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  1. #1
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Default Being in touch with our own mortality

    Are you in touch with your own mortality and all of its implications?

    Is it of benefit to be in touch with our mortality?

    What can a person do to be better in touch with their own mortality?

    Some implications of our mortality:

    1. This could be the last day in your life or the life of someone close.
    2. Will what you're doing now matter to anyone after you die, or even in 5 years?
    3. What can I do to make sure that I put things that will matter after I die as top priority?
    4. You may not live to see milestones in the life of you, your family, and your friends which you look forward to and assume you will see. (Personal note: If I can ever bring myself to do it without crying the entire time, I would like to record videos of me talking to my kids which they can watch at various stages of life... graduation, marriage, having kids. I may have to just write letters, as even this is difficult enough.)
    5. Others rely on you for specific tasks and information which are difficult to replace. (salary, pensions, savings, property ownership, business knowledge, fixing things, emotional support)
    6. You might outlive everyone you know.
    7. If you live a long time, the world will be totally different from the one you know now, and you will be less capable of adapting to it by then.
    8. If you live a long time, you will likely be somewhat forgotten and be seen with less respect because Western culture values youth and those with potential rather than those nearing the end of their life.

  2. #2
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    #6 is a scary prospect.
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  3. #3
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    Are you in touch with your own mortality and all of its implications?
    I'm not and I don't wish to be. I prefer to think about the future and to live this moment. Things happen in the future if they will. There is no point in thinking abou the mortality so I won't.

  4. #4
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I regularly attend the deathbeds of parishioners who are making their final confessions, and also regularly see corpses of varying 'ages', which are to be anointed and stuff. I attend a lot of funerals, and have seen over 30 people die in front of my eyes. I also recently buried my father.

    I have a pretty realistic looking skeleton with an axe standing on top of my monitor, as a reminder...

    I think on it during meditation quite often, and use it to centre myself from time to time when things seem to lose perspective.

    All in all I'd say that although I'm still not quite as aware of it at all times as I'd like to be, I'm more in touch with my mortality than I was in previous years, and also probably more than most people I know (outside of the religious field in which I work). And I'm not afraid of it at all.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    Are you in touch with your own mortality and all of its implications?
    I'm on top of it. I'm prepared for the not-too-distant inevitability that either my wife or I will outlive the other (I've set up pension and insurance arrangements to cover us both).

    I've lost family members and friends; I got over it. I consider people replaceable. If I live too long, I'll just move into an old folks home and make new friends.

    I don't have any illusions about my importance to the world or vice versa. I don't have any big projects that need continuance after my death; and if I live too long and can't keep up with current events, that's fine. As long as I can putter about and have an acquaintance or two to chat with, I don't need to be on top of everything happening in the world.

    I don't see a problem at all with my mortality. I had to face up to it early along when I was in the military and got sent to some hot spots. I've accomplished or at least checked out all my big goals and desires. When my time comes--no regrets.

    Of course, I'm in my 50s, a lot older than most of the posters here. It's coming up a little quicker on me than most, so I'm a little more hands-on about it.

  6. #6
    Senior Member lazyhappy's Avatar
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    Are you in touch with your own mortality and all of its implications?
    I'm not as in touch with my mortality as i wish to be.

    Is it of benefit to be in touch with our mortality?
    yes and no. yes because you will not get hurt if you are in touch with it and no because it is impossible, and the only way to be in touch with it is to not get close to anyone and what kind of life is that? and you also have to be able to feel nothing.

    What can a person do to be better in touch with their own mortality?
    i don't know

    This could be the last day in your life or the life of someone close.
    i am not ready for things, i don't want to die. not for myself or what will happen next (for i do not know what's going to happen so i don't care) but for those i care about... i do believe that the only way to truly die is to be forgotten but... i don't want my mom, my friends and sister to be sad. even though i couldn't see thier sadness (though... i don't know i can't). and they might be able to get over it eventually but i am still scared.

    and i am not ready for those i care about to die either... sure i know it could happen but the truth is, reality is not something i can honestly accept... i'll break down, and cry. death is not something you can just shoulder off if it's a death of someone close.

    Will what you're doing now matter to anyone after you die, or even in 5 years?
    i don't care if what i did matters to anyone but myself and to a select few- i did what made me happy and that's all that matter's. though if i didn't do something i like then that's depressing but... it's not like i'm going to know when i die (but of course i could... o.o)

    You may not live to see milestones in the life of you, your family, and your friends which you look forward to and assume you will see. (Personal note: If I can ever bring myself to do it without crying the entire time, I would like to record videos of me talking to my kids which they can watch at various stages of life... graduation, marriage, having kids. I may have to just write letters, as even this is difficult enough.)
    yet again i don't think that would matters if i died-unless the after life is something where i am lookng down at the earth and if that is true, then the after life is hell- what kind of life would that be? it is a sad thing thinking about it now though but i don't know!


    You might outlive everyone you know.
    oh. this one sucks. i- i don't know how i could handel this.

    If you live a long time, the world will be totally different from the one you know now, and you will be less capable of adapting to it by then.
    i'd be old and i don't think it would matter if i could adapt or not... you don't see a rapper grandma walking down the street do you? i'd wach tv and live in my life of fantasy

    If you live a long time, you will likely be somewhat forgotten and be seen with less respect because Western culture values youth and those with potential rather than those nearing the end of their life.
    eh... *shrug* i'll die eventually or live in a old home and eat mashed potatoes, it's all good.

    i don't think i answered this right but oh well...

  7. #7
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    I've been sick, off and on, for most of my life. At 11, I was so sick, that during surgery I briefly died. I saw so many incredible things, and for a moment, I was completely calm and out of pain. It was glorious. But, I heard a voice telling me, " It's not time." and then I came back to a sick body and a huge struggle.

    It's still horrible to talk about - to be separated from your loved ones, but also to be kept away from that kind of internal stillness in the presence of God. I can't pick through it, and it's difficult to explain to others who haven't experienced it.

  8. #8
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I grew up on a farm, so I knew at an early age that death is just another part of life and you never know when it's going to get you. After watching a relative die young and unexpectedly, it struck me even harder.

    If the secrets thread and my blog haven't revealed this- I try my hardest to live my life in a manner that won't leave me cheated if I drop over dead. I'd rather go before my friends and family, I admit- immortality or reaching a really old age would be so much worse than dying younger for me! I really fear losing my physical abilities! I've watched that happen to people and it terrifies me...
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  9. #9
    Senior Member Nonpareil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    Are you in touch with your own mortality and all of its implications?
    See, this is a tough question for me and I'm not sure I can answer it. I know that I will eventually die and I'm not sure if it will be sooner or later. I like to take one day at a time to accomplish my goals as is. I don't think I would have regrets if I did die tomorrow because I'll be dead and I wouldn't be able to regret it anyways...

    Is it of benefit to be in touch with our mortality?
    I think it's important to be in touch with the fact that we aren't immortals, it keeps us from doing stupid things. I've know many young people (in the past and I see it even now) that don't realize their mortality and does stupid things. My cousin died when he was 17 in a car accident. He was street racing and lost control of his car. The thing was, I don't think he ever thought he would die because he's gotten into a few pretty bad accidents (driving into a semi-truck and losing the top of his car) and yet he never learned from any of it and continued doing what he did. Oh maybe this is the view of a wimp!

    What can a person do to be better in touch with their own mortality?
    I don't know if there is a universal answer to this, we are all different, we are shaped differently depending on our experiences, thoughts and influences. I don't think one thing that will help one person get in touch with his/her mortality will be the same for another person. It's all something we have to learn/experience ourselves. I think there are some of us who refuse to accept death.

    This could be the last day in your life or the life of someone close.
    For me, that would suck, but I'll accept it since I don't believe that I will remember my life after I die so whether I regret it or not will not matter once I'm dead. I have big dreams and goals but I will only worry about it while I'm alive.

    Will what you're doing now matter to anyone after you die, or even in 5 years?
    I don't know if what I do would really matter to anyone now or in the future. I would like to know it does but unfortunately I haven't gained the power to influence the people around me yet. I accept things as they are and I would like to accomplish a lot and touch the lives of many people before I die, but if that doesn't happen - such is life (or I guess, death).

    What can I do to make sure that I put things that will matter after I die as top priority?
    Why should it matter what happens to the things that matter to me after I die? There's nothing more that I can do? I trust that the people I know and care about are capable enough to take care of themselves with or without me. In that sense, I have nothing to worry about. I don't have kids that depend on me and my family are all good, independent people. I would hate to leave pt but I know, in time, he'll get over my death...

    You may not live to see milestones in the life of you, your family, and your friends which you look forward to and assume you will see. (Personal note: If I can ever bring myself to do it without crying the entire time, I would like to record videos of me talking to my kids which they can watch at various stages of life... graduation, marriage, having kids. I may have to just write letters, as even this is difficult enough.)
    Unfortunately, I don't find milestones that big a deal to me. It's just the next stage in life and I would be happy for those who reach it but I don't care if I witness it or not. Plus, like I said, if I'm dead, I wouldn't really have to worry about it. Since I'm not dead, I might as well try to enjoy life - although, realistically, I have a hard enough time with that, I can't worry about all the "what if's".

    Others rely on you for specific tasks and information which are difficult to replace. (salary, pensions, savings, property ownership, business knowledge, fixing things, emotional support)
    I don't think I really have anyone that relies on me that way. If so, I'm easily replaceable. Death of a close one is never easy to deal with but all the people in my life that I care about do have other important people in their life to help them in some way shape or form with my "death".

    You might outlive everyone you know.
    That would suck, since I hate being alone, but that just means that I have to be constantly making some connection with people or at least be wealthy enough to find a replacement for my feelings. Such as being rich enough to help a third world country develop so that I can touch some people's lives and also gain that sense of self worth myself. I don't know if this makes any sense...if I can replace the emotions I had for all the people I outlived, then I would at least be satified until I die.

    If you live a long time, the world will be totally different from the one you know now, and you will be less capable of adapting to it by then.
    I like to think I'm an adaptable person, plus, I think if the world did change (nomatter how long I lived), since I'm living in it, the change will not seem that big...it's not like I'm being plopped from one decade to another, I'm there to witness the change.

    If you live a long time, you will likely be somewhat forgotten and be seen with less respect because Western culture values youth and those with potential rather than those nearing the end of their life.
    But realistically, if things can change a lot in my lifetime, then that same assumption that youth is valued can change as well. Plus, I could always move to a culture/country that does value age and experiences. I'll just have to find someplace that will appreciate me for me and who enjoys listening to my many stories of: "I remember when I was your age, things were so different, we had...."

    Thanks Javo for this interesting topic, I hope I answered your questions and that what I say makes sense. I'm quite tired and so my sentences could all be jibber jabber.
    Sorry for any typos, spelling or grammer errors but I'm a bit preoccupied planning my wedding.
    Or if you want to read more about me and help me gain more insight to your world (I do need more experiences in life), feel free to skim through my blog.

  10. #10
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Is it of benefit to be in touch with our mortality?
    I believe so. It puts things into perspective.

    What can a person do to be better in touch with their own mortality?
    Encounter death... perhaps helping out with charities for terminally ill people, or in my case religious work (giving last rites), attend funerals (even funerals of people you don't know can be moving and profound experiences). And just think on it, on your own; meditation.

    This could be the last day in your life or the life of someone close.
    I think about that quite often. Two of the dearest people to me right now are in dangerous places in the world, and one of them is also old and frail on top of that. I wonder if I'll ever see them again. I lost my life partner through bombings in Palestine; my father recently died unexpectedly and my daughter was hit by a car (survived, thankfully) earlier this year. I'm anticipating major surgery in the near future - always a risk - and aware that I'm getting older and my lifespan hasn't got as nice looking a ratio of behind/in front as it once had.

    These are some reasons why I don't procrastinate or dither around or make excuses or whatever, to do and be the things I want and that are important to me.

    Will what you're doing now matter to anyone after you die, or even in 5 years?
    Yes, I believe so. I sometimes get cards or letters from the people I help out, some from years ago, thanking me and saying how much it meant to them. I know I've made a difference and I know I'll continue to do so.

    What can I do to make sure that I put things that will matter after I die as top priority?
    Simple: gtf on with it; no excuses.

    You may not live to see milestones in the life of you, your family, and your friends which you look forward to and assume you will see.
    I don't assume I'll see them. I don't assume anything about the future - it's an open book and how it pans out depends to some extent on what I do with the present. Like Gandalf said: "all you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you" - and all we have is the present.

    Others rely on you for specific tasks and information which are difficult to replace. (salary, pensions, savings, property ownership, business knowledge, fixing things, emotional support)
    I have a savings account that's specifically to take care of my funeral costs when I die, with plenty left over for my kids. I've written a will and even given specific instructions for my funeral and burial. I don't own any property, and I've made provisions for what happens to my kids if I die while they're still minors. And I frequently tell them I love them - even when I'm mad at them - and explain my actions and words to them quite often. I feel quite confident that my kids won't have to go through the chaotic hell when I die, that I just had to on my father's death (due to him leaving no will and no money and an awful mess). I have a close support network of friends and family and surrogate-family that I feel confident will support my children and each other on my death.

    You might outlive everyone you know.
    Unlikely, unless I turn out to be the last human being on earth. I meet new people all the time of all different ages. I know a LOT of people.

    If you live a long time, the world will be totally different from the one you know now, and you will be less capable of adapting to it by then.
    I count on the first part - if I didn't fully realize that then life would barely be worth living. And as for the second part... hahahaha... I seriously doubt that.

    If you live a long time, you will likely be somewhat forgotten and be seen with less respect because Western culture values youth and those with potential rather than those nearing the end of their life.
    I also doubt that in my case. The last portion of my life - however long it turns out to be - will be spent in various Franciscan friaries, where I'll be constantly surrounded by my brethren and the many people who frequent and stay at those places. I'll have work to do and people to see on a meaningful basis and level right up to when my body is no longer capable. In fact, I'll still have work to do even when my body gives up, so long as my mind is still intact. And I'll be looked after and loved, and prayed for after my death.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

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