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  1. #1
    psicobolche tcda's Avatar
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    Default How to deal with someone with bi-polar?

    I don't really know how to express it...the person is a good friend, but really becoming a pain, intense, clingy, needy, self-obsessed, intense, and boring. What should be done in such a situation? Tell them? Shake them up? Be diplomatic? Switch their meds? (joking)

    If anyone has experience please let me know.
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  2. #2
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    If they're on meds, and still like that, then just... tolerate them.

    Some people have it milder than others, but from what it sounds like, your friend is suffering pretty badly. Meds generally regulate people fairly well, but it doesn't sound like it's helping here. If that's the case, the best you could suggest is that they look into other medications. Besides that, try to offer some sympathy. Don't treat it as merely bad behavior. It's an illness like any other.

  3. #3
    psicobolche tcda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    If they're on meds, and still like that, then just... tolerate them.

    Some people have it milder than others, but from what it sounds like, your friend is suffering pretty badly. Meds generally regulate people fairly well, but it doesn't sound like it's helping here. If that's the case, the best you could suggest is that they look into other medications. Besides that, try to offer some sympathy. Don't treat it as merely bad behavior. It's an illness like any other.
    I get this...but, I'm not asking how to "judge" him, I know it's an illness. I'm asking, how to "deal" with them, how to treat them. Obviously I am tolerating him, but it's not really helping anyone, I am trying to do something worthwhile with my time, so is he, and there are people who need my time more.

    The point I am making is, I don't know how this illness works, but I'm not going to spend my time babysitting some guy who I owe nothing to, who has had much more privelige in his life than me, is the same age as me, etc.

    Also I can't "cut links" really, as we're running a "project" together, we're the only two in a small town some distance from the rest of the organization, etc. But I can't be bothered getting bogged down ins pecifics, I am asking for general guidelines on the condition from people with experience.

    But the question is, how do I go about "not babysitting" though? Be honest and strive to help him through telling it like it is, while encouraging good signs? Make excuses? Cut links? "Firm but fair". And how much "firmness" can someone with this condition handle?
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  4. #4
    Senior Member burymecloser's Avatar
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    Hard to say much without more background. How confident are you that "becoming a pain, intense, clingy, needy, self-obsessed, intense, and boring" is not just an unrelated personality flaw?

    Is your friend bipolar I or II?

  5. #5
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    Intense, needy, clingy....this sounds like borderline personality disorder, not bipolar disorder, to me.

    And what do you mean by "intense"? Angry? Or like he's in love with you?

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by tcda View Post
    How do I deal with someone with bi-polar?
    Buy a magnetized bracelet for them. This will stabilize the mood equilibrium, as the earth will experience a pole-shift during 2012.

    The ancient Mayans had magnets. Do you?

  7. #7
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Limit your time with them to what is comfortable for you. Unless you have to be around them then don't be unless you want to be. Just like 'normal' people. Thus when you are around them you build up a tank of tolerance as well as understanding. I am sure they don't expect you to carry the burden of their disability solely on your back.

    They might be misdiagnosed because BPs I have run across are more on and off and different times (like a light bulb) they call me when they are in a mostly good/ecstatic mood or just in need of short term cheering up.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

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  8. #8
    psicobolche tcda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by burymecloser View Post
    Hard to say much without more background. How confident are you that "becoming a pain, intense, clingy, needy, self-obsessed, intense, and boring" is not just an unrelated personality flaw?

    Is your friend bipolar I or II?
    Like I said, I don't know anything about the disorder. It may well be an unrelated personality flaw I just assumed it was because of the disorder, as this may logically make someone depressive and emotionally vulnerable. Also I had heard that someone bi-polar is always "trying to find a middle point" between the extreme contradictions of their conditions - this "repression" of manic/depressive tendencies I guess I assumed may lead to being constantly tense, insecure, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Intense, needy, clingy....this sounds like borderline personality disorder, not bipolar disorder, to me.

    And what do you mean by "intense"? Angry? Or like he's in love with you?
    I guess I was describing the very worst characteristics, and perhaps generalize them. Remembering I'm an emotional retard myself, so these descriptions I guess may be more in relation to me than in relation to this person.

    I wouldn't say he has a borderline PD from what I've read of it, I knew one girl who was diagnosed with this, and he's really not much like her, he generally is a "rational" person but with severe depressive tendencies, and some manic and even psychotic tendencies, underneath, which he controls through medication. The disorder is really in contradiction with the inclination of his personality - I never had this impression of the person with "borderline PD" who I knew.

    When I say intense, more like the second option.
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

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