Hold on, I'll give it a go actually.
Astrology is obviously wrong because I can't see how those planets millions of miles away could possibly affect our lives. What the hell are they doing, bombarding us with electro-magnetic pulses at the precise moment of our birth or something? Yeah, right, how is that supposed to work? You people are so gullible you probably think the Sun revolves around the Earth. Hey, wait a minute, that's how astrology actually works isn't it *laughs derisively*. C'mon you guys, get with the 21st century and learn how real science works instead of believing all that crap invented by a bunch of Babylonians in Egypt 10 thousand years ago who thought the earth was flat and made human sacrifices to keep the crops growing. It's MADE up, stupid superstition! I just can't take this kind of ignorance seriously!
Could someone else work on the function superiority bit?