I've observed how much I've changed in the past year. I feel much happier now, enough that I think I can give some advice to those who are struggling to find happiness right now.
I was in a rough patch once and almost dropped out of college.
I relied on things outside of myself for happiness: alcohol and the approval/love of others.
I made a lot of decisions I personally feel were dumb.
Some of the people who I've been close to most of my life felt like they were losing me because I changed a lot but mostly in negative ways.
I got out of a rough relationship and felt like that being myself was detrimental to my well-being, so I sought to change myself. I became very sensitive about my image and did everything I could to preserve its well-being.
I feared abandonment so much that I did everything I could to avoid it.
I thought I had the key to get everyone to like me but the one person who grew to despise me was myself which was the problem.
Don't try to be something you're not. Don't try to do things so others like you. If you live life the way you want to live it, the people who matter will like you and you can forget the people who don't like you.
Don't try to impress anyone- even if you do so by being fake, you won't really be happy because such illusions don't make you happy. Even if others believe in your image, deep down, you know that your image is imaginary.
If someone out there is going through some of the problems I once went through, I'm here to let you know that you can improve things in your life. Things aren't hopeless. Everyone deserves to be happy,