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  1. #1
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Default What motivates hate?

    Sometimes I'll come across a comment from someone who feels intense hate towards another person. Sometimes the hate is towards a friend or family member who crossed a line or violated them. Sometimes it is someone who isn't even part of their life. Sometimes a poster online will say they literally hate another poster. There will be people who seem completely reasonable and kind-hearted, and then suddenly they have rage towards some person because they have passed a judgment on them of some sort. I have some people I could reasonably hate, but I'm not sure what purpose it serves beyond increasing a sense of caution.

    Do you hate someone? Is it for personal reasons such as family or friends violating you? Is it based on being "rubbed the wrong way" or annoyed? Do you hate people you do not know well?

    I know anger is a reaction to feeling one's rights are violated. I'd be curious for people to explain the process by which they come to hate someone. How is hate useful and what purpose does it serve?
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
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    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
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    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  2. #2
    Senior Member InsatiableCuriosity's Avatar
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    I do not hate anyone - hate is such an ugly word. It was banned in my house when my children were small, particularly when used to describe how they felt about people.

    As a child, by age 10, I had made conscious decisions not to hate people (one in particular) but rationalised that it was the deed that was appalling and that the person enacting those deeds deserved pity rather than hate. This was my own survival rather than be eaten up by an emotion so negative it would affect me more than the object of hatred were I to succumb to it.

    I still look at even the most heinous acts in our society from that perspective, but do not hate and do not hold grudges. Life is too short to waste precious energy on something with such negative personal consequences.
    "Study hard what interests you the most in the most undisciplined, irreverent and original manner possible."
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    "Never tell a person a thing is impossible. G*d/the Universe may have been waiting all this time for someone ignorant enough of the impossibility to do just that thing."
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  3. #3
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    In some cases hate is what happens when love goes wrong and the person is hurt... the people who I've seen most intensely hate someone else were people who had previously loved them... at other times hate seems to be a result of someone representing everything that goes against the values of the person who hates... like genocidal tyrants... or they hate those who destroy those that they love. It seems as though in most cases hate is attached to love though

    I don't really hate anyone... it takes too much effort
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #4
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    ^ Agreed. Nicely said.

    I often dislike, but seldom hate.

  5. #5
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    I think a lot of hate/anger stems from unacknowledged pain.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  6. #6
    (blankpages) Xenon's Avatar
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    Helplessness. I think whenever I've felt hatred toward someone, it was someone who'd made me feel very helpless in some way. Not only did they cause me pain, but I felt powerless to do anything about it. Either I was a child and genuinely powerless against them, or I was older and they'd reminded me previous feelings of powerlessness.

    As whatever said, it does seem attached to love a lot. Love can make you feel helpless when loved ones betray you or hurt you, or when someone you love is mistreated and you can't do anything about it.

  7. #7
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I hate everyone before I know them. Sometimes I still hate them after I know them. Always have always will hate the people I don't know. It's not like a want to kill you hate, its more of I have no clue who you are and so i don't like you.

  8. #8
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    a lack of understanding
    Weathergirl: District 38 is sunny. Slight rock showers this morning. Chance of rock showers into the afternoon—20 percent. District 39 is cloudy. Chance of rock showers this afternoon—10 percent.
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    Weathergirl: Chance of rock showers today upgraded to 90 percent.
    Edward: Really.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Its really hard for me to "hate" someone. I usually try and find good in everyone, but when someone crosses the line and is disloyal to me Its over, they are cut off. Its hard for me to hold a grudge, if they want to talk things out Im usually receptive to it, there might be a second chance for them If I feel I can trust them again.

    There is one girl at work I HATE...we butt heads a lot. She criticizes me and is disrespectful to me and pretty much almost everyone. She's immature, cocky, fake, and pretty moody, one day she is best friends with you then the next day she is as cold as ice. She is the kind of person who rolls their eyes and snickers at people during meetings. I can still be cordial with her, but she is one person that really gets on my last nerve. Hope she never comes back from maternity leave, she is toxic to the team.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  10. #10
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
    There is one girl at work I HATE...we butt heads a lot. She criticizes me and is disrespectful to me and pretty much almost everyone. She's immature, cocky, fake, and pretty moody, one day she is best friends with you then the next day she is as cold as ice. She is the kind of person who rolls their eyes and snickers at people during meetings. I can still be cordial with her, but she is one person that really gets on my last nerve. Hope she never comes back from maternity leave, she is toxic to the team.
    wow we both hate the same type of person.

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