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  1. #31
    Senior Member sketchymcsketcherson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I have a nice home, a wonderful man, a loving family and my job plans are even starting to pan out... and yet somewhere in the back of my mind, and in my muscles, I feel an overwhelming need to punch something
    Property, relationships, and job plans don't amount to much when it comes to being happy inside. It's all about your mind.
    For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication. -- Friedrich Nietzsche

  2. #32
    Senior Member FallsPioneer's Avatar
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    Going off of what Victor said, I'm going to venture a wild guess and say it is not anger, or at least a malicious thing that you are "feeling."

    I used to try to figure out things that drove me insane, but I found out for myself that after a reasonable amount of talking to others/introspection/analysis, if I'm still stuck with whatever's bothering me and I can't really resolve it or give it closure, then I should just shelve it for a little bit.

    Sometimes I'd find out that I just woke up in a bad mood or was making up my own problems. Good luck miss.
    Still using a needle to break apart a grain of sand.

  3. #33
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I have a nice home, a wonderful man, a loving family and my job plans are even starting to pan out... and yet somewhere in the back of my mind, and in my muscles, I feel an overwhelming need to punch something

    I don't get it... it's like underneath the surface I'm amazingly angry about something... and I can't even figure out what! I've always been known for having a flash temper in my family and by my friends- I'm quick to set off and I get over the actual being angry quite quickly as well... but for some reason, for just about as long as I can remember, there's been some sense of being angry sitting somewhere farther back in my mind

    I KNOW it's not right- I have nothing to be mad about that consistently... and to express it towards someone or something undeserving is against my beleifs in decency and politeness... so it just sits there and waits and occasionally seeps out a bit towards those who are deemed deserving of some snark

    I've spent years in therapy, I used to box, I get plenty of exercize and it won't leave... I don't know why

    why the fuck can't I just be normal? I can't even think of a reason for this! Anyone else identify... or better yet- does anyone have a solution that works?

    I have the same issue about my anger. It's there, ready to pounce.

    Here's food for thought:

    The first step to fully expressing anger is to divorce the other person from any responsibility for our anger. We rid ourselves of thoughrs such as, "he (or she or they) made me angry when they did that." Such thinking leads us to express our anger superficially by blaming or punishing the other person....We are never angry because of what someone else did. We can identify the other person's behaviour as the stimulus, but it is important to establish a clear separation between stimulus and cause.....

    Where guilt is a tactic of manipulation and coercion, it is useful to confuse stimulus and cause. As mentioned earlier, children who hear, "It hurts Mommy and Daddy when you get poor grades," are led to believe that their behavior is the cause of their parents' pain. The same dynamic is observed among intimate partners: "It really disappoints me when you're not here for my birthday." The English language facilitates the use of this guilt-inducing tactic.

    We say: "You make me angry." "You hurt me by doing that." "I feel sad because you did that." We use our language in many different ways to trick ourselves into believing that our feelings result from what others do. The first step in the process of fully expressing our anger is to realize that what other people do is never the cause of how we feel.

    So what is the cause of anger?....whenever we are angry, we are finding fault - we are choosing to play God by judging or blaming the other person for being wrong or deserving punishment. I would like to suggest that this is the cause of anger. Even if we are not initially conscious of it, the cause of anger lies in our own thinking - in thoughts of blame and judgment.
    from the book Nonviolent Communication A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.

  4. #34
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I think I may have put my finger on it in my blog... perhaps I shall become a vengance seeking vigilante or something

    thank you guys it turns out that I have a very good reason to be pissed off with the world!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  5. #35
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    why the f$%^ am I so angry?!
    Ummm... because Victor's your roommate?

  6. #36
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    thank god that's not true... or I'd be typing from the women's pen out in rockville now
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #37
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    thank god that's not true... or I'd be typing from the women's pen out in rockville now
    If the judge and the prosecutor knew him they'd let you plead down to reckless endangerment, and you'd get time served and maybe a thank-you card.

  8. #38
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    or maybe they'd just bury him on the grounds for a death sentence in a way

    I'm in Indiana... I'd get a parade for that!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  9. #39
    Senior Member durentu's Avatar
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    If there wasn't a time where you were 'normal', then what you are now if your normal.

    Anger isn't the problem. The lack of control is. If you can figure out how to make money being as angry as you want, that's basically gold.

    Idealists (not particularly the NF variety) are the most angry because when life doesn't work in the way they command of it, they get ticked off. The source of the anger is high expectations and unrealistic demands on life. One of which is the notion that everyone should be happy and normal. This expectation of course would drive someone mad when life shows it's full value.
    "People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds; it is something one creates." - Thomas Szasz

  10. #40
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I just got the ultimate bitch slap from those who I had been raised to beleive would protect me, and I got it at the most vulnerable moment... and it made me mad

    when younger I just got mad about things like inequality... you know, the basic stuff that people should be irked by
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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