This is an issue that I've had some serious problems with over the years- I've always had an image as a light hearted, fun and positive person who will help you out if you're in trouble. It came naturally when I was younger (before I hit 23 or so) but then I hit a rough patch... and kept on acting the same
I KNOW that I have some serious issues that probably need to be made public and that my compulsion to just hide that and keep things running smoothly don't help things, but I just can't break myself from keeping up the facade.
I know that there will be responses of "it's better off just to be honest with people" but that won't work all so well really- I don't WANT anyone's pity and I don't want to be looked at as different, which are bound to be the results of absolute honesty. There's few things worse than pity, which is why, for the most part, I've been silent about these things to the board as well. And despite all of that, I still feel a need to be friendly and pleasant... it's like it's an ingrained part of my personality just as much as the bad part
I feel really hesitant about posting this even... thankfully I'm posting in the same forum as a more popular thread