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View Poll Results: When I see jealousy in my partner, it is generally a...

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  • xNTP: positive thing/something I can appreciate/like when displayed/sign of commitment

    4 14.29%
  • xNTP: negative thing/something I don't appreciate/dislike when displayed/sign of problems

    7 25.00%
  • xNTJ: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xNTJ: negative thing...

    1 3.57%
  • xNFP: positive thing...

    2 7.14%
  • xNFP: negative thing...

    4 14.29%
  • xNFJ: positive thing...

    4 14.29%
  • xNFJ: negative thing...

    3 10.71%
  • xSTP: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xSTP: negative thing...

    2 7.14%
  • xSFP: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xSFP: negative thing...

    0 0%
  • xSTJ: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xSTJ: negative thing...

    0 0%
  • xSFJ: positive thing...

    1 3.57%
  • xSFJ: negative thing...

    0 0%
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Results 41 to 50 of 253

  1. #41
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Is that something that only comes from jealousy? If the person you were with did everything in their ability to show you that they cherished and adored you would you feel they cared more if they displayed a hint of jealousy at times?
    Maybe I'll give a specific sort of hypothetical example. If someone is hitting on me and I've done my part of creating a boundary, it still feels good to have my partner display affection towards me in that person's presence. It's not about not trusting me, it's about showing the hitter-onner person that I'm not alone.
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  2. #42
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    Maybe I'll give a specific sort of hypothetical example. If someone is hitting on me and I've done my part of creating a boundary, it still feels good to have my partner display affection towards me in that person's presence. It's not about not trusting me, it's about showing the hitter-onner person that I'm not alone.
    That I can appreciate, although I'd see it more as my partner stepping in to make it clear to the person attempting to hit on me that I'm not there alone like you said, sure I can tell them to rack off on my own but it seems like quite a number of would be flirters at bars don't believe you when you say you have a boyfriend, or don't care and proceed to sleaze all over you anyway, so him (or any male friend) getting in the picture expedites the departure of those who are only interested in conversation with benefits. I would only see jealousy being part of it if I was engaged in good conversation and he interrupted because he was insecure, not because I was uncomfortable. In your situation, well I say that's just gentlemanly (or whatever the female equivalent is when it's done the other way around).

  3. #43
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    That I can appreciate, although I'd see it more as my partner stepping in to make it clear to the person attempting to hit on me that I'm not there alone like you said, sure I can tell them to rack off on my own but it seems like quite a number of would be flirters at bars don't believe you when you say you have a boyfriend, or don't care and proceed to sleaze all over you anyway, so him (or any male friend) getting in the picture expedites the departure of those who are only interested in conversation with benefits. I would only see jealousy being part of it if I was engaged in good conversation and he interrupted because he was insecure, not because I was uncomfortable. In your situation, well I say that's just gentlemanly (or whatever the female equivalent is when it's done the other way around).
    Yes! All of this. Very well put, and a good distinction.
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  4. #44
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    It's hard to explain, it's like the concept is almost clear to me, it's a feeling thing, not a rational thing and I can almost understand that feeling but it's all vague and blurry as if it's something I've experienced and liked it was a lifetime ago so to speak. I'm trying to recall a memory of an emotion that I'm not convinced I've ever experienced *kicks Si* so I can't quite appreciate what it is. The idea of feeling some kind of comfort in a partners expressed jealousy almost makes sense, but not quite. Everything that can be associated in a positive manner comes down to something else entirely different to me, such as being the catalyst for communication, well communication is the positive thing, not the jealousy. Being needed is something that can be expressed in numerous positive ways and to me jealousy just doesn't read as showing that you're needed. And so on.

    I think it's coming out as something that when appreciated by someone who is self aware and has maturity there's an acknowledgement that it's a negative thing, and yet it still may exist despite logic saying to them it shouldn't, and the thing that puzzles me the most is it creates positive feelings for that person so there isn't much encouragement to change that. It's like it's a flaw that is embraced.

  5. #45
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Maybe possessiveness is different from jealousy. For me, I like it when my SO displays a little bit of possessiveness, like when he holds me and says "You're minnnnee!" or when I go out and he says "Be careful and stay away from boys" in a half-joking manner. I think it's sweet

  6. #46
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    Maybe possessiveness is different from jealousy. For me, I like it when my SO displays a little bit of possessiveness, like when he holds me and says "You're minnnnee!" or when I go out and he says "Be careful and stay away from boys" in a half-joking manner. I think it's sweet
    Yes, and fathers are notoriously jealous of their daughters. But the daughters seem to negotiate it quite well in the West. And it is seen as part of a protective father.

    In fact I think it lets the daughter know she is emotionally valuable to her father and so will be emotionally valuable to her swain.

    Unfortunately it can turn lethal under Islam and lead to the honour killing of the daughter.

  7. #47
    Member CocoB's Avatar
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    A small amount of Jealousy is ok... IMO, but Jealousy always manifests into something else and can be potentially dangerous in any relationship. It is from my personal experience that jealousy does not disappear as easily as it appeared and once it is there, chances are it will only grow and bring with it more negativity. So, no... Jealousy is not good for a relationship IMO... Small jealousy, yes. BIG, DISTRUSTFUL. INSECURE jealousy; NO!! And, Trust me... there is a DIFFERENCE!!
    "I Guess ii KiLLa-Kill Em.. I Guess ii AM the Villian.... I Park on the Curb, i'm on the Owner of the Buildin" NM

  8. #48
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    I've never been with a very jealous person before. I suppose I would have to learn to get used to it if I loved them, but here's the thing with jealousy for me: It just seems to walk a fine line with controlling.

    I never aim to control my partner and what he does in life, or whom he talks to in life..

    But I'd be a liar if I never admit that there are times I wish other people would save me the social awkwardness of rejecting someone. It's easier for someone else to step in and be all "who the hell?" and rescue the other person. To me, it has little to do with jealousy and more courtesy.. like, here, I'll be nice and help you out this time. I do the same in return, naturally.

    I have, however, had a boyfriend that was upset that I never got jealous.. I can see where one would get caring out of jealousy. I just express how I care differently.

    With that said, I haven't ever been in a position to be jealous.. so who knows? Maybe I'm jealous and I have no idea.
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  9. #49
    Senior Member LEGERdeMAIN's Avatar
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    usually when i'm coupled i don't let my woman do anything that would possibly invite bad things to haeepn an d stuff. like, if she went somewere alone and she was hanging out with strange men and flirting and stuff, i would be so mad. I owuld hope she didn't say anything about it so i wouldn't be mad, but if i heard about it i would be like, bitch please, and i would probably get super violent and want to punch some guys in the face and probably get arrested. its not because i'm possessive, i just like girl to know her place. its not mean or anything but if i have girl that does dirty things i will not hesitate to burn all of her stuff in front yard and kick her to curb
    but not curb stomp, that is taking it too far and is not politically correct anymore.
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  10. #50
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    I think burning people's things in the front yard is perfectly acceptable if they cheat on you and you're living together.

    But that's another thread.

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