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  1. #1
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Silly Therapy (tm)

    Yes, trademarked!

    Too serious? I have a cousin (and now a friend/girl I'm seeing) who I consider too serious. Both identify with being J, which makes sense. I'm noticed that they take their successes and failures very seriously. They're very serious about work and about being slighted by others, however slightly. My cousin especially (INFJ) is very serious about her relationships and about her reputation. I think the reason why serious people are serious is partly learned, and party because they need to maintain control by monitoring themselves to avoid being hurt, rejected, or embarrassed by the judgments/evaluations of others (family, friends, cohorts, lovuhs). It sucks because these people lose their spontaneity and joie de vivre in the process which makes life beautiful and satisfying. Enter Silly Therapy (tm!).

    The concept behind Silly Therapy (tm). Silly Therapy (tm) is a simple technique for learning how to give up control and break free of burdensome self-monitoring. All you have to do is act like a total ass and by really fucking silly. Silliness and seriousness are diametrically opposed, and being silly eats away at the core of seriousness which, in the end, is attachment.

    But my serious friends are silly, Mr. Unlicensed Psychologist!
    This is a common objection to which I am forced to distinguish between 2 types of silly: controlled silly and care-free silly. Controlled silly is intellectual in nature and has boundaries and restrictions. It's calculated silliness, which is the opposite of being silly, which is free of thought and calculation. Then there's care-free silliness, where you simply let yourself be silly without planning and without caring about how you're perceived.

    The strategy here is to slowly incorporate (I like to frequently split infinitives, sorry) silliness into your life, starting with the most safe environment and transitioning into a more precarious environment.

    Step 1 is to get silly in private. Walk around your apartment/house/castle and just be totally retarded. Sing an opera song. Do some voice impersonations. Talk to your self. As I advised a female friend yesterday, jump on the bed and slap your titties around. Can't believe I typed that. (lmao) I can't believe I said it yesterday, either. The more absurd the better. Hope that doesn't offend anyone (in which case, I'll just criticize you for being too serious, anyway).

    Step 2
    is to bring some silliness into your family and close friendships. Maybe create some terribly annoying laugh (worse than the one you already have). Start doing sound effects in their presence. Challenge family members to duels with carrot sticks and plates as shields. Pretend you're in a rap video. Ride an imaginary horse around the house and occasionally pet it and water it.

    Step 3
    is bringing silliness and light-heartedness into the most serious areas of your life. Perhaps it's your career, your parents, or your kids. Wink more often. Wink when it's inappropriate. Start making stupid bets about things. I've found that this takes a bit of courage, because often the other person is serious themselves, but silliness is highly contagious. It shouldn't be looked at as a chore, but something fun.

    Thoughts? Pitfalls?

    What do you do when you're being silly? Any ideas you'll like to add that I can steal and incorporate into Silly Therapy (tm) and not give you credit for?

  2. #2
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    I am not very sure what will one gain with the "Silly Therapy". I think people who are usually very serious have a tendency to think a lot all of their actions and criticise themselves about almost everything they've said/done. So this might make them feel they shouldn't have behaved in such a silly way, increase insecurities and second-guessing self and bring rather the opposite results.

  3. #3
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    That's the point! They're slowly confronting their fear in a friendly, supportive, fun, unexpected, uncontrolled, humorous, spontaneous way.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by lastrailway View Post
    I am not very sure what will one gain with the "Silly Therapy".
    Yeah. The only one that gains is the silly friend who's persuading them to be sillier. You can't put yourself in the silly mindset just by doing absurd things.
    I don't wanna!

  5. #5
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by booyalab View Post
    You can't put yourself in the silly mindset just by doing absurd things.
    Disagreed! If you're practicing controlled silliness, it's tricky. But if you really let yourself go, you can absolutely change your mindset. The physical actions are just vehicles to help you let go.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by booyalab View Post
    You can't put yourself in the silly mindset just by doing absurd things.
    That's what I think. I can imagine some of the very serious people I know to do silly things, but I can guess that afterwards they will disapprove themselves.
    I think (not sure of course) that being extremely serious to the point to not be able to allow yourself any "silly" moment is due to very low self esteem and deep insecurities, who might simply deepen by pressing one's self to engage to a behaviour that they think it makes them look "ridiculous".
    On the other hand, I actually think this "therapy" could really help some people who are maybe very shy, but without really considering that they "have to" be serious.

  7. #7
    Senior Member pocket lint's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    Any ideas you'll like to add that I can steal and incorporate into Silly Therapy (tm) and not give you credit for?
    You should make a quiz to help people determine where they are on the seriousness---->silliness scale .

  8. #8
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pocket lint View Post
    You should make a quiz to help people determine where they are on the seriousness---->silliness scale .
    Good idea!

  9. #9
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I'm far too silly to participate here. I'll just derail things.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #10
    Oberon
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    I think I could sign on as a Silly Therapist, personally.

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