Consider the alternative... would you rather be one of those people who turns against themselves and doubts every time another person has a new idea against their position, or someone who can't trust their own judgment enough realize when another person's advice isn't valid for them? I've seen too many people like that who basically lived like slaves because of that very thing, and while I think they were decent people, I still don't want to live like that.So do you believe that you always know what's best for yourself? You always trust your own judgement, and believe it not to ever be awry/skewed? Heck, I've had it enough times in my life, where I've said the same thing as you there, but it's often turned out that I really didn't know what was best, and the person who was trying their ass off to help me, and who actually DID help me, I've thrown it back in their face with comments just like that - or else, I've resisted a situation that'd bring happiness and harmony in my life where there was tension, just because of that bit of pride there. I just wonder if there's any room for humility in that sort of attitude... I think the majority of us are, when we're stressed or our judgement is skewed, our own worst enemies!
Well, that's true, but I usually just want friends to discuss things with, ask for advice, maybe even ask for/do favors for once in a while. In my opinion, it's not their responsibility to decide what I want for myself. Although I will want to hear their opinion and take it into consideration, the final decision must be mine. That's just how I am.I just think it's a sorta attitude that means it makes it very hard for people to help you - I mean really help you, not just 'do what you ask' (which isn't always helping, IMO).
Oh, I wasn't offended. I was just saying that might be why you perceived it that way, if you did. (Guess I should have made that clearer.) I didn't take it as a personal attack either. It just seemed like you were saying that if I were inclined to be suspicious rather than giving them the benefit of the doubt, then that seemed arbitrary. So I tried to explain why it is that I might make decisions that seem arbitrary, because I am inclined in some cases to be suspicious and not give them the benefit of the doubt.Well, I did say I wasn't judging you as a whole...
Yes... that's true. But sentences like that one are a prime example of why: I made it clear that I wasn't saying I thought you were 'arbitrary', but despite this, you sorta reduce all that sincerity and effort on my part to a personal attack/judgement and some kind of personal grudge/axe to grind.
Sorry again, I really don't want you to think I'm getting at you, just this stuff really does puzzle me and I really want to understand it and try to get past the bad impressions I've had in the past from the rather unhealthy Fe types I've known. I'm not attacking you as much as trying to 'pick' you for answers that'll help me deal with both you and other people who are similar to you in that regard.