I always make a lot of eyecontact when I'm talking to someone, except when I'm talking to someone I don't take seriously, but I behave differently towards them anyways. I hate it when other people don't make eyecontact during a conversation, because then it's like they don't want contact at all. I also don't like people who make too much eye contact, because they always make me feel like they want to hypnotize me or something, especially when they're also talking monotonously and when they make no movement with their hands either.
haha...yeah i know that feeling...it weirds me out.
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I'm rather uncomfortable with too much eye contact. All I need to do is briefly look at a person to know what they are on about and for the rest of the time I tend to look past people at other things to distract myself. I do this thing with my friends that when I'm talking with them, rather than looking at them I look at the traffic or my gaze goes into a daze. And socially anxious people will wear sunglasses so as not look at people. I try to cut that out and then I look at a person, really look at a person and it unnerves them and they tell me to stop looking at them like that. or it unnerves me and I gotta look away because there is just too much going on.
I don't mind eye contact, but when I'm discussing something important, my eyes tend to wander off to the side in thought.
When people stare me down I feel guilty...even if we're just talking about the weather.
I've also found that staring directly at someone's crotch while they're speaking makes conversation much more interesting.
depends how im feeling, who im talking to, what we are talking about, where we are talking and possibly about many other things. sometimes im more avoidant and just quick look on the eyes at times and sometimes i might look bit too much and deep.
i have no idea whats the "right" amount for eye contact when talking
if i feel like i need to read the other person more than just listening what s/hes saying, then i read their minds thru eyes
"Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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I typically have trouble with eye contact, because I'm told it's either too dissecting or too evasive. So I'll typically have an internal count in my head, when it's time to look away. I also have a problem with not looking at people when I talk to them so they can get confused.
I'm intrigued by eye contact, and how some people like it and some people hate it. Someone told me once that, generally speaking, women make a lot more eye contact than men do, because women usually view eye contact as a way to show that they're listening actively and that they're involved in the conversation, whereas men, generally speaking, don't make a lot of eye contact because they usually see it as a form of intimidation and it makes them uncomfortable.
However, I know a lot of men (including an ENFJ and an INTP) who make constant eye contact, and some women (including me*) who don't. So I can't figure it out!
Does anyone have theories about this? Has anyone read an article that explains it? Is there a definitive answer that I don't know about?
*That's why I was inspired to make this thread - when I was re-watching my type question video for the umpteenth time, I noticed that I had even avoided eye contact with the camera!
I haven't figured out this eye contact thing. I used to not make eye contact hardly at all. Then I read that people like it when you make eye contact, so I found myself staring them down. Now when someone is talking to me I try to make a fair amount of eye contact, but then look away from time to time. I am so preoccupied with eye contact that I find I'm not always paying attention to what they are saying, lol.
I told this to my wife and a friend of ours, and they told me that they didn't notice me having any problems with eye contact. That means that so far my ruse is working, and the humans have not yet detected that they've been infiltrated.
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I've often heard that strong eye-contact is a sign of confidence and a strong will, but I suspect that's mostly said by people who like maintaining eye contact. Personally I don't find most eyes interesting enough to devote that much attention to. It's not like they're changing colour mid-conversation. And there are so many other things to look at. The only times I really make an effort to make strong eye-contact is when I'm trying to face someone down, or if I'm talking to someone who is maintaining conspicuous eye-contact. In the latter case it's because they trigger my "Oh, so that's how you want to play this is it?" response.
I always make an effort to make eye contact when I first start talking to someone. Then I'll renew it a couple of times throughout the conversation if they say something interesting or ask me something so they know I'm listening (as I tend to focus determinedly off on a distant point when I'm thinking and people assume I'm zoning out...). I don't like it when people constantly evade eye contact, but I take it as a challenge when other people stare constantly, so a healthy balance is the best for me. Others tend to look away before I do, though, because I tend to have a pretty intense stare even when I don't mean to be intimidating.
I have eye contact with people because I find it polite, but I won't stare. The other reason is I actually like looking into people's eyes, I try to read them. Mostly I'll look at the person when they're not looking at me.