User Tag List

View Poll Results: When I see jealousy in my partner, it is generally a...

Voters
28. You may not vote on this poll
  • xNTP: positive thing/something I can appreciate/like when displayed/sign of commitment

    4 14.29%
  • xNTP: negative thing/something I don't appreciate/dislike when displayed/sign of problems

    7 25.00%
  • xNTJ: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xNTJ: negative thing...

    1 3.57%
  • xNFP: positive thing...

    2 7.14%
  • xNFP: negative thing...

    4 14.29%
  • xNFJ: positive thing...

    4 14.29%
  • xNFJ: negative thing...

    3 10.71%
  • xSTP: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xSTP: negative thing...

    2 7.14%
  • xSFP: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xSFP: negative thing...

    0 0%
  • xSTJ: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xSTJ: negative thing...

    0 0%
  • xSFJ: positive thing...

    1 3.57%
  • xSFJ: negative thing...

    0 0%
First 4121314151624 Last

Results 131 to 140 of 253

  1. #131
    meh Salomé's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    10,540

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    I made the mistake of assuming that we were going by the same definition. I have defined what I mean by love now, at least somewhat, and I believe you know what I mean.
    There is no standard definition of love that says it's impossible without jealousy. That's just your interpretation. For some reason you think that romantic love without jealousy is undesirable. Maybe you'll change your mind once you begin a relationship.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  2. #132
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    There is no standard definition of love that says it's impossible without jealousy. That's just your interpretation. For some reason you think that romantic love without jealousy is undesirable. Maybe you'll change your mind once you begin a relationship.
    Or maybe he won't.

    I actually was very unhappy in a relationship where the guy I was with lacked expressions of jealousy, and passive to a point that it turned me off.

  3. #133
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    Yin
    Enneagram
    One sx/sp
    Posts
    13,907

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    There is no standard definition of love that says it's impossible without jealousy. That's just your interpretation. For some reason you think that romantic love without jealousy is undesirable. Maybe you'll change your mind once you begin a relationship.
    A lack of jealousy pretty much indicates a lack of vested interest.

    Wouldn't being completely devoid of jealousy mean that you care not how much interest a person devotes in someone other than you, how much they share with that person, and what they do with that person? I think having no jealousy would mean not even being bothered if you parter had sex with other people, or shared personal information that they wouldn't with you, or preferer spending time with others, etc.. I think if you have absolutely no jealousy in a relationhip, then you value it as much as you do your relationship with any stranger.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


    _________________________________
    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  4. #134
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    A lack of jealousy pretty much indicates a lack of vested interest.

    Wouldn't being completely devoid of jealousy mean that you care not how much interest a person devotes in someone other than you, how much they share with that person, and what they do with that person? I think having no jealousy would mean not even being bothered if you parter had sex with other people, or shared personal information that they wouldn't with you, or preferer spending time with others, etc.. I think if you have absolutely no jealousy in a relationhip, then you value it as much as you do your relationship with any stranger.
    Yeah! It seems almost like a doormat quality if it's not apathetic. Both traits - extreme passivity and apathy - turn me off.

  5. #135
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6
    Posts
    24,060

    Default

    None of that turns out to be accurate, though.

    I don't think my husband gets jealous. He just seems to consider it a waste of emotional energy- either two people have agreed that they are together and staying that way, or not, and if they have, then jealousy would mean a lack of trust. He's actually quite passionate though, and a deeply devoted partner.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  6. #136
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    Yin
    Enneagram
    One sx/sp
    Posts
    13,907

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    None of that turns out to be accurate, though.

    I don't think my husband gets jealous. He just seems to consider it a waste of emotional energy- either two people have agreed that they are together and staying that way, or not, and if they have, then jealousy would mean a lack of trust. He's actually quite passionate though, and a deeply devoted partner.
    But would it bother him if this agreement he made to stay together came to an end?

    And what do you think would make him decide to be the one to end it, if anything?
    Go to sleep, iguana.


    _________________________________
    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  7. #137
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6
    Posts
    24,060

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    But would it bother him if this agreement he made to stay together came to an end?

    And what do you think would make him decide to be the one to end it, if anything?
    Of course it would bother him, and I'm not sure what would make him decide to be the one to end it, but it would have to be some serious shit going down. If shit went down to the degree that he was considering ending it, I'm sure he'd be a wreck, but I'm not sure how that relates to jealousy. If shit doesn't go down and he doesn't ever feel any jealousy because there's never any reason to because that trust is never broken in his eyes, according to your definition, it's not real love? Or does hypothetical jealousy count IYO?
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  8. #138
    meh Salomé's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    10,540

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    A lack of jealousy pretty much indicates a lack of vested interest.

    Wouldn't being completely devoid of jealousy mean that you care not how much interest a person devotes in someone other than you, how much they share with that person, and what they do with that person? I think having no jealousy would mean not even being bothered if you parter had sex with other people, or shared personal information that they wouldn't with you, or preferer spending time with others, etc.. I think if you have absolutely no jealousy in a relationhip, then you value it as much as you do your relationship with any stranger.
    No. Jealousy and love are incompatible.
    If I love you and you never give me any cause for jealousy, it would be inappropriate for me to feel jealous. Unloving, in fact. That doesn't imply that I'm blase about how you choose to conduct yourself. It means that I trust you implicitly in the absence of any reason not to.

    If I love you and you give me reasonable cause for jealousy, that would be unloving on your part. I have to then decide whether you are invested enough in the relationship for me to want to maintain it, or if I might have been misled as to your character. Being jealous is not a solution - it contributes nothing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  9. #139
    Senior Member NoahFence's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    288

    Default

    I would never be jealous for the primary reason that if my trust were broken to that degree, I'd never want to see the person again. Jealousy implies you want them back. I can't think I would. I would view it as a clear assertion they didn't want me, too. I'm not suggesting it wouldn't hurt, I would be devastated. But there is no combination of events that I can think of that would result in me feeling jealous for a person's affections.

    I might be jealous of their car, though. Rich people suck.
    "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo

  10. #140
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    Yin
    Enneagram
    One sx/sp
    Posts
    13,907

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Of course it would bother him, and I'm not sure what would make him decide to be the one to end it, but it would have to be some serious shit going down. If shit went down to the degree that he was considering ending it, I'm sure he'd be a wreck, but I'm not sure how that relates to jealousy. If shit doesn't go down and he doesn't ever feel any jealousy because there's never any reason to because that trust is never broken in his eyes, according to your definition, it's not real love? Or does hypothetical jealousy count IYO?
    Yes the hypothetical jealousy counts. The sentiment and rationale
    do not just appear at the very moment someone would have cause to feel jealous, and then go away as the situation does, that would be cognitively inexplicable. What would even be defining the triggering situation?

    Basically, you could just be talking about the good fortune of never having had jealousy put to action. It hasn't been needed. But if you can hypothetically imagine a situation that would make you jealous, if you can have a dream about your husban that would make you jealous, you are jealous.

    Presumably there are differing amounts of jealousy, I don't know what the right amount is per se, but my opinion is that you have to have jealousy over your partner doing certain things with other people, or you relationship with that person is completely unworthy of note, akin to my relationship to my mail deliverer.

    Jealousy is anger over something that you think should be yours going to someone else. If you can have no jealousy, your relationship must be a blank contract.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


    _________________________________
    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

Similar Threads

  1. TV shows you're embarrassed to admit you watch!
    By Tigerlily in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 154
    Last Post: 05-21-2012, 06:07 PM
  2. [ESFJ] How do you show ESFJ's you care?
    By Wiley45 in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 01-22-2010, 10:12 PM
  3. [INTP] How do you INTPs show that you care?
    By songofcalamity in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 57
    Last Post: 10-13-2009, 08:45 AM
  4. [NF] Do you care how others feel?
    By Alienclock in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 141
    Last Post: 09-03-2008, 11:22 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO