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Thread: Avoidance

  1. #1
    Senior Member angelhair45's Avatar
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    Default Avoidance

    Are you an avoider? I avoid and procrastinate way too much. One quality would definitely like to change. Anyone have this problem? Anyone overcome this problem?
    http://bohemianextrovert.wordpress.com/
    Please excuse the long drawn out ramble above.
    I have to hear what I've said before I know what I think.

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  2. #2
    facettes de la petite mor Words of Ivory's Avatar
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    I used not be. Up until about a year or two ago, I was overly aggressive in my verbal expression of my opinions. I'd jump straight into every situation, regardless of the circumstances. if something went awry, I'd deal with it.

    Now I tend to just keep my distance. It is far easier to deal with people if you never get into a situation that creates confrontation in the first place. I am entirely aware of how cowardly that is.

    How do you overcome it? Hopefully some-one wiser can answer that one.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    "Life calls out the meaning of pure jubilance,
    if you'll only take the time to hear it."
    ~ Words of Ivory ~

  3. #3
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelhair45 View Post
    Are you an avoider? I avoid and procrastinate way too much. One quality would definitely like to change. Anyone have this problem? Anyone overcome this problem?
    Yes Yes. NOO.

  4. #4
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    Yup, guilty! Haven't overcome it...yet. Can't say that I'm actually doing anything to overcome it either. I have my moments when I'm like a tank going through a wall but if it's not anything I consider very important, I'd rather not do anything.

  5. #5
    Riva
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelhair45 View Post
    Are you an avoider? I avoid and procrastinate way too much. One quality would definitely like to change. Anyone have this problem? Anyone overcome this problem?
    I used to. it is the main weakness i had. Infact the only one I've noticed that I had but couldn't deal with it for a long time.

    I have overcome this problem on own way. I would take an A4 fold it into 4 sides and write things down that I should do. If I complete a task written i would tick it. If anyone of the tasks are not completed it would be carried to the next day. (I even write the date on top of the paper.)

    This method worked very well since if I didn't complete a task it would go to the next day and would have to complete it atleast on the next day. (I would carry this to-do-list in my wallet.)

  6. #6
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    I avoid pain whenever possible and I am super cautious in general.. I dont think its a bad thing. But communication wise (in my relationships)...its really bad because I tend to let things build up to the point of explosion. Not cool, gotta work on that. When I want to bring even the smallest thing up to my significant other, I know what his reaction will be (hes an ENTP)...so I feel like its not worth it to even bring up. I dont want to be annoying and naggy.

  7. #7
    Member Cephalonimbus's Avatar
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    Yes, in fact it's my greatest flaw.

    If i could change one thing about myself, it would be to be able to overcome my own mental obstacles much quicker and easier, or better yet, not to throw up these obstacles in the first place.

    The funny thing is that there's no way to justify it to myself rationally. Avoiding something i find difficult has always been harder than actually doing it; it leads to disappointment in my lack of vigor and all these worries and self-criticism cost a tremendous amount of energy and are bad for my self-esteem. Nevertheless, i typically don't do anything until i'm so sick of the situation that i end up doing it out of frustration/desperation, which can take a very long time.
    ik sprokkel wat dagen, drop baggage,
    soms heb ik geen zin om die koffers te dragen,
    ik laat los, los het op, word onzichtbaar
    en geef de buitenlucht wat ruimte terug
    dus.. nu zit ik op m'n fiets alsof het niets is,
    maar niets kan toch niet uit zichzelf pedalen laten draaien?

    ~ Typhoon

  8. #8
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I don't exactly avoid conflict, or harsh criticism, but I do kind of play it off for awhile.. So I avoid in that way. Yet, I still hang with the person, acting like it's all good. If it happens too much, then I retaliate... I get worse than they are, and then they act like I'm the one out of line. Like, "where did that come from??" It'd probably be best if I didn't hold things inside, and just articulate more readily. That's better than raging later on. ...Procrastination.. yeah. I don't feel like doing a lot of mundane things, but it stacks up after awhile. It'd probably be in my interest to take care of certain tasks more quickly, but I don't exactly have a major problem with how it is. I just kinda throw myself at it when I'm ready.

  9. #9
    Member Cheshire Grin's Avatar
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    Hmmm...I tend to avoid getting something done only if it's something for myself. For example, I might leave a paper worth the majority of my grade till the last minute, but if somebody asked me to walk their dog or come up with a master plan for taking over the world using water guns and table salt I would get to it straight away.

    I watched this guy's video back in high school (while I was procrastinating, no doubt ) and thought this his ideas were rather interesting. Worth checking out, but quite long (30 mins).
    Why people procrastinate
    The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. --A. Rand

  10. #10
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
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    It depends.
    I'll avoid situations where there is no logical reason for me to be in that are harmful to myself...such as seeing old friends which I am purposely avoiding now because I cannot physically face them or even talk to them ever again.
    I also avoid doing homework unless there's a guaranteed reward involved (ex. if you get this done by 5, you can go to so-and-so's party or see a movie).
    I usually don't avoid confrontational situations though. I like to prove my point that I was right and they were not, and if I avoid that, they might as well assume I have forfeited.

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