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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Tonight at 5.30 I am attending a workshop to give me something I wish my parents had given me as a child.

    The workshop is in a beautiful old house in a lovely part of town quite close to me.

    Yes, tonight I am learning to compose on the piano.

    I am not learning to play the piano, I am learning to compose, to create music on the piano for my delight and pleasure.

    I really want to do this so I am a little nervous, but my teacher is well known and a wonderful person. But most of all, she understands creativity and can teach it.

    I have discovered that not only is creativity rare but the ability to teach it is rarer still. In fact most creative writing teachers will tell you straight out that they can't teach creativity - admitting their impotence from the very beginning.

    However those that can teach creativity have a special charisma. And strangely enough they are irresistibly loveable.

    They do share this quality with mystics such as Simone Weil (pronounced Vey) - they seem to be irresistibly loveable. Often this quality is so strong it is perceived as a perfume that envelops the person.

    And just think - in five hours I will be sitting on the same stool as this adorable and loveable person. I can hardly breathe with excitement.
    The teacher sounds ENFJ.

  2. #72
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    Took me to Disney World or Universal Studios, damnit! I'm scarred for life.

  3. #73
    Senior Member Pixelholic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mask Manifest View Post
    Took me to Disney World or Universal Studios, damnit! I'm scarred for life.
    That juxtaposed with your avatar is probably the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” -Nietzsche

  4. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pixelholic View Post
    That juxtaposed with your avatar is probably the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.
    It is the source of my inner turmoil.

  5. #75
    Senior Member Oeufa's Avatar
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    I wish I'd been able to discuss problems with them. Any time I tried to talk about something that was really bothering me (and it would have to be something fairly serious for me to want to talk) I felt I was being dismissed. I don't bother anymore.

    Something that stands out? They encouraged me to pick up music when I was eleven and paid for lessons etc. I don't know what I'd be doing today without that first step they gave me.
    Ti>Ne>Si>Te>Fi>Ni>Se=Fe

    And yes, there are such things as INTPs who overuse emoticons

  6. #76
    Self sustaining supernova Zoom's Avatar
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    Not left me with a bipolar former Marine who owned at least two guns, had very high skills in a couple of different martial arts, and who was emotionally manipulative and unstable. Nothing else comes to mind, really. That's the only one that actually angers me as I look back.

    Stands out? I went to fairly high quality schools and was always expected to do quite well academically.

  7. #77
    Senior Member Pixelholic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oeufa View Post
    I wish I'd been able to discuss problems with them. Any time I tried to talk about something that was really bothering me (and it would have to be something fairly serious for me to want to talk) I felt I was being dismissed. I don't bother anymore.
    Eh, my parents actively dismissed me and told me to deal with problems myself. So I did, and then they were curious as to why I was getting into fights and not talking to them anymore
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” -Nietzsche

  8. #78
    Feline Member kelric's Avatar
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    All in all, I think my parents did a good job -- far better than most, and if I ever have kids, I'll consider myself fortunate if I can do as good a job as they did. They loved us, took good care of us, gave us a stable upbringing and always placed our welfare first.

    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    As weird as it sounds, I wish my SJ parents had pushed me harder. As long as I was "on track" (grades, playing well with others, church), then everything was okay.

    I doubt they'd have opened up an alternative life so I ended up being an artist in a basement hole in NYC or anything, but there were a lot of things out in the world that I had no idea existed. If they had pushed, maybe I would've reached higher, further.

    Other than that, they were pretty good parents. A bit bossy about the little details of day-to-day life, but I can't complain much at all. They were so sensible I had a hard time rebelling. Maybe rebelling is what I really needed.
    Mac and I've talked some before about this sort of thing, so it's not too surprising that I agree with him here. School, chores, and behavior was *everything* to my parents. If I did that (and excelled in the standardized metrics by which such things are officially measured), things were fine. But there was always the stress of expectations that seemed at once too much and at the same time lacking resonance.

    If I could change anything (realizing that I had it darned good, don't get me wrong), I'd say to push a little more in some areas, particularly in fostering an outlook that life wasn't about much more than work and money. Those are lessons that have served me well in a lot of ways, but for example, I was surprised reading this thread and seeing that people *did stuff* like sports, museums, talk about current events, etc. with their parents. With me that happened maybe once a year... tops (less as I got older). Things like art, travel, history, etc. really had no place -- except of course, that I was expected to get good grades if I encountered such topics in school -- but although they never said it, my understanding was always that I was to take elective courses that would serve to get into college, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    - I wish they taught me to experience life and find challenges and be strong and courageous instead of teaching me to be afraid/anxious of everything.
    .
    I can see some of this in my childhood too. Risks were anathema (often under the umbrella of "you could get me sued"), and safety and certainty were valued, almost above all.

    Enough on that -- I had it relatively good, all things considered. Differences in outlook were there, but I can't complain about the results. Any failures are my own.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #79
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    What do you wish your parents had done for you as a child?

    What did they do which really stands out as significant?
    I suppose that I don't really have any significant complaints about my upbringing. I was a pretty independent and driven child and both parents allowed me to be that way.

    I always felt loved, encouraged and supported by my mom. It was definitely unconditional. She could be a bit volatile though and sometimes not the most rational/reasonable person which could be difficult. My dad was the ultimate in responsibility, level headed and reasonable. He provided very little advice but when he did, it was extremely valuable (to this day). If there is a complaint - he didn't do much with us and was never verbally supportive or encouraging. So, in retrospect, each was very good at things that the other was not good at.

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  10. #80
    Junior Member streetlightfancy's Avatar
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    My parents never pushed me to do anything. It sounds weird, because I feel that many people have the opposite complaint, but it upsets me that my parents never made an effort to get me to DO things as a child. I never played any sports, never did dance, never went to camp, didn't have a lot of friends to talk to. Maybe it was because of money, but it sucked to miss out on so many quintessential childhood experiences.

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