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  1. #1
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    Default Mental Confusion: How does one resolve this?

    Entering the room, he quickly scanned the people in proximity with an emotionless detachment, a way to gauge the possible danger of feeling like an open book and determine which people are safe to talk nonchalantly with.

    As he thought about what he might say, the fear of past negative feelings were remembered. It was uncertainty about how the thoughts would be received. If he put enthusiastic and honest thought and effort in his words and they are thought stupid and offensive, he will feel instinctively greatly disappointed and stupid. If they are thought smart, he will feel instinctively good, but fearful and paranoid that the people praising are dangerous to him and feeling good is a lie; this is because any praise suggests others are playing favorites (which he believes is the only stupid thing a person can do because it leads to bias) and suggests that he now has an image to uphold (which he believes is the only dumb thing he can do to himself because this will lead to bias). This leaves a paradox of wanting to remain neutral, yet wanting to connect at the same time (which usually requires one take a stance or side and not remain neutral), and not wanting to feel bad, but not letting self enjoy feeling good either. This often leads to incredible hesitancy in anything social because he is aware of and so critical of all of these inconsistencies in human behavior that everything he does feels like a lie and he fears never being able to find anyone like himself, never fitting in with anyone, feeling akin to anyone, ever.
    How confusing, right?

    ??? Is this MBTi categorizable?

    If not, honestly, how do you or one reconsile such feelings?

  2. #2
    the Dark Prophet of Kualu
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    Default It's all got to do with it.

    Have you seen the 70's show?

    I wonder if you have and perhaps if you would've you'd noticed where things fall apart in your own little song.
    I do enjoy your tune but I prefer mine; seldom I wish to play the piano but together we could start a band.


    See it as troll if you will.




    On another note though: What do you mean with MBTi categorizable?
    How does that stick in there?
    Open for interpretation.
    Jo
    Fell for the temptation: Nohari / Johari

  3. #3
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gtzk View Post
    Have you seen the 70's show?

    I wonder if you have and perhaps if you would've you'd noticed where things fall apart in your own little song.
    I do enjoy your tune but I prefer mine; seldom I wish to play the piano but together we could start a band.


    See it as troll if you will.




    On another note though: What do you mean with MBTi categorizable?
    How does that stick in there?
    Yes, I've seen it.

    You lost me with your analogy/riddle, but it made me laugh and that's the only emotion I'm not suspicious of, so I think that's good.

    If we start a band, I get to smash all the instruments and equipment at the end of show, if I feel like it.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Gerbah's Avatar
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    Sounds more like an enneagram 5 issue. The solution would be to accept the up and down of emotions and realise it doesn't kill you to feel things. Emotions are just experiences. And that taking a risk now and then isn't that dangerous either. Then an opening for connection is possible.
    the shoheen ho of the wind of the west and the lulla lo of the soft sea billow - Alfred Graves

  5. #5
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gerbah View Post
    Sounds more like an enneagram 5 issue. The solution would be to accept the up and down of emotions and realise it doesn't kill you to feel things. Emotions are just experiences.
    The thing is...I like my emotions...the good ones...and I accept them...and I like feeling emotions for others. And I don't want to be disconnected from everyone. And in a childlike naivety I have no problem sharing them with others and willing to try to make others happy and comfortable around me. I've always been curious with people. I ask a ton of questions and I don't like to make judgments. I just find them interesting. And granted, I don't like everyone, but I also don't want to change them to what I like or try to control them because I don't like them. I just stay away from the things that bug me about them, not all things are meant to be. And it's fine.

    But in an adult reality, it's like everyone is on a sinking ship and everyone is frantically running to the life boats, even though there is enough room and time for everyone to get on a life boat if they weren't frantic and thought about the other people not as competition or aggressors for once in their lives. And because of this, people get left behind and go down with the ship; and the survivors justify their behavior with any reason that works for them, particularly any life philosophy that they may have (impressing that justified philosophy on their children and their community, refusing to look at or see any inherent problems with their actions). History is written by the victors, as they say. But what they don't say, but should, is that philosophy is also justified and written the victors, a tremendous problem in itself. But I should disgress and am.

    And because of this, whoever is sharing genuine emotions with others is making themselves vulnerable to getting left behind. So everyone is so damn careful not to do anything outside of the damn stupid ass safe community rules and philosophy. Stick to the damn rules of the game and you're always a step ahead. No one gives a shit if you can argue that people can get more if they accept each other for who they are and work together from this, leaving the rules as guidelines, and making the government a completely malleable entity that forms in two goals: to serve in fulfillment of everyone's basic physical and emotional needs and constantly search for better ways to do this. Unfortunately, aside from Athenian democray, and some very ancient societies that historians know very little about to be sure, there really isn't anything even close. If anything all we have now are governments that serve the following purposes

    1. Create rigid order and structure of people in society as an assumed best means to fulfill most people's basic needs.
    2. Using number 1, amass large advanced armies and use those armies for imperialistic philosophies or use religion to amass small or large armies for imperialistic religious philosophies
    3. Let the government serve itself first and the people upholding it second.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gerbah View Post
    And that taking a risk now and then isn't that dangerous either. Then an opening for connection is possible.
    But you're right here...this is true. I should do this more.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Sticks View Post
    ...whoever is sharing genuine emotions with others is making themselves vulnerable to getting left behind.
    this pretty much covers everything you worry about

    till you take a chance, you'll never know where you might end up

    it comes down to karma. try to be strong enough so that your actions are not affected by people's reaction to them. do an action because it makes sense to you, do it because it is the correct and sound thing to do. once your reasons for sharing yourself is sound, people's reaction won't matter too much.

    that said, you'd be surprised how many people are in the same boat as you. everyone is scared of sharing true feelings. i say take the first step, let your goodwill be known. the rest of the majority WILL follow.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Gerbah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Sticks View Post
    But in an adult reality, it's like everyone is on a sinking ship and everyone is frantically running to the life boats, even though there is enough room and time for everyone to get on a life boat if they weren't frantic and thought about the other people not as competition or aggressors for once in their lives. And because of this, people get left behind and go down with the ship; and the survivors justify their behavior with any reason that works for them, particularly any life philosophy that they may have (impressing that justified philosophy on their children and their community, refusing to look at or see any inherent problems with their actions). History is written by the victors, as they say. But what they don't say, but should, is that philosophy is also justified and written the victors, a tremendous problem in itself. But I should disgress and am.

    And because of this, whoever is sharing genuine emotions with others is making themselves vulnerable to getting left behind. So everyone is so damn careful not to do anything outside of the damn stupid ass safe community rules and philosophy. Stick to the damn rules of the game and you're always a step ahead. No one gives a shit if you can argue that people can get more if they accept each other for who they are and work together from this, leaving the rules as guidelines, and making the government a completely malleable entity that forms in two goals: to serve in fulfillment of everyone's basic physical and emotional needs and constantly search for better ways to do this. Unfortunately, aside from Athenian democray, and some very ancient societies that historians know very little about to be sure, there really isn't anything even close. If anything all we have now are governments that serve the following purposes

    1. Create rigid order and structure of people in society as an assumed best means to fulfill most people's basic needs.
    2. Using number 1, amass large advanced armies and use those armies for imperialistic philosophies or use religion to amass small or large armies for imperialistic religious philosophies
    3. Let the government serve itself first and the people upholding it second.
    I hear ya. The facts of reality and how people often really are are painful, yes. A lot of social interactions often come down to fake or superficial game-playing and when you try to inject some genuineness into things, this is often disturbing to the others. People can be very invested in safeguarding the bubbles they live in and don't appreciate being disturbed. They often actively work towards being as little disturbed as possible. I've found that your true self is a precious thing and that it is best to reveal as and when and in a manner that is appropriate to the present situation. For this reason, I often don't put myself out there as much as I would otherwise. Not from not wanting to be open but because the situation is not prepared to receive me.

    As for government, I think a basic part of social problems is that people must lead the government and not the other way around. Only then would government be serving the people. Society comes down to a group of individuals after all. But for this to happen each individual would have to be prepared to burst their bubbles, which is uncomfortable.
    the shoheen ho of the wind of the west and the lulla lo of the soft sea billow - Alfred Graves

  8. #8
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    That paragraph in the OP. It can be overcome by understanding other people and knowing exactly how to deal with them to get exactly what you want from them. This can be done with a glance. But that's not the idea of the OP. The idea is the way you want certain people to see you. This should be known even before they are met. If it is not known then you must do what I said first. Understand them with very quick yet accurate judgement and then make your choice then and there.

    MBTI categorisable? Maybe with the functions.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    Thanks. I'm not sure what to make of what was said here, but to hear sincerity about it instead of ignoring and casting me a whiner is informing and comforting at the same time. So thanks.

  10. #10
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    I can't decide whether to ignore you or cast you as a whiner. Tough call.

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