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  1. #11
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    Are you in touch with your own mortality and all of its implications?
    I'm technically aware of the implications, but probably not "in touch" with them.

    Is it of benefit to be in touch with our mortality?
    I doubt it. What good does it do to be depressed that you could die?
    What can a person do to be better in touch with their own mortality?
    Attend a funeral, visit a relative in the hospital, or experience another person's death first-hand. Like I said, being in touch with it is probably something that just happens from time to time rather than something desirable.

  2. #12
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I don't find it at all depressing athenian. I find it humbling, motivating and inspiring. All positive stuff
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

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  3. #13
    Senior Member Sandy's Avatar
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    Yes, I am very aware, and I am prepared to go if GOD calls me in.

    I just hope that He spares me the pain and allows me go first (before my children).
    -Sandy
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  4. #14
    Senior Member Nonpareil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandy View Post
    I just hope that He spares me the pain and allows me go first (before my children).
    I can understand that. On one hand, I want to ask you, what about the pain your children will feel if you died before them? I know I always said, I hope to die at the same time as my mom and grandparents, that way none of us would be hurt from the death of the others. I know that is almost unrealistic and I have come to accept that statistically speaking, I should outlive most people in my family.

    But I know what you mean by wanting to die before your children. One of my aunt and uncle lost their son in a car accident, after they raised him for 17 years. It was his grade 12 year and I was fairly close to him. The thing was, I accept his death because of who he was (not saying he was stupid or anything...but he was very much someone who lived on the edge). But his death changed my aunt and uncle (his parents) like you'll never believe. That is what makes me cry when I think about it, the looks on their faces at the funeral and how much they have changed. Their entire outlook in life and how they think/act has completely changed. I wish there was something I could do to turn back time but there isn't.
    Sorry for any typos, spelling or grammer errors but I'm a bit preoccupied planning my wedding.
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  5. #15
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I don't find it at all depressing athenian. I find it humbling, motivating and inspiring. All positive stuff
    Why? What does it motivate/inspire you to do? If I think about the fact that I'll die, it just makes me want to lay around and feel sorry for myself because everything I do is futile if I have to die, so not thinking about it makes me happier. Does that really not make sense?

  6. #16
    Senior Member Sandy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nonpareil View Post
    I can understand that. On one hand, I want to ask you, what about the pain your children will feel if you died before them? I know I always said, I hope to die at the same time as my mom and grandparents, that way none of us would be hurt from the death of the others. I know that is almost unrealistic and I have come to accept that statistically speaking, I should outlive most people in my family.

    But I know what you mean by wanting to die before your children. One of my aunt and uncle lost their son in a car accident, after they raised him for 17 years. It was his grade 12 year and I was fairly close to him. The thing was, I accept his death because of who he was (not saying he was stupid or anything...but he was very much someone who lived on the edge). But his death changed my aunt and uncle (his parents) like you'll never believe. That is what makes me cry when I think about it, the looks on their faces at the funeral and how much they have changed. Their entire outlook in life and how they think/act has completely changed. I wish there was something I could do to turn back time but there isn't.
    True -- however it's more expected that a parent dies first. We're older and have experienced more, and generally, parents wish and expect their children to experience as much or more life than what their parents had. I'm being selfish, though, I guess.
    -Sandy
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  7. #17
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    I don't plan on dieing. Singularity, baby! w00t!

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    Why? What does it motivate/inspire you to do? If I think about the fact that I'll die, it just makes me want to lay around and feel sorry for myself because everything I do is futile if I have to die, so not thinking about it makes me happier. Does that really not make sense?
    Yeah I can see how a lot of people would feel that way. I used to as well. I just don't any more, that's all. Haven't for a long time. It's not because of belief in the afterlife or anything because I don't have any definite beliefs about that; it doesn't even occur to me. I just figure that, knowing I'm gonna die and there's no escaping it, but that I am alive right now and don't feel the desire to not be, it motivates me to fill the time I have with things that, when the time comes, will give me a feeling of my life not having been wasted. To get on with it now, rather than putting it off. Life is good, but finite for each individual... but still good. Or it can be. I guess it makes me want to live meaningfully and not for myself, knowing that 'myself' won't be here so long in the scheme of history... makes me less selfish.

    In a way it also motivates and inspires me not to waste my time on this earth with behaviour that's essentially in denial of the fact that I'm going to die anyway, no matter what. I know you're not religious, but I am, and I have found great meaning in the words "those who cling to life will lose it"... I don't think it means 'will literally die as a direct result' but more sorta... lose a sense of purpose, lose any meaning for their life. I tend to see a lot of people who revolve their life around trying to prolong their lives, often to me there's a sense about them of decay... as though ... well, I dunno, that's hard to explain. But by contrast I see some people who have little regard for their own life and little fear of death, and they seem more alive to me than anything, even though they might be crippled with arthritis or whatever.

    I don't want to end up on my deathbed - where everyone will end up - regretting the way I spent my time and feeling that my life really was futile and a waste. So it gives me courage and inspiration to be who I want to be right now. I don't want to say on my deathbed "I wanted to do XYZ but I never did it because I never got the courage..." or "I wish I had not been such a coward".

    I'd rather think back on my life in the last hours and see that I did an awful lot, though perhaps overdid some things, than look back and see a big load of gaps where I just didn't do anything because I was too afraid. It helps me to push through and past my fears, to overcome them.

    I've seen people die ugly, miserable and wretched deaths and I've seen people die graceful, peaceful deaths. I see what makes the difference is how they lived their lives. That inspires me with a sense of perspective as to what's really important.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
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  9. #19
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    Are you in touch with your own mortality and all of its implications?
    Yes, I believe I am. I started really being aware of it 3 or 4 yrs ago; like, the complete awareness that I would die and be no more just really settled into me, in a way it hadn't before. Earlier on, I saw my death from more a detached perspective - more of a 'fact' - that yes, I was going to die at some point - but I didn't really 'get it' at that time, and now I think I do.

    Is it of benefit to be in touch with our mortality?
    Yes, I think it is. I think when one is in touch with his mortality, he will begin to view life differently, and might alter his life path, might appreciate the little things more, will gain more perspective on Life...

    What can a person do to be better in touch with their own mortality?
    I never thought of it as something one does. As for me, I think because I naturally think about stuff and spend a lot of time contemplating life, it just kind of happened. I think it's more of a psychological/spiritual process to become more in touch with your mortality - it's like a way of being, and for me it's almost like an additional filter in my mind that I see all of life through. I can't adequately describe it. I don't think I would have gotten to this state of mind by simply attending funerals, or stuff like that. But maybe that work for others, I don't know.

    [*]This could be the last day in your life or the life of someone close.
    I'm quite aware of this, and think about this stuff often. Not in a depressed fashion, but just more of an awareness.

    [*]Will what you're doing now matter to anyone after you die, or even in 5 years?
    I think the absence of my life/personality/spirit would matter to people I'm close to after I die, and in 5 yrs. And, how I live my life out and my 'accomplishments' are the extensions of my character, I guess. But in the big picture, no, I'm not doing anything 'memorable' or anything that impacts anyone on a grand scale, so in that sense, my death won't really matter.

    [*]What can I do to make sure that I put things that will matter after I die as top priority?
    I'm not sure I understand the question, but I'd say just focus on them right now, and make them your priority now, and by your actions you might influence younger generations to care about them too and focus on them after your death.

    [*]You may not live to see milestones in the life of you, your family, and your friends which you look forward to and assume you will see. (Personal note: If I can ever bring myself to do it without crying the entire time, I would like to record videos of me talking to my kids which they can watch at various stages of life... graduation, marriage, having kids. I may have to just write letters, as even this is difficult enough.)
    This is something that is currently very much on my mind. At the moment I don't feel like I'm DOING anything, and have no 'milestones' in sight, and it's really bothering me. And I feel like I'm disappointing my parents on a tiny level because I'm not married, and I don't have kids. And myself as well, because I feel like I'm missing out on something key. It would be quite different though if I had children, so I can feel for you there.

    [*]Others rely on you for specific tasks and information which are difficult to replace. (salary, pensions, savings, property ownership, business knowledge, fixing things, emotional support)
    I'm not as concerned about this, but it also doesn't apply to my life at all, really.

    [*]You might outlive everyone you know.
    I guess it's something that's possible, and frightening, but I don't dwell on it.

    [*]If you live a long time, the world will be totally different from the one you know now, and you will be less capable of adapting to it by then.
    Hey, I'm *already* resisting changes that I don't like, so this is a given for me. And I'm not even going to go into the environmental impacts that will kill my soul....

    [*]If you live a long time, you will likely be somewhat forgotten and be seen with less respect because Western culture values youth and those with potential rather than those nearing the end of their life.[/LIST]
    I guess I've never really thought about this either. Also it's something I would just push aside as a 'given', and not bother dwelling on it. Of course this is assuming I'm still living in the West by that point.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  10. #20
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I'm necromancing.

    Yesterday an all staff email went out at my job about one of my coworkers having an aggressive tumor in her breast. She'll be out for the foreseeable future.

    I am extremely saddened by this because I talk regularly with this woman and even more so because she's only 32. I realized that I think I have some veil of immunity covering me because I'm young and in mostly good health. I began to wonder how young people (especially those under 30) reconcile the fact that they have a good chance of developing some sort of life-threatening illness in life or if it's something they isn't real or meaningful to them at while young.

    I've seen so many people that I know die of diseases that suddenly spring up overnight and they're dead within 6-12 months. Maybe I should be thankful that I haven't witnessed that many long and protracted battles because it seems to me they get taken out pretty quickly. The suddenness of it shocks me because it's like they weren't even given a chance to fight. They're already in the later stages when they find out and then BAM.

    The suddenness of the death doesn't give loved ones proper time to digest what's happening. It seems that once it's registered that a loved one has this disease that you're visiting them in the hospital, then a funeral. Sometimes the sick person gives up and resigns themselves to death. You wonder if they should've fought harder or if they really wanted to die and be at peace. And then to turn around and watch another loved one have it happen to them is sometimes overwhelming.

    I try to be realistic about situations like this because I wonder about what quality of life they would have if they continued to fight. I've seen some breast cancer patients come out of remission with a more aggressive cancer that spreads to other parts of their body. I've seen gruesome lesions and sores on the spots where the cancer has spread and I think to myself, is this any way to live? Living on dialysis, living on 100 pills per week, living in pain for what seems like the rest of your days. And the emotional toll this takes on your family and friends can be just as bad if not worse.

    You can of course focus on the positive and happy things in your life, but realistically that's often hard to do when the person is wrestling with their mortality and their own body is rebelling against them.

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