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Thread: False name with friends?

  1. #31
    Lex Parsimoniae Array Xander's Avatar
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    Apr 2007


    I fail to see the point of lying to people these days though there is a growing number of people who refer to me as Xander even after they find out that's not what most people irl call me. Well bar one who still uses derivations of Xini but she's special
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  2. #32
    Senior Member Array substitute's Avatar
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    May 2007


    I'm just trying to think of situations a person could be in where they might legitimately want to do this. It could be that you have a very bad past that you've sorta put behind you, perhaps painful or maybe shameful, and you don't want to be connected with it because you've moved on. It could be that you plan to tell people once you've learned to trust them, but don't seem to manage to find the right moment, or maybe you just do have a problem trusting them.

    I don't tell people my former name, but that's because I've had experience of people (ab)using it to taunt me and humiliate me. I don't even tell people I trust, because once you tell one other person, it's no longer under your control as to who else knows. Even if you trust that person not to abuse the knowledge, I've learned the hard way that there are very, very few people on this earth who you can truly trust to keep a secret. And it's not just because of that either - my children's safety depends on it, which is too big a deal to risk by indulging my desire to trust someone or their need to be trusted.

    I can imagine someone wanting to do it just to play with a new identity in a new town. It wouldn't really bother me though... a rose by any other name etc... if someone's deceitful in a bad way, I would probably be able to tell it from other parts of their behaviour, without needing to find out they used a false name before I realized they were dishonest. If no spider-sense was triggered in me from them, then I'd imagine that even if I did find out, I'd figure they had a legitimate reason for it, and hear them out.
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  3. #33
    RETIRED Array CzeCze's Avatar
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    Sep 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by Santtu View Post
    Do you use a false name, or a false identity with friends you've known at least 1 year or more?

    I gather that it's paranoid trait to do this.

    I've mildly suspected this of some of my friends.

    I've personally entertained the idea that I might do it in another country.

    Mostly I've thought that my idea of individuality and anonymity might best be served by telling just little enough.. not by falsificating anything that's real.

    Web pseodonymity is another thing.

    So what do you know? Have you ever convinced another person that you were of different name, in real life?

    Web incidents have nothing whatsoever to do with this query. We all know that you can pretend to be anything you want on the web.
    (BTW, I didn't read the other posts past page 1.)

    First, my real name is pretty unique. I have never met another person with the same name as me, similar maybe, but not the same.

    So when when I first started PA-ing on independent sets, I used different names. That way, if I really messed something up, people might complain about someone named 'Stacy' or 'Jessica' but what would that have to do with me? Hee hee hee.

    Also, when I order things online or when I'm out in public and need to use services like pick up dry cleaning or lunch or get my hair did, I use different names. I'm paranoid like that.

    As for using a new name, that's common for 'third culture kids' or children of immigrants, cross culturally adopted children, multiracial children. Also for practical and/or political reasons for gender deviants, queers, and transitioned/transitioning people. Basically people who live in different spaces simultaneously and/or who move through different worlds.

    You have a birth name or maybe an Americanized name you used until college or some enlightening quarter life crisis event, then you go by another name (birth name, legal name, a new name you create for yourself).

    I know a number of people who are known by at least 2 names, depending on when and how you met the person.

    The idea in itself doesn't bother me at all. Sometimes it's assumed from knowing the person, in the case of transgendered folks or 1st and 2nd generation folks. Though in othe cases it is nice to be informed of the fact you changed your name -- even if you don't disclose what that name was.

    It's pretty common.

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