User Tag List

View Poll Results: When I see jealousy in my partner, it is generally a...

Voters
28. You may not vote on this poll
  • xNTP: positive thing/something I can appreciate/like when displayed/sign of commitment

    4 14.29%
  • xNTP: negative thing/something I don't appreciate/dislike when displayed/sign of problems

    7 25.00%
  • xNTJ: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xNTJ: negative thing...

    1 3.57%
  • xNFP: positive thing...

    2 7.14%
  • xNFP: negative thing...

    4 14.29%
  • xNFJ: positive thing...

    4 14.29%
  • xNFJ: negative thing...

    3 10.71%
  • xSTP: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xSTP: negative thing...

    2 7.14%
  • xSFP: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xSFP: negative thing...

    0 0%
  • xSTJ: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xSTJ: negative thing...

    0 0%
  • xSFJ: positive thing...

    1 3.57%
  • xSFJ: negative thing...

    0 0%
First 2345614 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 253

  1. #31
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    So some people need a negative emotion as proof someone cares??

    Don't your partners express enough positive emotions??

    Their jealousy proves they care more than say, their consideration,support and affection?

    Interesting.

  2. #32
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    xNFP
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Posts
    1,395

    Default

    I'm a jealous type, but I internalize 95% of it.

    I hate when guys try to make me jealous. If it happens often I lose respect for them and think they're a moron, which they are.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  3. #33
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Enneagram
    9w8 so/sx
    Posts
    11,544

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    For the people who say all jealousy is bad, do you never have these feelings or is it that you don't voice them or you surpress them?
    I don't say "bad" I say negative and a sign of other issues.

    But sure I have experienced jealousy, it has always been related to some kind of insecurity and yes, I will seek a resolution, usually within myself, in an attempt to analyse why I feel insecure as unless the other person deserves to not be trusted than the issue is within me.

    Doesn't mean I wouldn't voice things but saying "I'm jealous, fix that" doesn't strike me as someone else's issue if they are trustworthy, understanding where the insecurity comes from and discussing that is more apt. If they are trustworthy then they should not have to alter their behaviour because of my insecurities, it would be healthier for me to overcome them.

  4. #34
    ReflecTcelfeR
    Guest

    Default

    I can see jealousy also corrolating with importance. The fact that you show jealousy so as to not lose that which you consider to be prized... though as many have said after awhile the partner in whatever relationship you are in already, over time, understands how important they are to you and isn't needed.

  5. #35

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Nice! I think the part that I'm curious about is coming to light.

    People mostly recognise and accept that jealousy is a negative emotion that is suggestive of issues that should be overcome, and yet at the same time there can be a desire, no matter how small, that their partner displays some signs of jealousy.

    But why is that? Is it about them showing how much they need you, showing you have some control/power over them, that they want to have a sense of ownership over you, what?
    I think it is that jealousy comes from a feeling of need. And everybody wants to be wanted. It is similar to fear in that fear is uncontrollable excitement.

  6. #36
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Enneagram
    9w8 so/sx
    Posts
    11,544

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    I think jealousy isn't a negative thing as it makes people talk.
    If said jealousy isn't founded on a partner actually intending to cheat or something like that, it can make both parts of a relationship to understand each other better.
    I use the word negative as I see it having a detrimental impact on a relationship and ones psyche but I apply no judgment to it. I accept that if a couple talk through their jealousy issues and resolve them that their relationship will likely be strengthened as you elude, but it's the open communication that's a positive thing, not the jealousy, that is simply a negative catalyst that brings about circumstances where the need to talk is created.

  7. #37
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,595

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    For those who experience jealousy first hand in committed relationships, would you feel comfort or discomfort if your partner expressed the same level of jealousy?
    This will go against some wise and sensible posts, but it makes me deeply happy for a partner to have a little jealousy for me. It is a feeling of being significant. There is a kind of jealousy that is an expression of insecurity and an inflated fear of loss. I have struggled with that myself, but to be completely without it feels like insignificance to me and not trust. That I have some fear of loss is only because the person means a lot to me. I want to care enough that losing them would hurt alot. I love for someone to be willing to be mutually vulnerable with me in that way. I don't want a safe life where every feeling is protected under all circumstances.

    I'm curious if people who desire to be completely free of jealousy have ever actualized that?
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  8. #38
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Enneagram
    9w8 so/sx
    Posts
    11,544

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    This will go against some wise and sensible posts, but it makes me deeply happy for a partner to have a little jealousy for me. It is a feeling of being significant. There is a kind of jealousy that is an expression of insecurity and an inflated fear of loss. I have struggled with that myself, but to be completely without it feels like insignificance to me and not trust. That I have some fear of loss is only because the person means a lot to me. I want to care enough that losing them would hurt alot. I love for someone to be willing to be mutually vulnerable with me in that way. I don't want a safe life where every feeling is protected under all circumstances.
    Is that something that only comes from jealousy? If the person you were with did everything in their ability to show you that they cherished and adored you would you feel they cared more if they displayed a hint of jealousy at times?

  9. #39
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    7w8 so/sx
    Socionics
    SLE Ti
    Posts
    2,182

    Default

    To me, the presence of jealousy means something went wrong, either in the mentality of one person with the misinterpretation of an action or just the mentality of one person.

    It usually never ends up pretty.
    Communication is key, but it can only do so much. Jealousy can absolutely rip a relationship up into shreds.

  10. #40
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    xNFP
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Posts
    1,395

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    This will go against some wise and sensible posts, but it makes me deeply happy for a partner to have a little jealousy for me. It is a feeling of being significant. There is a kind of jealousy that is an expression of insecurity and an inflated fear of loss. I have struggled with that myself, but to be completely without it feels like insignificance to me and not trust. That I have some fear of loss is only because the person means a lot to me. I want to care enough that losing them would hurt alot. I love for someone to be willing to be mutually vulnerable with me in that way. I don't want a safe life where every feeling is protected under all circumstances.

    I'm curious if people who desire to be completely free of jealousy have ever actualized that?
    I enjoy an aloofly possessive kind of boyfriend. No supervising my fun, but taking an interest in who I'm spending time with etc...

    I really don't mind someone claiming they own my ass as long as they're not an ass about it
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

Similar Threads

  1. TV shows you're embarrassed to admit you watch!
    By Tigerlily in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 154
    Last Post: 05-21-2012, 06:07 PM
  2. [ESFJ] How do you show ESFJ's you care?
    By Wiley45 in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 01-22-2010, 10:12 PM
  3. [INTP] How do you INTPs show that you care?
    By songofcalamity in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 57
    Last Post: 10-13-2009, 08:45 AM
  4. [NF] Do you care how others feel?
    By Alienclock in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 141
    Last Post: 09-03-2008, 11:22 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO