self-sacrificing parents I know.

I can't help wondering if you yourself are self-sacrificing?
 

Mole

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I was always really shy and timid... and so never expressed a desire to do much of anything.

I have always liked the shy and timid. And doing nothing is a great gift.

Of course we always long to be what we are not and overlook the pearl we hold in our hand.

So perhaps you are the pearl we are holding in our hands right now.
 

Rebe

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I can't help wondering if you yourself are self-sacrificing?

Oh wow, I understand your post, Victor. ;)

Somewhat. I am INFP after all, but I also grew up in the individualistic, independent, slightly selfish, personal goal attaining American culture. :wubbie: My life is mine, not my future husband's and only partially my future children's. MINE.
 

Mole

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Oh wow, I understand your post, Victor. ;)

Somewhat. I am INFP after all, but I also grew up in the individualistic, independent, slightly selfish, personal goal attaining American culture. :wubbie: My life is mine, not my future husband's and only partially my future children's. MINE.

Mine, all mine. Oh, how I wish you were mine.

But perhaps you could be mine in a small way by reading, "Wind in the Willows", over the phone with me, turn and turn about.

Just click on -

The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame: Chapter 1

and let me know.
 

Rebe

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That's very Michael Jackson in that Simpsons Episode or maybe it was Family Guy. Creepy.
 

Fidelia

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He's serious, Rebe. What's up with you and Wind In the Willows, Victor?
 

EJCC

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For the safety of all involved... BACK TO THE TOPIC! :footballreferee:

I wish that my parents had made me do more sports. After all, I liked them okay when I was involved - I didn't love them, necessarily. But I ended up becoming unathletic and hating sports, and I can't seem to turn that around at the moment (except for going to the gym and such). I guess I don't see the gym as natural, and I'd rather enjoy a sport like running or soccer. It seems like it would have been fun if I started earlier.

The fact that the above is one of the only things I can think of makes me grateful for my family.
 

Mole

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He's serious, Rebe. What's up with you and Wind In the Willows, Victor?

It's well written. It reads well. And my parents read it to me as a child.

It's available to us on our computer screens. And the telephone is available for free.

In fact it is just as easy to connect two as it is to connect three.

So let me extend my invitation to both you Rebe and you Fidelia to read Wind in the Willows from our computer screen, on the telephone, to one another, turn and turn about.

So Rebe reads the first paragraph and Fidelia reads the second paragraph and I read the third, and so on until we have read the chapter.

What can I say? Wind in the Willows is simply delightful and Mole and Ratty and Toad are my friends and I would like you to meet them.
 

tinker683

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I don't wish that my parents had done anything differently for me, as I feel that they did everything they were supposed to do. They were there for me when I needed them, they always made me feel loved and wanted, and they supported me no matter what I did.

My younger brother, however, I wish they would have been harder on. They gave him everything they gave me but instead of disciplining him a little harder when he started to get spoiled, they acquiesced to his whining and now he's a spoiled brat who expects the world to bend over for him. Drives me bonkers.

Probably the thing they did for me that stands out the most was how they were toward me during my depression. They always stuck by me and supported me and even though my Dad did lose his patience with me a few times, I know it was only because he was a naturally up-beat person and had a hard time understanding why I was depressed and not because he didn't love me.
 

Fidelia

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It's well written. It reads well. And my parents read it to me as a child.

It's available to us on our computer screens. And the telephone is available for free.

In fact it is just as easy to connect two as it is to connect three.

So let me extend my invitation to both you Rebe and you Fidelia to read Wind in the Willows from our computer screen, on the telephone, to one another, turn and turn about.

So Rebe reads the first paragraph and Fidelia reads the second paragraph and I read the third, and so on until we have read the chapter.

What can I say? Wind in the Willows is simply delightful and Mole and Ratty and Toad are my friends and I would like you to meet them.

I already am acquainted with Ratty and Mole and Toad and like them very well. However, I find it odd that you have been on this kick for at least a year. Surely you've already gotten it read. And if everyone's turned you down for it, perhaps it is worth investigating why. Your very insistence makes them less likely to want to. The invitation in this thread seems sort of extraneous and unrelated. And you don't respond to normal back and forth exchange, which makes me want to distance myself. I also notice that your invitations tend to be made almost exclusively towards women, which makes them feel uncomfortable as well. Notice that Rebe already responded and said that the invitation was creepy. Not saying that to be unkind, but if you haven't considered these factors, perhaps it is time.
 

Totenkindly

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- I wish they taught me to experience life and find challenges and be strong and courageous instead of teaching me to be afraid/anxious of everything.

I'm sorry. That was part of my parent's legacy to me as well (as well as the legacy of my subculture): Fear and distrust the world, and live in constant anxiety/fear of loss. It's a sad lesson.

But it sounds as if you see it now, and you can still claim what should have been yours from birth. What I learned throughout my own trials (which were like emerging from a dank dead chrysalis) is that there is a lot of love and beauty in the world, if you embrace courage and step out into the light. Parental legacy is not all there is.

Somewhat. I am INFP after all, but I also grew up in the individualistic, independent, slightly selfish, personal goal attaining American culture. :wubbie: My life is mine, not my future husband's and only partially my future children's. MINE.

:)

Good for you. I did the "self-sacrificing" thing for far too long and it bleeds you dry. There's a balance to be had; we have to preserve ourselves as well as others.
 

MacGuffin

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As weird as it sounds, I wish my SJ parents had pushed me harder. As long as I was "on track" (grades, playing well with others, church), then everything was okay.

I doubt they'd have opened up an alternative life so I ended up being an artist in a basement hole in NYC or anything, but there were a lot of things out in the world that I had no idea existed. If they had pushed, maybe I would've reached higher, further.

Other than that, they were pretty good parents. A bit bossy about the little details of day-to-day life, but I can't complain much at all. They were so sensible I had a hard time rebelling. Maybe rebelling is what I really needed.
 

Totenkindly

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Other than that, they were pretty good parents. A bit bossy about the little details of day-to-day life, but I can't complain much at all. They were so sensible I had a hard time rebelling. Maybe rebelling is what I really needed.

That strikes a chord. I'm an adult reaching mid-life and I find myself in a weird "rebellion" mood where I openly challenge a lot of things that in the past I did not fight against. Sometimes I feel like I even pick fights, purposefully, and I'm not sure why... except maybe to assert my ego and be challenged in turn, thus helping me discover the boundaries and capabilities of my own self. It just is a little unsettling to be doing it now.
 

MacGuffin

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That strikes a chord. I'm an adult reaching mid-life and I find myself in a weird "rebellion" mood where I openly challenge a lot of things that in the past I did not fight against. Sometimes I feel like I even pick fights, purposefully, and I'm not sure why... except maybe to assert my ego and be challenged in turn, thus helping me discover the boundaries and capabilities of my own self. It just is a little unsettling to be doing it now.

Yeah, I do that.
 
R

Riva

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As weird as it sounds, I wish my SJ parents had pushed me harder. As long as I was "on track" (grades, playing well with others, church), then everything was okay.

I doubt they'd have opened up an alternative life so I ended up being an artist in a basement hole in NYC or anything, but there were a lot of things out in the world that I had no idea existed. If they had pushed, maybe I would've reached higher, further.

Other than that, they were pretty good parents. A bit bossy about the little details of day-to-day life, but I can't complain much at all. They were so sensible I had a hard time rebelling. Maybe rebelling is what I really needed.

If your parents were Asian, they would have pushed you so hard, you'll have bruises all over your ass to show your children what the fuck would happen to them if they never listened to you.

You want that? ;)
 

MacGuffin

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If your parents were Asian, they would have pushed you so hard, you'll have bruises all over your ass to show your children what the fuck would happen to them if they never listened to you.

You want that? ;)
But I'd be in the USA, I could've ran off and joined the circus!
 
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