I never knew well how to harness anger or when to express it.
Normally I just buried it until it would build up and explode. So essentially the anger I was experiencing might have been justified from a long pattern of violation that I was experiencing, but my expression of it was not (it usually seemed to come out of the blue to outside observers).
Sometimes now I allow myself to express anger when I don't have to. I'm not sure all the time that it is right (because I really monitor my behavior and try hard to kind and calm to avoid hurting others).
For example, I snapped at someone in my blog today, but it was a conscious choice: I wanted to let them know the impact on me of their comments, which I felt were inappropriate for the conversation we were having. And I felt their comments were deserving of an angry response, in order to reaffirm the boundaries of what I am willing to accept. But I'm still not sure if I should have or not, because I was choosing to allow anger to be expressed rather than being able to say I couldn't help myself. So obviously I still have an anger issue: Emotionally I still assume that anger shouldn't be expressed if you can control it, which intellectually I don't think that is correct.
After I choose to express anger, I always wonder if I should have, or should I have simply controlled it and not expressed it. I don't know.