I think this is mostly true for me - although more accurately I tend to make little to no eye contact coupled with occasional glances towards the person's face. The latter sometimes creates a vulnerability on both ends that isn't always appropriate between two complete strangers, which is where my problem comes in.
I've been told repeatedly that I make people feel uncomfortable when I make eye contact with them, so I usually try to avoid it - unless of course I'm trying to convey to someone how much something matters to me or to show someone how genuine I am about something. I can't really make eye contact with someone for a period of time, even if brief, without it feeling intimate.
For instance, I was talking to a [male STJ] friend of mine the other day. I can typically hold an entire conversation without looking at the other person, or people, involved. I just look at my hands, or at the ceiling, or fix my eyes in one place, similar to what I do when I'm thinking. I don't have to make eye contact. But, whenever I look him directly in the eyes once I want to show him that I'm truly paying attention to whatever he has to say, he starts squirming and fidgeting. It's not my intention to make him uncomfortable. I just want him to know, through eye contact, that I'm listening to him and what he has to say. Also, to clarify, he doesn't have any interest in me [he has a girlfriend], and I don't have any interest in him, so that isn't the cause of his discomfort. I just make eye contact with the intent to look into souls is all.
Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit
I guess I'll just have to try harder!
Sheesh, have you no mercy for the visually impaired?