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Thread: On being deliciously bitchy

  1. #11
    Senior Member Array cafe's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
    INFj None


    People that are nice ALL. THE. TIME. get to me. Even (especially?) when they are genuine. Because I'm not. I have strong opinions about things -- negative opinions sometimes -- and I don't want to pop people's bubbles or pee in their koolaide, but I can't stand pretending like the emperor is wearing an Italian suit.

    So, yes, give me a little bitchy so I don't have to feel like I need to have a lobotomy or gouge my eyes out in order to have a conversation with someone. I'm too old for that crap.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  2. #12
    Senior Member Array GirlFromMars's Avatar
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    Jun 2009


    Oh, I can be bitchy alright, and enjoy a certain type in others. I think of it more as fiesty. I can't stand people that are alllwaysss nice. I like a bit of rebel yell. But I don't like NASTYNESS - there's a difference.
    INFP~ 4w5 ~ sx/sp ~ IEI ~ Libra

  3. #13
    That's my name biotch! Array JoSunshine's Avatar
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    Dec 2009


    Hummm...I don't know if this is bitchy or just plain scary (to the recipient of my wrath )

    I am generally a very congenial person. I like most people in one way or another. I don't go out looking for trouble and am generally considerate and compassionate, UNLESS....

    You f*ck with me And I mean, REALLY f*ck with me...look out! It is mainly bullies who I have an issue with. If a person becomes aggressive and threating to me or any of my friends I WILL SAY SOMETHING (male, females, big, small, it doesn't matter) and will most likely scare the crap out of the person in the process - funny thing is the person almost always ends up coming up to me and apologizing afterwards. I think becuase in my rants I usually point out what a jerk the person is being. I know my friends think it is a real hoot, becuase I am so easy-going normally. I like to think I am just bitchy enough to be interesting

    As a side note, I have had bouncers who have come over to "break things up" ask me out maybe there is something to the "deliciously bitchy" theory. I guess there is something appealing about a bubbly "cheerleader" type threating to tear somebody's head off

    ^that makes me sound nuts, but oh well.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  4. #14


    EXFPs who get hurt develop a distinctly Te externalized bitch feel. It can appear hard or callous when we are unhappy or seem a bit edgy if we are happy.

    Real-I am almost always real and open-this is a flaw from the typical Fe perspective I am afraid. Naked is a good word to describe this. simple is another word.

    deliciously bitchy-I am actually most deliciously bitchy when interacting with Fe guys. I sucker punch them and pick on them endlessly. I cant use Fi to interact with kindness, so I revert to a fun bitchy Te punching match. I pick on them and insulting them is actually a sign of affection.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Array Lurker's Avatar
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    Apr 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff View Post
    I think it's an NP quality (typically) to admire a certain amount of rebellion in someone. Bitchy edgy could do that.


  6. #16
    12 and a half weeks Array BerberElla's Avatar
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    Sep 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff View Post
    I think it's an NP quality (typically) to admire a certain amount of rebellion in someone. Bitchy edgy could do that.
    I do admire rebellion but not bitchiness.

    Maybe my definition of what bitchy means is off in regards to what is being referred to in this thread though, I don't know.

    To me being bitchy = being intentionally mean and cruel, catty, vicious, untrustworthy in the sense that a friend bitching about you behind your back and them smiling in your face and denying it, or even taking credit once found out but being completely unapologetic about it.

    There have been times in my life where I have desperately tried to cultivate the bitch in me, to squash peoples feelings with no associated feelings of guilt that usually plague me daily. I have usually failed miserably anyway haha because I regret it instantly.

    My ESFJ and ESTP sisters are very proud of being bitches. They love it, I personally am horrified by it and prefer to avoid them, either apart or together.

    If that is what is meant by being deliciously bitchy in this thread, then this is my reaction to it's glorification. :horor:

    In the women's refuge I lived in though, the term bitch was reworked to help the women living there come to terms with the overuse of it towards them in the relationships they were fleeing.

    Control of

    Was printed on posters and put up in each woman's room, and they tried to get us to associate being called a bitch with being strong, in control of yourself as a woman, not taking any crap from anyone, and any other positive traits they could try to emphasize in that word.

    I can get down with that classification of deliciously bitchy, I still fail miserably at it, but I admire it.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  7. #17

  8. #18
    man-made Array neptunesnet's Avatar
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    Sep 2009
    5&4 sx


    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    I'd definitely consider my SO to be "deliciously bitchy" and it's a quality I find incredibly arousing. Even when it's aimed at me. It does seem more "real" I guess, and I suppose I just love the feisty, I love the taking-care-of-business 'tude, and am a huge sucker for blunt delivery. For me, I think I am attracted to the assertion of the Self above the subservience to the Other, because it's one I can understand and respect in a way.
    But is that bitchiness?

    If so, then most confident women would fit under that definition, and I just can't agree with that.

    "Bitches" are the girls who've tried to make me their victim. They're insecure and annoying. Boisterous and on the right side of pathetic. They manipulate because they're not smart to get their way ethically. Very few people respect them.

    I am focused, I am fiesty, and I am sure, but I am not a bitch.
    Just call me rebel.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    People that are nice ALL. THE. TIME. get to me. Even (especially?) when they are genuine. Because I'm not.
    Well you see those who are nice all the time usually are not genuine.

    If by chance they are always nice and sincere, they're either wearing a tightly fitting mask or they're just not self-aware enough to build an acquaintance with.

  9. #19
    Plumage and Moult Array proteanmix's Avatar
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    Apr 2007


    Eh, I know that I haven't adequately explained what I mean.

    The closest I can come is when you're watching a movie or reading a book and there's a character who OWNS their badness, their flaws. Perhaps what I mean is you can find just as many reasons to dislike them as to like them. In the balance of good and evil, right and wrong, this person is breaking even. I'm thinking about the tension this creates in other people about them not strictly falling into the obviously "good" or obviously "bad" category. There personality is a complete and fully functional ecosystem where you see predation and symbiosis.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

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