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  1. #1
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Default When do you think someone is overreacting?

    I like this song from the Black Eyed Peas and I especially like the video for a reason other than the song.

    [YOUTUBE="CUFsQ5lTo6g"]Imma Be[/YOUTUBE]

    Watch up to 1:31. Would you say Fergie's characterization is an overreaction or just a passionate reaction?

    What I like about this is the interaction is its very casual; something that can happen when you're with a group of friends just talking about stuff and then a subject comes up that makes people heated.

    I notice a common accusation within relational issues is saying that another person overreacts. I'd like to find out what people consider an overreaction.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  2. #2
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    interesting.

    I would call that over reacting and be fucking annoyed by it. If you disagree, you sit down, debate, discuss, go head to head over the issue, but you work it out. The walking out was annoying to me.

    I guess this may be my perception-I would perceive this particular problem as being business related-I might get passionate, but would not back down or walk out until the problem was resolved.

    EDIT-Although if really upset, i might say "Hey, I need some time to think this issue over and I'll get back to you"

    Emo over reactions would be reserved for emotional pain. In which case I very well may cover you in emo-spew.

    Can you give us an example like this of a couple interacting?

  3. #3
    heart on fire
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    When I get a gut feeling that a person is acting out their emotions more to experience the sensation than to anything they are really feeling inside, then I say they are overreacting. I grew up around people who did this all the time. The experience of being out of control of their actions and the endorphrins released etc, seemed to be the motivation not true hurt or anger.

  4. #4
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I am not sure if it's an overreaction. She didn't even really hear him out. She just stormed off like a spoiled child. Can a person be passionate, but still be respectful and open-minded?
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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  5. #5
    Kraken down on piracy Lux's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I am not sure if it's an overreaction. She didn't even really hear him out. She just stormed off like a spoiled child. Can a person be passionate, but still be respectful and open-minded?
    ^ I agree.

    If you don't want to be seen to be overacting, you have to at least try to converse, not just storm off. Her behavior was sort of annoying.
    "It is not length of life, but depth of life." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

    "Thought breeds thought." ~ Henry David Thoreau

  6. #6
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    When I get a gut feeling that a person is acting out their emotions more to experience the sensation than to anything they are really feeling inside, then I say they are overreacting. I grew up around people who did this all the time. The experience of being out of control of their actions and the endorphrins released etc, seemed to be the motivation not true hurt or anger.


    hi heart-how would you tell the difference-between the emotions of hurt or anger and a response that was out of control of actions/endorphins? Wouldnt the hurt/anger be what provokes the out of control action via endorphin responses?

  7. #7
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    I think an overreaction is impassioned willful ignorance whereas a passionate reaction is based upon a coherent argument.

  8. #8
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    When do I think someone's overreacting? Most of the time there's a negative reaction to something, I tend think it's an overreaction.

    People seem to overreact most of the time. Lots of people carry a vested interest in everything that happens around them and get irate when things do not go their way, even in the overly-detailed and insignificant stuff that probably shouldn't matter.


    Por ejemplo:

    "Dammit! I said no pickles! GOD!!"

    Nevermind that you just ordered for your entire family of 6 and had detailed and particular instructions that you kept changing around, and that no reasonable person should have been expected to keep all of that straight for you.


    Let's face it. If it's not gonna matter a few years from now, you're probably overreacting.

    gotta learn to let stuff go, man

    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    I think an overreaction is impassioned willful ignorance whereas a passionate reaction is based upon a coherent argument.
    I like this answer

    If you don't have good, solid reasoning that backs up the way you feel, then maybe you should reevaluate your feelings.

    Take a step back. Take a breather. Think about the context of the situation and about others' perspectives. Don't just fly off the handle before you've counted to 10.


    sorry I couldn't watch the video and answer in that context--my Flash audio is borked for some reason

  9. #9
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I'll consider it overreacting when i can tell that they do it for show and for effect...calculated almost and riding the emotional wave right into other people's states of mind. Though, like Heart said, doing it for kicks is really close up there for me.

    I roll my eyes at people who get themselves deliberately hyped up, but those that do it for effect and show are worse still imo, than those that do it to release something and coz they enjoy it. At least the latter isn't consciously trying to influence others, just themselves, whereas the first is going for mass effect.
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  10. #10
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    When I get a gut feeling that a person is acting out their emotions more to experience the sensation than to anything they are really feeling inside, then I say they are overreacting. I grew up around people who did this all the time. The experience of being out of control of their actions and the endorphrins released etc, seemed to be the motivation not true hurt or anger.
    I agree. I feel your pain about 'drama' attention whoring.

    In the case of this video, looking at the topic discussed at the beginning and the message it conveys, seems as though Fergie acted out of passion:
    1. Considering the fact that she is an artist.
    2. Considering the fact that her beliefs about technology taking over the music industry/replacing human talent violates her value system,
    3. I would say her response to walking out with the statement about not being a 'robot' is a fed up one.

    I guess overreaction would depend on context. If I had my career and passions replaced by a machine, I'd be kinda annoyed too (especially since the music industry nowadays seems to be more in control by bean counters).

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